Romulus, My Father
BOY:
Papi. Papi.Shh.
(Whispers) Do they just
fall out of the hive?
Nothing's happening.
(Whispers) Just wait, Raimond.
They think it's the sun.
DOOR CREAKS:
For luck.
(Blows)
Wait on, boy.
Concentrating.
Whoo-hoo! (Laughs)
See you later, Jack.
Night, Mick.
Why do they all call you Jack?
That's my new Australian name.
What do you mean?
Maybe 'Romulus'
is too hard for them to say.
WOMEN GlGGLE
Those girls keep looking at you.
They are just nice people.
They like to be friendly.
(All laugh)
Muti!
(Kisses)
It's so nice to be home.
You haven't come home for ages.
Im sorry, darling.
Ive been so busy in Melbourne.
Doing what?
And...just a little spray
of this please, sir.
This?
Mm-hm.
Mmm.
And here.
Do I smell good?
Yep.
Yep? Are we ready to go, then?
Go where?
Aren't you taking me to dinner
in some fine restaurant, young man?
How's school?
Good.
Guess what?
Women smile at Papi.
A lot.
Really?
Yep.
I smiled at him once too, you know.
DOOR OPENS:
And look...
..here we all are.
Here we are.
Morning, Muti.
Morning.
SWlNG MUSIC PLAYS
Good.
Kick, kick, back.
(Laughs)
Whoo! (Laughs)
(Both pant and moan)
Cristal.
I miss you.
CHRISTINA:
We used to meetin secret,
because if my parents had found out,
I would have been in big strife.
Because you were too young?
Yep.
And your father was not German,
he was Romanian.
And he was poor.
It was not allowed.
Why not?
It was a bad time.
We were crazy about each other.
And Ill tell you a secret.
He loved me so badly,
when I tried to leave him...
..he shot himself.
What?
Took a pistol, pointed it
to the side of his head
and then he just pulled the trigger
and... Bang!
But he missed! (Laughs)
The bullet just scratched his nose.
Bombs falling on our heads
out of the sky every night
and your poor crazy father
shoots himself in the nose.
(Laughs) Oh.
(Whispers) You think you can just
come here whenever you feel like it.
You don't write, nothing.
I shouldn't have to write.
You treat this place like a hotel.
Every time you come, Christina,
you cause trouble.
Yes, I always do or say
something wrong.
You had no right
to tell that story.
I love that story.
Why?
Because it reminds me...
Because you want him to think
Im crazy fool.
No!
Shooting myself.
I love that story because
it reminds me we were happy.
Why you do this?
All that matters is your feelings.
Look where they got you, Christina.
You and your bloody feelings.
Who cares about my feelings?
Well, go back to bloody Mitru, then.
(Whistles)
ROMULUS:
Raimond?(Continues whistling)
Rai?
Coo-ee!
Hi, Vacek.
Here you are. Got you some eggs.
(Urinates)
Coo-ee!
WOMAN:
You're sureyou don't want a cuppa, Tom?
No, no, Im right.
We want you to eat until
you're as full as a goog.
Full as a tick, Id say.
(Both chuckle)
And how's your mother, Rai?
Oh, she's gone back to Melbourne.
When she comes to stay,
she and Papi sleep in the same bed.
Ah, yeah.
But she never stays very long.
I reckon we should live together
all the time.
Well, sometimes what you reckon and
what you get ain't the same thing.
So, it's just you
and your father again, then?
And Jack and Orloff.
Oh. And would the bird like tea too?
Yes, please, Miss Collard.
And cake?
Yep, he likes his cake.
Here, Jack.
Oh, well. (Laughs)
(Both chuckle)
(Children laugh and call out)
(Whistles piercingly)
Hora!
Hello, Fritz.
Hup, hup. Up. Hey!
Whoa! (Laughs)
(Laughs)
APPLAUSE ON RADIO
MAN ON RADIO:
Hi ho, everybody.ALL:
Hi ho, Jack.Welcome to 'The Dulux Show'.
Im thinking of sending him
to St Joseph's.
Well, that's good. Good education.
Steam engine.
Expensive.
Yes, but I have an idea.
Oh, yes.
Ohh!
I have to tell you something...
about Christina.
They've moved in together,
some place in Melbourne
and they're coming up here
to live in Maryborough.
Why?
Mitru's got himself
a job at the post office.
Im ashamed.
He's my brother, but Im ashamed.
Don't be. Hora, don't be.
RADIO PROGRAM CONTINUES PLAYING
It will be alright, huh?
Raimond, they've got
a new egg board in Castlemaine.
Yeah?
Shall we sell eggs?
CHICKENS CLUCK AND SQUAWK
Go, you stupid chicken. Come here!
Go, go, go, go, go.
Go, go, go.
(Squawks)
Holy moley!
There's billions of them.
They're all over the place.
Now you need to wash off
all the sh*t.
(Laughs)
(Raimond mimics racing car)
Come on, come on.
Go, go, go, go, go.
(All cheer and laugh)
(Whistles)
ROMULUS:
Hey, Raimond, be careful.Those eggs are sending you
through boarding school.
SPLAT!
Sorry.
RAIMOND:
Papi.Papi!
Look! Papi!
Papi?
HORA:
She's crazy. She's crazy.Tell me you're not
going to agree to this.
Raimond needs to see his mother.
Yes, of course,
but is it right that she comes here
in front of you and your son...
No matter what she's done,
we're still family.
..with my brother, to sit at
your table, under your roof?
(Speaks Romanian)
These things don't change.
Tell me you're joking.
She's my wife.
But does she behave like your wife?
You just keep forgiving her, Gaita,
no matter what it costs.
What more can I say?
You've said enough.
So, where are we all going to sleep?
Raimond.
You, Muti and Mitru
can have the bedroom.
Be quiet and finish your dinner.
That's very kind of you, Rai,
but Ill sleep in the spare room.
Bet you don't know
which star's which.
MITRU:
I bet I do.That's the Southern Cross.
I knew it.
Orion?
Mm-hm.
That bright one there's Venus.
Oh, she's beautiful.
I bet you don't know
which one is Constellation Mitru.
Oh, yeah? Which one's that?
Just the most handsome constellation
in the whole universe.
There's no such thing.
Oh, yes, there is.
Just 'cause you don't know
about it...
Muti reckons that you can tell
what's going to happen by the stars.
CLANGING, LOW VOICES
I don't think so.
Not me, anyway.
I know you and Muti
are living together in Maryborough.
I don't reckon
the stars knew about that.
No.
I mean, why would they be interested?
True.
Very true. (Laughs)
We need to talk about
what's going to happen.
Nothing's going to happen.
That's what's going to happen now.
We need to decide what to do.
What's different? Nothing's changed.
You're with other man.
You've always been with other men.
So why did you marry me, then?
Not because I loved you.
If you don't love me,
then why don't you divorce me?
Im not going to divorce you,
Cristal.
Why? Why not?
Because you need me.
MITRU:
I think I should leave.Could you please
take me to the station?
(Slams door)
MOTORBIKE ENGINE REVS
I wish things could be
how they used to be...
..when we were friends.
MOTORBIKE APPROACHES
ENGINE REVS LOUDLY
ENGINE RATTLES:
ENGINE SPUTTERS:
CRASH !
My darling.
How long do you reckon
you're going to stay?
As long as you need me, darling.
What about Mitru?
Will he be alright without you?
Do you like Mitru?
He's a kind man.
Don't you think?
I think Papi's better.
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