Romy and Michele's High School Reunion

Synopsis: Romy and Michele have been through it all, including being tortured by the Popular crowd when in high school. When they receive word of a 10 year reunion, they come to realize their lives aren't as impressive as they'd like them to be. Instead of staying home they go to the reunion with business outfits, cell phones, and one heck of a bogus success story.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): David Mirkin
Production: Touchstone Pictures
  4 nominations.
 
IMDB:
6.2
Metacritic:
59
Rotten Tomatoes:
71%
R
Year:
1997
92 min
2,423 Views


Take this pink ribbon|off my eyes

I'm exposed|and it's no big surprise

Don't ya think I know|exactly where I stand

This world is forcing me|to hold your hand

'Cause I'm just a girl|Well, little old me

Well don't let me|out of your sight

Oh, I'm just a girl

All pretty and petite

So don't let me|have any rights

Oh I've had it|up to here

The moment that|I step outside

So many reasons|for me to run and hide

I can't do the little things|I hold so dear

'Cause it's all those|little things that I fear

'Cause I'm just a girl|I'd rather not be

'Cause they won't let me|drive late at night

Oh, I'm just a girl|Guess I'm some kind of freak

'Cause they all sit|and stare with their eyes

Oh, am I making myself clear

I'm just a girl

I'm just a girl in the world

- How much is this, Lori?|- It's very expensive.

It's very expensive.

Look, I got money|to spend in here.

I don't think we have anything for you.|You're obviously in the wrong place.

Please leave.

You know, even though we've watched|"Pretty Woman" like 36 times...

- I never get tired of making fun of it.|- Oh, I know.

Aww, poor thing. Look!|They won't let her shop.

Yeah, like those salesgirls in Beverly|Hills aren't bigger whores than she is.

I know!

Oh, my God, listen to that|sad, sad music as she leaves.

It's like, boo-hoo. Uhh.

But it is actually|kind of sad.

Anything you see here we can do, by the|way. Get ready to have some fun, okay?

- Okay.|- Mary Pat, Mary Kate, Mary Frances, Tovah.

- Let's see it, come on! Let's see the outfit.|- How divine!

Exactly how obscene-

I just get really happy|when they finally let her shop.

Okay, so I have|nothing to wear.

We don't even have time to make|anything new before we go out.

Well, what about this?

- Did you lose weight? - Actually, I have|been trying this new fat-free diet I invented.

All I've had to eat for the past six days|are Gummi Bears, jelly beans, and candy corns.

God, I wish I had|your discipline.

- This is it|- Work this

- Diddy-bum diddy-bum pow|- Here it is

I can't believe|how cute I look!

I know! You know what? This is like|the cutest we've ever looked.

Oh, it's definitely the cutest. Don't you|love how we can just say that to each other...

- and we know that we're not being conceited?|- Oh, I know.

No, we're just|being honest.

- Be my lover, Wanna be my lover|- Lover

Go ahead and take your time|Boy you gotta feel secure

Before I make you mine|Baby you have to be sure

You wanna be my lover|Wanna be my lover

God. I hope some cute guys get here|tonight. They were cute last night.

- Oh, they were cute.|- Really cute! - Oh!

- Hey, Michele! Romy!|- We'll take two Diet Cokes?

Right, with extra cherries.|Don't move. I'll be right back.

Okay. I have the yuckiest taste|in my mouth from those taquitos.

- Eeew.|- I hope I don't get indigestion.

Hey, remember that time I barfed|from bad Mexican food? It was so gross.

- Oh, my God, I hate throwing up in public.|- Me too! Ooh.

I can't believe it. There are|absolutely no guys here tonight.

I know. None.

Come on, Michele, let's just|go dance with ourselves.

Okay.

Put your hands in the air

'Cause there's a party over here|So grab yourself a beer

And we could|get on with the world

Swear to God.|Sometimes I wish I were a lesbian.

You wanna try and have sex sometime?|Just to see if we are?

What? Yeah, right, Michele. Just the thought|of having sex with another woman creeps me out.

But if we're not married by|the time we're 30, ask me again.

- Okay.|- Tell me can you feel the

Masked girls comin'|with the fever, fever, fever

Ahh, ahh, ahh, ahh|Stayin' alive, stayin' alive

Ahh-ahh, ahh, ahh, ahh|Stayin' alive, stayin' alive

Ahh-ahh, ahh, ahh, ahh|Stayin' alive, stayin' alive

Ahh-ahh, ahh, ahh, ahh|Stayin' alive, stayin' alive

Ahh, ahh, ahh, ahh|Stayin' alive, stayin' alive

- Ahh-ahh, ahh, ahh, ahh|- Two-four-three.

- Stayin' alive|- Two-four-three.

Two-four-three.

Two, four, three.

Two, four, three.

Service.|Number 243.

It's beautiful.|Is that real wood?

During this century, boys.

Come on, Ramon. Quit jerking off|and bring the car around.

- It's about time.|- Mm. Romy!

You are looking hot today.

Yeah. That's because|I'm sweating like a pig in here.

Well, the air conditioning is|working in the service office.

You might wanna come by|and, uh, cool off later?

Yeah, Ramon.|That'll happen.

Sorry, ma'am.|He is such an a**hole.

Mm.

- I'm in a hurry.|- Well-

I'm going as fast as I can,|Ms Mooney. Heather.

Heather Mooney?

From Sagebrush High|in Tucson?

- Yeah?|- It's Romy!

- Romy White!|- You're shittin' me.

No, this is so weird. I didn't|know you were living in L.A.

Well, now that you know, will|we be getting together a lot?

So, God!|You're driving a new Jaguar?

- What do you do?|- Ever hear of Lady Fair cigarettes?

- The ones that burn down real fast?|- "Twice the taste, in half the time, for the gal on the go"?

I invented the|quick-burning paper.

Wow!

- You goin' to the reunion?|- What reunion?

Our ten-year high school|reunion in Tucson?

You're kidding me. It's been|ten years since high school?

- God. Where have I been?|- I'm stumped. Where?

- Anyway, are you going?|- I'd rather put this out in my ass.

I wonder why we didn't|get an invitation.

I mean, I'm sure Michele would|have told me if she got one.

- Michele Weinberger?|- Mm-hmm.

- Do you live with Michele Weinberger?|- Yeah.

I just thought maybe she'd|be married to Sandy by now.

- Sandy Frink?|- Yes, Sandy Frink.

He could barely contain his erection|every time she was around.

Why do you think he always|carried that huge notebook?

The Frink-a-zoid|and Michele, I am sure.

Besides, didn't you have a thing|for Sandy in high school?

I did not have a "thing. " I did not have|a "thing. " I did not have a "thing. "

I was very much|in love with him.

Very much in love,|and there's a difference.

There's a difference.

There's a difference.

I have to go now.

Well! I guess I won't be|seeing you at the reunion.

- But I'll tell everyone you said "hi. "|- Why don't you tell everyone...

I said to go f*** themselves, for making|my teen years a living hell?

Oh, yeah, right!

Finally-

Michele. You will never guess|who I just ran into.

- God, I cannot believe it's already been ten years.|- I know.

- Oh. - You know...|- There she is.

Oh! God,|she was so weird.

- She still is.|- Why was she, like, always going behind that building?

It was long ago

Seems like yesterday

Saw you standin' in the rain

- Then I heard you say|- Got a light?

- I want your love But it comes out wrong|- Thank you.

- I want to live, but I don't belong|- Thank you! Thank you, I really appreciate that...

because I'm not a human being|or anything, you pathetic turd!

Blood and roses|Blood and roses

Blood and roses

- Roses, roses|- There should be a cigarette you could smoke all the way through between classes.

What a waste.

- Okay. - Find|us. - Oh. Okay.

Oh, my God, do you remember|what a big controversy it was...

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Robin Schiff

Robin Schiff is a Hollywood writer-producer, best known for the movie Romy and Michele's High School Reunion starring Lisa Kudrow and Mira Sorvino. Schiff was a member of the comedy troupe The Groundlings. She does an interview series once a year for the Writers Guild Foundation called Anatomy Of A Script, where she and Winnie Holzman (writer of the musical Wicked and creator of My So Called Life) discuss the craft with other well-known writers. Schiff also teaches a writing class with Wendy Goldman (whom she met at The Groundlings) called Improv For Writing. more…

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