Romy and Michele's High School Reunion

Take this pink ribbon|off my eyes

I'm exposed|and it's no big surprise

Don't ya think I know|exactly where I stand

This world is forcing me|to hold your hand

'Cause I'm just a girl|Well, little old me

Well don't let me|out of your sight

Oh, I'm just a girl

All pretty and petite

So don't let me|have any rights

Oh I've had it|up to here

The moment that|I step outside

So many reasons|for me to run and hide

I can't do the little things|I hold so dear

'Cause it's all those|little things that I fear

'Cause I'm just a girl|I'd rather not be

'Cause they won't let me|drive late at night

Oh, I'm just a girl|Guess I'm some kind of freak

'Cause they all sit|and stare with their eyes

Oh, am I making myself clear

I'm just a girl

I'm just a girl in the world

- How much is this, Lori?|- It's very expensive.

It's very expensive.

Look, I got money|to spend in here.

I don't think we have anything for you.|You're obviously in the wrong place.

Please leave.

You know, even though we've watched|"Pretty Woman" like 36 times...

- I never get tired of making fun of it.|- Oh, I know.

Aww, poor thing. Look!|They won't let her shop.

Yeah, like those salesgirls in Beverly|Hills aren't bigger whores than she is.

I know!

Oh, my God, listen to that|sad, sad music as she leaves.

It's like, boo-hoo. Uhh.

But it is actually|kind of sad.

Anything you see here we can do, by the|way. Get ready to have some fun, okay?

- Okay.|- Mary Pat, Mary Kate, Mary Frances, Tovah.

- Let's see it, come on! Let's see the outfit.|- How divine!

Exactly how obscene-

I just get really happy|when they finally let her shop.

Okay, so I have|nothing to wear.

We don't even have time to make|anything new before we go out.

Well, what about this?

- Did you lose weight? - Actually, I have|been trying this new fat-free diet I invented.

All I've had to eat for the past six days|are Gummi Bears, jelly beans, and candy corns.

God, I wish I had|your discipline.

- This is it|- Work this

- Diddy-bum diddy-bum pow|- Here it is

I can't believe|how cute I look!

I know! You know what? This is like|the cutest we've ever looked.

Oh, it's definitely the cutest. Don't you|love how we can just say that to each other...

- and we know that we're not being conceited?|- Oh, I know.

No, we're just|being honest.

- Be my lover, Wanna be my lover|- Lover

Go ahead and take your time|Boy you gotta feel secure

Before I make you mine|Baby you have to be sure

You wanna be my lover|Wanna be my lover

God. I hope some cute guys get here|tonight. They were cute last night.

- Oh, they were cute.|- Really cute! - Oh!

- Hey, Michele! Romy!|- We'll take two Diet Cokes?

Right, with extra cherries.|Don't move. I'll be right back.

Okay. I have the yuckiest taste|in my mouth from those taquitos.

- Eeew.|- I hope I don't get indigestion.

Hey, remember that time I barfed|from bad Mexican food? It was so gross.

- Oh, my God, I hate throwing up in public.|- Me too! Ooh.

I can't believe it. There are|absolutely no guys here tonight.

I know. None.

Come on, Michele, let's just|go dance with ourselves.

Okay.

Put your hands in the air

'Cause there's a party over here|So grab yourself a beer

And we could|get on with the world

Swear to God.|Sometimes I wish I were a lesbian.

You wanna try and have sex sometime?|Just to see if we are?

What? Yeah, right, Michele. Just the thought|of having sex with another woman creeps me out.

But if we're not married by|the time we're 30, ask me again.

- Okay.|- Tell me can you feel the

Masked girls comin'|with the fever, fever, fever

Ahh, ahh, ahh, ahh|Stayin' alive, stayin' alive

Ahh-ahh, ahh, ahh, ahh|Stayin' alive, stayin' alive

Ahh-ahh, ahh, ahh, ahh|Stayin' alive, stayin' alive

Ahh-ahh, ahh, ahh, ahh|Stayin' alive, stayin' alive

Ahh, ahh, ahh, ahh|Stayin' alive, stayin' alive

- Ahh-ahh, ahh, ahh, ahh|- Two-four-three.

- Stayin' alive|- Two-four-three.

Two-four-three.

Two, four, three.

Two, four, three.

Service.|Number 243.

It's beautiful.|Is that real wood?

During this century, boys.

Come on, Ramon. Quit jerking off|and bring the car around.

- It's about time.|- Mm. Romy!

You are looking hot today.

Yeah. That's because|I'm sweating like a pig in here.

Well, the air conditioning is|working in the service office.

You might wanna come by|and, uh, cool off later?

Yeah, Ramon.|That'll happen.

Sorry, ma'am.|He is such an a**hole.

Mm.

- I'm in a hurry.|- Well-

I'm going as fast as I can,|Ms Mooney. Heather.

Heather Mooney?

From Sagebrush High|in Tucson?

- Yeah?|- It's Romy!

- Romy White!|- You're shittin' me.

No, this is so weird. I didn't|know you were living in L.A.

Well, now that you know, will|we be getting together a lot?

So, God!|You're driving a new Jaguar?

- What do you do?|- Ever hear of Lady Fair cigarettes?

- The ones that burn down real fast?|- "Twice the taste, in half the time, for the gal on the go"?

I invented the|quick-burning paper.

Wow!

- You goin' to the reunion?|- What reunion?

Our ten-year high school|reunion in Tucson?

You're kidding me. It's been|ten years since high school?

- God. Where have I been?|- I'm stumped. Where?

- Anyway, are you going?|- I'd rather put this out in my ass.

I wonder why we didn't|get an invitation.

I mean, I'm sure Michele would|have told me if she got one.

- Michele Weinberger?|- Mm-hmm.

- Do you live with Michele Weinberger?|- Yeah.

I just thought maybe she'd|be married to Sandy by now.

- Sandy Frink?|- Yes, Sandy Frink.

He could barely contain his erection|every time she was around.

Why do you think he always|carried that huge notebook?

The Frink-a-zoid|and Michele, I am sure.

Besides, didn't you have a thing|for Sandy in high school?

I did not have a "thing. " I did not have|a "thing. " I did not have a "thing. "

I was very much|in love with him.

Very much in love,|and there's a difference.

There's a difference.

There's a difference.

I have to go now.

Well! I guess I won't be|seeing you at the reunion.

- But I'll tell everyone you said "hi. "|- Why don't you tell everyone...

I said to go f*** themselves, for making|my teen years a living hell?

Oh, yeah, right!

Finally-

Michele. You will never guess|who I just ran into.

- God, I cannot believe it's already been ten years.|- I know.

- Oh. - You know...|- There she is.

Oh! God,|she was so weird.

- She still is.|- Why was she, like, always going behind that building?

It was long ago

Seems like yesterday

Saw you standin' in the rain

- Then I heard you say|- Got a light?

- I want your love But it comes out wrong|- Thank you.

- I want to live, but I don't belong|- Thank you! Thank you, I really appreciate that...

because I'm not a human being|or anything, you pathetic turd!

Blood and roses|Blood and roses

Blood and roses

- Roses, roses|- There should be a cigarette you could smoke all the way through between classes.

What a waste.

- Okay. - Find|us. - Oh. Okay.

Oh, my God, do you remember|what a big controversy it was...

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