Romy and Michele's High School Reunion Page #4

- Yes. Yes, it is.|- I thought so. So, what do you do?

- I'm a suit salesman.|- Oh, uh-oh

Would you excuse me? I cut my foot before,|and my shoe is filling up with blood.

Ooh, if there ain't no love|then there ain't no use

Ooh, better walk on by|Better walk on through

Hey, hey, there's a woman in the world|that you can't use

Ain't no love, Ain't no use|Ain't no love

Yeah, well, my first choice was to work at a|boutique on Rodeo Drive, but this would be okay.

Well, thank you. Unfortunately, we|don't have any openings here right now.

- Are you serious?|- Mm.

Although we might have|an opening at our discount outlet.

Okay, well, what street|would that be on?

Come on, Michele. At this point,|any job is better than no job at all.

A discount outlet? Me?

Fine.

So, any boyfriends yet?

No. All the guys with good jobs|must be going to some other club.

Oh, you know where Dana met her new|boyfriend? He's a William Morris agent.

Oh! Showbiz!|Good job! Where?

Hi. My name is Romy,|and I'm an alcoholic.

- Hi, Romy!|- Hey.

And you also get a five-percent|employee discount...

over and above our|everyday low prices.

You could make curtains|for the motorhome with this.

- I got this tie for a dollar.|- You paid a whole dollar for that?

- You betcha.|- Ah!

She's one|of our regulars.

So, what do you think?

I- I'd like to go away.

I know I'm supposed to wait|in that line, but listen.

I wouldn't even be here if this|weren't, like, a dating emergency.

Our cutoff is 25.|Try VH-1.

The reunion's less than a week away. I mean,|I just can't believe you turned down a job.

Well, I thought the idea|was to impress people.

I mean, how am I going to impress anyone|by selling Ban-Lon smocks at Bargain Mart?

I'm sick of this.|I'm gonna go weigh myself.

Oh, God! I've been killing myself|for eight days and I gained a pound.

That's impossible! Did you|deduct 16 pounds for your shoes?

Just forget it.|I'm not going.

- What?|- Come on. Get real, Michele. We're idiots.

We can't get jobs and boyfriends,|and lose weight, in two weeks.

But I thought|you said we could.

Wow. God, the top female|executives are all so pretty.

Those aren't the actual executives,|Michele. Those are models.

Oh, I thought|they looked familiar.

God, they really look like|executives, don't they?

That's only because they're|wearing those stupid suits...

and phoney glasses,|and carrying briefcases.

- Huh!|- Oh, my God, Michele, that's it!

We can go to the reunion, and|just pretend to be successful!

I mean, who's gonna know?|They're in Tucson, we're here.

We could just show up|looking like businesswomen.

Oh, my God!|Oh!

Wait. Ohh. But if the people at the|reunion see us drive up in a Nova...

won't they know we're not|really businesswomen?

If you can make us|the clothes...

I can get us the car.

Clear out, boys.|I need to talk to Ramon.

Go!

Yes, cara mia?

Michele and I have this|high school reunion to go to...

and we need to show up|in a really cool car.

- Yeah?|- Todd told me that he gave you a really great deal...

- on an XJS convertible and that you're fixing it up.|- Yeah?

So...

can I borrow your car?

Well, if I loan|you my car...

what do I get?

- Uh, what do you want?|- Ohh, Romy...

you know what I want.

Oh, forget it. I'm not going to have sex|with you just to borrow your stupid car!

I gotta get something.

Okay.

Close the blinds,|and we'll work something out.

Ohh! Ohh! Ohh, Ramon!

- Ohh, Ramon, ohh! Ohh!|- Check this out.

- Oh, yes. Ohh.|- Oh, yeah.

- Oh, man!|- Ohh! Ohh!

Ohh, Ramon!|Ohh, Ramon!

Ohh! Oh, yes.

You are Columbus,|and I am America.

Discover me, Ramon!|Just discover me.

Hey, uh- Explosions.|The earth is moving.

Explosions!|The earth is moving!

Ah, ooh- is that an earthquake?|No, it's Ramon.

Is that an earthquake?|No, it's Ramon!

Ahh! It's Ramon!

Man stallion, fill me|with your giant love wand!

What? No, I'm sorry.|I don't think so.

Well, say something nice|about my penis!

Oh, Ramon, your penis|is so powerful. I'm coming!

- Okay, thanks. Get off me now.|- Aw, come on, wh-

- You wanted it to be believable.|- Aww.

I'm just a girl|in the world

That's all that|you'll let me be

Oh, I'm just a girl|living in captivity

Oh, my God!|You did it!

Yeah, I did.|All right, let's get going.

Oh, this is gonna|be so much fun.

- So, what'd you have to do to get it?|- I had to give all the guys...

in the service department|hand jobs.

Well, while you were doing that,|I taped all the nostalgic songs...

from high school,|to get us in the mood.

- Michele? - Huh?|- I was kidding.

- What?|- You actually think I would do something like that?

For a car?

- Okay, just get in.|- Okay.

Hey, look what else|I got us, little lady.

- Oh, my God. It's a flip phone!|- Uh-huh.

- How'd you get this?|- I bought it.

Okay.

- Are ya ready?|- Ready.

Let's do it.

Tonight|I gotta cut loose

- Footloose -|Footloose! - Footloose!

- Kick off my Sunday shoes|- Kick off my Sunday knees?

- Oowhee, Louise|- I have no idea what the rest of the lyrics are.

- Me neither. Whoo!|- Jack, get back

- Watch out, Tucson, here we come!|- Come on before we crack

- Sh*t!|- Aww.

- Loose your blues - Watch out, Tucson,|here we come! - Everybody cut footloose

Footloose, footloose|Kick off your Sunday shoes

- Sh*t!|- Aww.

- Footloose|- Whoo!

- You're playin' so|cool - Whoo! - Whoo!

Obeyin' every rule

- Dig way down in your heart|- Down in your art-

- You're yearnin', burnin'|- You're flurnin', burnin', earnin'

- Somebody to tell you|- Somebody better tell you

- That life ain't passin' you by|- You have one hell of an eye

- Everybody cut, everybody cut|- Everybody cut, everybody cut

- Everybody cut, everybody cut|- Everybody cut, everybody cut

- Everybody cut, everybody cut|- Everybody cut, everybody cut

- Everybody, everybody cut footloose|- Footloose

I got your picture|I got your picture

I'd like a million of ya|all to myself

I want a doctor|to take a picture

So I can look at you|from inside as well

- You got me turning up and turning down|- Okay, I give up. What are you doing?

Pass this car.|This kid is so obnoxious.

- Turning Japanese|- Oh, my God. What is with that kid?

I don't know.|He is sick!

Turning Japanese I think I'm|turning Japanese I really think so

Turning Japanese I think I'm|turning Japanese I really think so

Turning Japanese I think I'm|turning Japanese I really think so

Oh, I'm sorry. No.

No, not you. No. I was trying|to scare your little boy.

Oh, my God.|Are my lips that big?

Woke up this mornin'|happy as can be

- Some more of that?|- Yeah.

All right. Now, just remember,|from this point on...

we are sophisticated, educated,|successful career women.

Right. Okay.

God, this underwear is totally|riding up my butt crack.

Yeah. Hello.|Um, we need something to go.

- Okay.|- Do you have some sort of businesswoman's special?

- Come again?|- Well, we're businesswomen.

- Yeah. From L.A.|- And you know some places have, like, a lunch special.

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