Rules Don't Apply Page #2

it would solve that.

And try not to let Miss Russell

hear you call them pontoons.

Good afternoon, gentlemen.

(softly) Both girls are going

away for the weekend,

so go now.

Oh, Frank, there you are.

Listen, you're doing swell,

and I want you to be prepared

to drive the boss any minute.

Well, my mom passed away.

Actually, I was raised

mostly by my grandma.

(clears throat)

And your dad?

Uh...

Well, he, kind of, took off

before she passed away, so...

I think every few weeks,

I'll probably be able to go back

and see my grandma and my girl.

I grew up across the street from,

actually, my fiance.

Right now she takes care

of her father's dog kennel.

Do you think I'll ever

get to meet Mr. Hughes?

So, who was it that said...

"They also serve

who only stand and wait"?

John Milton on his blindness.

([laughs)

Good for you, smart cookie.

You know, they say in Hollywood,

a girl can get in trouble

for having a case of the smarts.

Not just in Hollywood, honey.

(girls laughing)

Ha-ha.

But if you or me make a move

on one of these chicks,

we are dead in the water.

We're history. We're fired.

And the Iron Maiden has emerged.

- The what?

- Iron Maiden.

The virgin Marla.

ACTRESS 1:
You did? That's horrible.

ACTRESS 2:
Stop, you.

What's going on?

I called you three times.

Please, I'm late for my 4:00.

What's the matter?

You afraid the old man will hear

you were talking to a normal guy?

Oh, please, no.

Just don't, don't do this.

I'm not doing anything

and neither are you.

You're not allowed to do...

I'm doing just fine. Thank you.

You know what? Forget it.

- (chuckling)

- ACTRESS 3:
What was that about?

Some guys never stop

looking to hide the salami.

- (laughing)

- What?

- What?

- Hide the salami.

Do the deed.

Dip the wick.

Varnish the cane.

Butter the muffin.

I get it.

Bye, girls.

("Rockin' Robin" playing)

He rocks in the tree tops

all day long

Hoppin' and a-boppin'

and a-singing his song

All the little birds

on Jaybird Street

Love to hear the robin go

tweet, tweet, tweet

Rockin' robin

Tweet, tweet, tweet

Rockin' robin

Tweet, tweedle-lee-dee

Go rockin' robin

'Cause we're really

gonna rock tonight

MARLA:
Mamie told me

that six months ago

one of the drivers got fired

because he ate dinner with her.

But Sally says all the drivers

have to be hired

through their churches.

Fine, that doesn't make them angels.

And when is Frank Forbes' fiance

coming to town, anyway?

I don't want a ricochet romance

I don't want a ricochet love

If you're careless

with your kisses

Find another turtle dove

I don't want a ricochet romance

No, no, not me

If you're gonna ricochet, baby

I'm gonna set you free

Reverend Forbes,

do not charge the battery,

if you're not going to use the lights.

Unless, of course,

you'd like to be fired.

Anyway, the virgin Maria's a Baptist.

You do know why Baptists think

f***ing is bad, don't you?

Because it might lead to dancing.

- Knock it off, Levar.

- (music playing)

Ma, he's making eyes at me...

And here's this.

Oh, thank you.

Careful, Granny.

"For food and all thy gifts of love,

"we give Thee thanks and praise.

"Look down, oh, Jesus, from above

"and bless us all our days."

- Amen.

- Amen.

Glad you're feeling

better now, Mr. Bransford.

MR. BRANSFORD:

Your fiance's been doing

a whale of a job

with the kennel, Frank.

But the puppies all tell me

they miss you around here.

Will the house you find us

have at least a tiny yard?

Absolutely.

MR. BRANSFORD:

And you still feel

Howard Hughes

is going to be interested

in developing a housing project

with a kid your age?

When you finally meet him.

For all have sinned and come

short of the glory of God.

The Bible says that we're all sinners.

And the word "sin" actually means

that we've come short of

- God's standards.

- (floorboard creaking)

- Jesus said...

- (dog growling)

that we should love the Lord God

with all our heart, mind, and soul

and our neighbors ourselves.

And I think if...

You think he knows?

Knows what?

You know, that you and I have...

gone all the way.

Don't be silly.

Frank, why do

all you drivers slow down

and speed up again like that?

These are from

the Hughes organization.

Read card 4, please.

Read 4.

"When transporting

female contract players,

"drivers will slow

to two miles per hour

"at any dip, swale,

undulation or impediment

"that may jostle

unsupported body parts."

What does that mean, body parts?

You're kidding!

I haven't even met him

and he's protecting my body parts?

- What does it mean?

- Mom, he means my...

Oh, my God. That's outrageous!

I know. How does he know

they're unsupported?

- It's not amusing, Marla!

- That's what I wanna know.

It's funny.

It's not in the slightest

bit amusing.

To treat these women

like he owns their bodies.

- He doesn't own their bodies.

- To have these young girls go to class

in their tiny little dance outfits.

Uniforms, they're called uniforms.

Have them grabbing

for their paychecks

like it was bait on a hook.

- Which it is.

- Mom, please.

It's just so insulting

and disrespectful.

And you just watch all this

without saying one word,

- Frank, not a single word.

- What's he going to say?

Mrs. Mabrey, I've signed a contract

agreeing not to talk about Mr. Hughes.

Oh, have you? I can only imagine

what it is you won't talk about.

Do you realize my daughter's

never met Mr. Hughes?

I do, ma'am.

Never heard one word from him

about this screen test?

You know, you've saved your money.

You're a smart girl.

You can buy a lot of caviar back

in Front Royal, Virginia, my dear.

They don't have caviar

back in Front Royal,

Virginia, my dear.

Don't you be snippy with me,

young lady.

Nobody's getting any younger.

Mrs. Mabrey, I'd appreciate

your keeping this between us.

I've never met Mr. Hughes either.

- Amen.

- Amen.

- (phone ringing)

- I'll get it.

Hello?

- Mabrey?

- Yes, Nadine.

Everything in the house is fine?

Yes, everything is fine.

Thank you. We would like to know,

when is the screen test

for Stella Starlight?

And where, for heaven's sake,

is Mr. Howard Hughes

who's never been gracious enough

to speak one word

to my daughter since she's been here?

We are not a couple

of Virginia bumpkins.

We've waited long enough.

I have nothing further to say.

Good night.

Marla,

you turned down a scholarship

to Mary Washington.

You haven't written a song

since you've been here,

and you haven't even met this man

who's supposedly

making your screen test.

His money is not enough

to buy your time.

Mom, he's the king of Hollywood,

he's one of the most

respected men in America.

He's some kind of a genius.

Everybody wants him, he's a busy man.

And you are a gifted young woman

with a wonderful future.

God forbid, in a town like this.

This game Howard Hughes

plays with young women,

it doesn't fool me one bit.

Nobody's getting any younger.

We are going home.

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