Rules Don't Apply Page #4

But the man's

an incredibly romantic figure.

I mean, let's face it, he's old

but everybody's got a crush

on him anyway.

I don't know if it's the money

or the power or the mystery or what.

This is silly.

What am I,

Mamie Eisenhower in a limousine?

(chuckling) I think maybe

it's gonna happen now, Frank.

I just met Howard Hughes.

Frank, that's 3:
15 a.m.

Do you read me?

Roger. 3:
15 a.m.

What's 3:
15 a.m.?

I'm meeting him.

I pick him up here, 3:15 a.m.

(laughs) It is a big day!

My mom could not have been

more wrong! (chuckles)

That's water.

From Maine.

(Marla scoffs)

Water.

From Maine.

How many bathrooms did

the house you grew up in have?

One.

Mine, too.

Keep dreaming about that house.

I keep knocking walls out

and making it bigger and bigger.

No, no, no. I need to know

if that son of a b*tch Levar,

is behaving appropriately

with these girls.

And by the way,

I'm not sure about Wilbur either.

So tonight, I'm checking out

this kid Frank Forbes.

(orchestral music playing)

Did you ever think you'd be sittin' in

your front yard listening to

the Los Angeles Philharmonic?

Let's just hope nobody saw me

driving you in the front seat.

Frank, I really wanna

let you know

that when you told me

the rules don't apply to me

it was really helpful.

Good.

You know, they don't

apply to you either.

Right.

Right.

Right.

(door unlocking)

I guess we better

say good night.

Yes.

Good night.

Hey! You've got a date at 3:15.

(sighs)

Bobby Darin's not coming by later?

(panting)

Mr. Hughes, I'm Frank.

It's really an honor

to have the opportunity

to drive you, Mr. Hughes.

I didn't... I wasn't...

I didn't know I'd be...

It would happen that

I'd be driving you, but I...

or that I'd be...

meeting you, I mean.

It's a nice night.

Hey, do you think Levar

and Wilbur are the kind of guys

who might wanna

chippy on their wives?

- Chippy, sir?

- Cheat.

Oh! I think they're

both honest men, sir.

- Not old and jaded, you know?

- No.

Yeah, because that's one thing

I simply cannot abide

is a married man

who chippies on his wife.

I have to fire him, you know?

And if anybody working for me

wants to strike up a relationship

with one of

our contract actresses

- I have to fire him.

- Right.

- I just have to do that...

- Yeah.

They told me you're engaged to

be married to your...

- seventh grade sweetheart?

- Yes.

- Is that good? Yeah.

- Yes, thank you.

I admire that.

Tell me something.

Is... What is your thinking on Sally?

Or, uh...

Or Mamie, for instance?

Do you think

they're straight arrows?

- Straight arrows?

- Yeah.

Or the Apple Blossom Queen.

Does she play around?

Marla Mabrey, you mean?

Marla Mabrey, yeah. ls she fast?

- Fast?

- Fast. Promiscuous. Yeah.

Oh, well,

everybody who knows her says

she's the most devout

Christian they've ever met.

Really? And does she drink?

I'm told she's never had

a drink in her life, sir.

- Really?

- Yes.

- She go to church?

- Not far from my own.

You...

You go to church every Sunday?

- Yes, Sir. Since I was 13.

- Really?

You know, all these girls

want their own cars.

But I'm telling you,

if you don't drive them,

you can't keep an eye on them.

And it's just a, it's just a...

You gotta have

- their gate keys.

- Yes.

The keys to their gate,

because I'm telling you...

Venereal disease

in Los Angeles County's

- up something like 85%.

- Really?

Are you familiar with available land

off Mulholland Drive, sir?

We're very impressed

by a guy named Colton at Searle.

And he seems to have come up

with something for the ladies

called a birth control pill.

- Birth control?

- Birth control pill.

It's a contraceptive. It's Enovid.

If you're smart,

you'll buy yourself some Searle stock.

Mmm. Thank you for that tip, sir.

You know, Hoffmann-La Roche

just got a new drug

through the FDA.

It's an antidepressant.

They're calling it Librium.

The company's Swiss,

but they've got an American division

with a CEO by the name

of Bob Clark. He's part Irish.

So instead of Smith Kline,

or Merck, or Upjohn,

or Pfizer, or even Searle,

you might wanna take a look

at Hoffmann-La Roche.

Might be a heck of a stock.

Uh-huh.

A-ha!

Oh, that's nice.

Yeah.

(clears throat)

Hmm.

"For food and all Thy gifts of love,

"we give Thee thanks and praise.

"Look down, Oh Jesus, from up above

"and bless us all our days. Amen."

Okay, now, what did you wanna

- Oh!

- Sell me on Mulholland Drive?

It looks to me, sir,

that this might be, excuse me,

the right time to buy

a very unique piece of land.

It's 117 acres. It's got everything.

It's located right above Mulholland...

Do you like to fly?

- Fly?

- Fly.

Um, no, sir.

- No?

- No.

Why?

Uh, I never have. (chuckles)

You never have what?

Flown in a plane.

You've never flown in a plane?

No.

Oh.

No, no, no, sir.

Sir, this one's on Frank Forbes.

Who's Frank Forbes?

(laughing)

I got you! I got you on that one!

You got me with that one, sir. Yes.

No, I know you, Frank.

I know all about you. You know that?

- I know all about you.

- Really?

- This thing, you know...

- Mm-hmm.

About two and a half months,

maybe three months

gonna be ready to test.

But tomorrow

we're testing a little plane.

Oh, really?

And I want you there with me.

- Okay?

- Yes, sir.

- You understand?

- Yes, sir.

- You get it?

- Yes, sir.

Okay. Good.

You know, sometimes

I just like to come out here

and just sit, have a burger,

and just talk to my plane.

(laughter)

Hi, plane.

Say hello to my plane, will you?

Hi, plane.

Plane, this is Frank.

And tomorrow,

we got the little plane.

(upbeat orchestral music playing)

COLONEL MAXWELL:
Mr. Hughes,

you continue this flight

at the risk of endangering

a plane that has been paid for

by the government

of the United States.

HOWARD (on radio): I am trying to land

the goddamn thing!

COLONEL MAXWELL:
Mr. Hughes,

get on your safety frequency.

(Static)

Come in, please.

- No safety frequency.

- (engine sputtering)

(metal rattling)

Do I... (gasps)

A little surprise, huh?

It works. Yeah.

I feel this. Do you like it?

MALE ORDERLY 2:
Yes, sir.

Don't touch that codeine.

(metal clanging)

(scoffs)

(sighs)

(scoffs)

- If you can get pushing...

- Don't tell me what to push!

I invented the goddamn thing!

Time for your enema, sir.

Give the goddamn enema bag

to Mr. Forbes, please.

Yes.

Mr. Forbes. The enema bag.

You're the only person I trust

with that thing now, Frank.

I tell you, this dope stops you up.

It stops you up.

Buying you some of

that birth control stock.

It's gonna go through

the goddamn roof.

Frank, you know how old I was

when I inherited the

Hughes Tool Company from my daddy?

Younger than you.

Mr. Hughes, I don't know

that I'm really qualified to...

Oh, that's gonna be a bad scar.

What do I...

What do I do with that?

I'll check on it, Mr. Forbes.

Lana Turner's roses

are better than mine.

But look at these!

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