Rustlers' Rhapsody Page #4

We don't believe in that.

Let the old men who start the wars

fight the wars. That's our motto.

l'll fight them by myself.

It's not a big problem.

No, you won't!

l'll fight them with you.

- You and me together, Rex.

- No.

Oh, give him a break, Rex.

He wants it so much.

- You know what l'm saying?

- Oh, please!

Then let him fight. He wants to fight.

He's a young man.

Come on, do something different.

l'm the only one here

that knows what's gonna happen.

He wants to fight. Let him fight.

He's a young man.

And that's how me and Rex

actually got together.

l'll never forget that next day.

At first, he was tying

tD get rid of me.

Come on.

You wanna be a sidekick,

Iearn the ropes.

OK, Rex.

OK.

Good. Vey good.

Thank you.

Thank you vey much.

OK.

But later, he and l

wrote a song together,

and because l could sing real good,

l started winning him over.

That's great. Great chords.

Let's do it again.

l'll get by

l'll wait until the rivers run dy

lf it takes a million years

Girl, l

Will know a million years

Can't come too soon

Somehow, somewhere

Our eyes will meet

And then and there

The spas will set

A magic night on fire

And l'll lasso you the moon

That's terrific.

Great!

Come on, we're going for a swim.

- l don't know, Rex.

- Oh, there's nothing to it.

- l'm a little nervous.

- It's just water.

l really had no idea what this iob

was all about.

lt's not easy.

l'll tell you, Rex,

if it wasn't for these roots,

l bet l'd be sore all over.

Well, time to hit the sack.

Night, Peter.

Pleasant dreams, Rex.

Hey, Rex.

lt's a silly question, l guess,

but do you really know the future?

- Yes.

- Wanna explain that?

l told you, all those towns

are the same.

J:

Well

the same thing keeps happening

in all these towns.

The bad guys, who are usually rich

for some reason,

are always taking advantage of

the good guys, who are usually poor.

l ride into town and ioin forces

with the good guys,

defeat the bad guys,

and then l ride out. Over and over.

lt's my karma, l guess.

Your what?

Ty to get some sleep, Peter.

Tomorrow's the big shootout.

OK.

Shootout?

Look, l painted a circle around

Isabel's eye. What do you think?

l think you're weird.

Rex, about this shootout,

what are your plans?

Oh, l don't know. l guess l'll shoot

the guns out of their hands.

J:

Well

how many will there be?

l don't know.

Don't know?

- l thought you knew the future.

- Oh, in general.

ln general?

No specifics?

Maybe l should buy me

a steel helmet.

You wanted the sidekick iob.

l don't see anybody.

This is it.

Holy mackerel.

l made a mistake.

We can't beat this many men.

Now...?

Now you realize that?

l mean, damn, Rex.

- For a guy who knows the future...

- There's too many of them.

Forty percent chicken out. l didn't

think they'd have a good turnout.

What are we gonna do?

- l'm thinking.

- Good.

Good.

Eveyone whose birthday occurs

on an even-numbered day, aim at Rex.

Eveyone with an odd-numbered

birthday, aim at the nerd.

l'll distract them. When l give you

the word, you ride away.

No problem.

Ready, aim...

Let me do it. Let me do it.

l want to do it.

Fine, l don't care.

Ready!

Aim!

He is vey good.

- Wish my horse could do that.

- Me too.

Let's get out of here.

Take off!

Now!

Don't iust stand there.

After them, men!

We can't go after them.

We're up here on this ridge.

Gee whiz!

You told us to get up here.

We need to talk.

This is really embarrassing.

Go, Isabel!

This sort of thing

drove the bad guys crazy.

And they did eveything

they could think of tD get rid of us.

Of course, it never worked.

ln the first place, Rex always knew

what they were gonna do

before they did it.

Good night, boys.

See you tomorrow.

And in the second place, they were

the bad guys, so they couldn't win.

- Jud.

- Yes, sir.

Throw another fagot on the fire.

What?

Another log.

Throw another log on the fire.

- Yes, sir, right away.

- Damn.

- We know one thing.

- What?

Brute force doesn't work.

He always outsmarts us.

That's right.

That means we've got to outsmart him.

The problem is,

we are bad and he's good,

so he always beats us.

That's the problem.

- Wait a minute.

- What?

That's it.

l've got it!

- Got what?

- A truly great idea!

What the colonel had

was a truly great idea.

All we knew, at the time,

was what usually happened.

The bad guys would get a hired gun

and a shootout would follow.

But l could tell

Rex was getting a little edgy.

lt was like he knew something

was going tD happen

that hadn't happened before.

- When is the showdown?

- What?

When is this guy gonna come to town?

Tomorrow. l fight him tomorrow.

Well, what do you wanna do now?

Wanna go swimming or iron shirts?

Swim or shirts?

Go back to camp.

l need some time alone.

- Come on, Rex.

- l need some me time.

''Me time''?

Hey, hey, how about

l have the girls out?

No.

- Don't you like girls, Rex?

- Yes!

Yes, l like them vey much.

l'll see you tonight, Peter.

So long, Rex.

On, Wildfire, on!

Let's take it on home, Miss Tracy.

l ride alone

l was good that time.

We'll finally get this thing right.

Hi, Rex.

Hey, Rex, how's tricks?

You know, tricks.

What's going on here?

Rex.

- l was lonely.

- You were lonely?

You don't know what lonely is, sport.

May l have my guitar, please?

l don't suppose you know

my mother gave me this

and l hold the copyright

on that song.

No, l didn't.

This is my campsite. l live here.

l found the spot.

l'm the one who put the rocks

in a circle to make a fire.

Rex, l am completely out of line,

and it won't ever happen again.

Correct. It won't, Peter.

Relax, Rex, we all iust had a root.

You know, root.

Oh, good, my roots!

Go ahead, eat them all.

Have a big old time.

But you're gonna have to excuse me.

Some of us have a gunfight tomorrow.

Girls,

l think you better get dressed and go.

He's not himself.

Rex.

Go home, Peter.

OK.

OK, l'm fired.

l deserve it.

But l iust want to say one thing.

l hope you shoot Mr. Barber

in both hands.

- Who?

- Barber.

- Bob Barber.

- Bob Barber?

That's what the colonel's daughter

called him.

Not Bad Bob Barber?

Bothersome Bob Barber?

Bob ''The Butcher'' Barber?

No.

No, iust Bob.

Look, l'll see you later.

lt's been fun.

l can see by your ouit

That you are a cowboy

You can see by my oumit

l'm a cowboy tDo

Hello, Rex.

Bob? Bob Barber?

Yep.

Though some folks call me

Wrangler Bob Barber.

Nice outfit.

Thanks. So is yours.

- Just something l threw together.

- Same here.

You don't wear the same outfit

evey day?

No, that's boring.

Ever face another good guy before?

- No.

- Me neither.

Makes you wonder

what will happen.

l guess the good guy will win,

just like always.

Yep. Except we're both good guys.

Then l reckon the most good

good guy will win.

- That's the way l figure too.

- Yep.

You can't beat me, Bob.

You work for the colonels.

That makes me the most good.

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