Ruthless People

Hey

Stand up

Hey

Ruthless People

Ruthless People

Greedy | forever and ever

Success

Greedy | and ever so clever

A mess

Keepin' their right | to creep into paradise

They'll even | blackmail St. Peter

They'll pay any price

Hey

Stand up

Come and see

Ruthless People

Greed and evil | oh yeah

You can have it | if you want it

It might take | the rest of your life

If you want it | you can have it

Do a balancing act | on a knife

You can have it | if you want it

It fits and gets cheap | at the price

If you want it | you can have it

Despite your sweet soul | and your lies

Ruthless People

Ruthless People

Carol, did I ever tell you | why I married her?

Yes, Sam, you told me | many, many -

Her father was | very, very rich...

and very, very sick.

The doctors assured me | he'd be dead any minute.

There wasn't | a second to lose.

I rushed right out and | married the boss's daughter.

He was so sick!

It was like the angel of death | was sittin' in the room with him,

watchin' the clock.

They pulled the plug | on him.

He wheezed and shook | for about an hour.

And then...

he stabilized.

That son of a b*tch | just got older and sicker.

And older and sicker!

And older and sicker!

- More coffee, sir? | - No!

I couldn't wait around any longer. | I went out and made my own fortune.

The old fart hung in there | for 15 years!

Finally died | of natural causes.

I want the rest | of that money!

His money, her money, | it's my money!

I had to live with that squealing, | corpulent little toad all these years!

God, I hate that woman! | I-I-I-

I hate the way | she licks stamps.

I hate her furniture.

And I hate that little sound | she makes when she sleeps.

[ Snorting, Baa-ing ] | Ohhh!

And that filthy, little | shitbag dog of hers... Muffy!

- Aren't you scared? | - Scared?

Hell, no. | I'm lookin' forward to it.

My only regret, Carol,

is that the plan | isn't more violent.

Don't you consider throwing | a body off a cliff in the | dead of night violent?

Nah! She'll be unconscious, | knocked out from the chloroform.

I'm talkin' about | hands-on involvement.

Hands-on?

Ohh. Ohh!

Oh-ho! | [ Snort ]

[ Whispering ] | I'm goin' now. I can't wait.

Good luck.

Barbara, dear, | I have something for you.

Barbara?

Where are you, dearest?

I have something for you.

Honey?

Barbara?

Dumpling?

Barbara?

No notes, | no messages.

This is not like you, | you meticulous b*tch!

It's just like that woman | to screw this up.

Damn it!

What are you doin' here? | Mining the carpet | with little poodle bombs?

Here! Take a whiff of this, | you little fruitcake.

I'll kill you!

- [ Yipping ] | - I'll wring your neck!

You hairy rat!

[ Phone Ringing ]

- Hello. | - [ Man ] Mr. Stone?

Listen very carefully. | We have kidnapped your wife.

We have no qualms about | killing and will do so | at the slightest provocation.

- Do you understand? | - Who the hell is this? | Is this some joke?

I have no patience for | stupid questions, Mr. Stone, and | I don't like repeating myself.

Do you understand?

All right, I'm sorry. | Please continue.

You are to obtain a new, black | American Tourister briefcase,

- model number 81 04. | Do you understand? | - Yes.

In it you will place | $500,000 in unmarked,

nonsequentially | numbered $100 bills.

- Do you understand? | - Sure.

Monday morning at | 11:00 a.m., you will proceed | with case in hand,

to Hope Street Plaza and | wait for a phone to ring.

You will receive | further instructions then.

- Do you understand? | - Yes, I do.

You'll be watched at | all phases of execution.

If anyone is with you or if | any action is not carried out | to our complete satisfaction,

it will be considered | an infraction of the rules, | and your wife will be killed.

- Do you understand? | - I believe so.

If you notify the police, | your wife will be killed.

If you notify the media, | she will be killed.

If you deviate from our | instructions in any way | whatsoever, she will be killed.

- Do you understand? | - Perfectly.

[ Sirens ]

Reporter | Just 45 minutes ago, | Mr. Stone received a call...

from a man demanding | a ransom for his wife, Barbara.

[ Muffled Cries ]

- [ Groan ] | - Kenny!

Barbara Struggling

[ Grunting ] | Grab her legs.

[ Muffled Cries Continue ]

Aah!

Do you think | she's dead?

[ Muffled Cries ]

Aah!

[ Grunting ]

Muffled Cries Continue

[ Muffled Cries ]

You f***ed | with the wrong person!

My husband does business | with the Mafia.

When they track you down, | you, your entire family, | everyone you ever knew...

will all get chain saw enemas | and that's not all!

Oh, my God! | I've been abducted by Huey and Duey.

An-- | [ Sniffing ]

Jesus Christ! | It smells like a toilet in here!

- It's just the ammonia. | - We scrubbed down here for hours | on our hands and knees,

Kenny | For God's sake.

My husband worships | the ground I walk on! | Wait till he hears about this!

He will explo-o-ode!

Bye-bye, Barbara. | [ Snickering ]

In local news, a kidnapping | today in Bel Air.

Police tell us this woman, | Barbara Stone,

the wife of clothing tycoon, | Sam Stone,

was abducted earlier today | from the couple's estate | on Bellagio Drive.

Preliminary sources indicated | that Mr. Stone was contacted | late this afternoon...

and that a ransom demand | has been made. Police officials--

[ Newscaster 2 ] | ...kill Mrs. Stone | if demands were not met.

It's on every | goddamn channel!

Millionaire heiress, Barbara Stone, | has been kidnapped...

from her | Bel Air mansion.

What'd he do, | hire a publicist?

I feel terrible. | Do you feel as guilty as I do?

Guilty? | Are you kidding?

He takes our money, | steals your idea,

goes out and makes | a million dollars, | and you feel guilty?

I can't | believe it!

- How many times | have we been over this? | - Oh, honey, not again.

Let me remind you | of something.

You are the spandex | miniskirt king.

Not him. | He is the spandex miniskirt thief.

He's the one | who should feel guilty.

Look at this. | Do you remember this?

You cried for a week | when you saw this. Look at | the smile on that a**hole.

I know he stole it, but she | really didn't do anything.

She was his partner! | Oh, damn it, Sandy.

Do you enjoy | getting stepped on? Do you?

'Cause I don't, | and I don't feel guilty.

I take it back. | I do feel guilty.

I feel very guilty. | I trusted a sleazeball | like Sam Stone...

with our life savings | on a handshake deal,

and then sat there | and watched him take it | all away from us.

But that's over. | We know better now.

From now on, | we trust no one.

To hell with everybody else. | We've got to be ruthless.

- Think ruthless. | - What if I can't think ruthless?

You've got to. It's good for you. | It makes you strong.

What the hell's the sense | of being a decent person | when nobody else is?

Let's be a**holes | and get rich!

- [ Squealing, Moaning ] | - Whirring Noises

Oh, oh! I'm crazy about you, | you big galoot!

Ooh, you were | somethin' today!

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