Sadie's Last Days on Earth Page #4

Bean, def tomorrow!

- Think we found

our possum's tree.

Holy... where'd you get this?

- It's my dad's.

- What was he,

an action hero or something?

- Nah, a mid-life crisis.

Just gotta make sure

I don't Bueller this thing.

- No, I don't wanna get ya

in trouble.

- Ah, don't worry about it.

When your dad places

all his unfulfilled dreams

on your shoulders, you're

kind of always in trouble.

- I didn't realize that...

- alright, so,

have you thought about

what you're gonna say?

- Umm, I'm gonna talk

things through with her?

- Long verbose declamation,

or short and earnest?

- I didn't plan a speech.

- Spontaneity!

Straight from the heart.

I like it!

Good luck.

- So I checked the hashtag

everywhere,

and mod definitely has a "nobody's

doing it" type of feel,

but nobody's doing it.

- Are, uh, you girls heading

to the bean?

- Yeah.

- Uh, well, I only have room

for one.

Brennan, you want to ride along?

- Oh!

- Oh.

- Uh, sure.

- Oh, my god.

- Good for her.

- No. Good for her, totally.

- Good for her.

F*** all you bad boys

you bad, bad boys

- cool car.

- Uh, yeah, yeah, thanks.

You bad boys,

you bad, bad boys

comin' on down cloud 69

oh, crap, um, there's

the thing, at the school,

and, and it matters!

I gotta go back.

- But the bean...

- Right, um, sorry.

Why don't I just drop you here?

- Yeah, sure.

- Sorry.

I'm like dynamite

it's a gentle pull

you can let 'em wait

but you never feel full

I'm like, oh my god, you know

you need a girl girl girl

- Oh my god, girls.

Get here.

Yeah, it was like the

coolest car ride ever!

Mm-hm, yeah,

I'm already at the bean.

Um, 'cause it's like

a muscle car.

They're the fastest!

Yeah, see you, too.

Comin' on down cloud 69

- didn't go so well?

- Didn't go beyond the tree.

She was on the phone pretending

like she was already there,

acting cool.

- People wanna seem cool.

- We never did.

Not for each other.

God, I'm such a wuss.

Ugh, I suck!

- Me too.

Let's just get it over with.

Off ourselves.

Double-suey.

Sh*t, not supposed

to suggest suicide to students.

Especially not one

who's obsessed

with the world's

population dying.

It's my obsession

with everyone dying

that nurtures my extreme will

to survive.

- Phew, that could've been

a lawsuit.

- And you'd feel bad.

- Sure, that too.

So you were sucking?

Oh my god,

I have to stop doing that.

- I can't figure it out!

It's like I don't know how to

have relationships anymore!

As soon as I get a moment

to talk to Brennan,

I just filled

with so much anxiety

and shrank into nothingness!

- On the flip side,

I called Calvin last night.

Bared my soul, blubbered, wailed,

and I think I even gag-heaved.

There's no green side

on our lawn.

- It's the Friday

before the final Friday,

and I resigned myself to myself.

They don't need me

and I don't need them.

There's a lot to be done.

I know weeks from now

I'll be digging

through rubble, hopelessly

searching for survivors.

And I'll have to make peace

with the fact

that I didn't sort

things out with Brennan.

But I might as well get

ready for a life of solitude.

At least I'll have a life.

- And that is Uranus.

You got it?

Neptune is the outermost planet

and the third most massive.

It's similar to Uranus

but it's a darker blue color.

Alright, fire alarm.

Let's line up at the front

of the class for a headcount.

- Excuse me!

- Sadie, let's wait for the class.

- My way's more efficient!

- Sadie!

Sadie, Sadie, it's okay!

It's not your responsibility.

You can't... you don't have to...

- shhh, it's just a false alarm.

It's okay.

- I'm sorry.

- It's okay. I get it.

- No, I got so wrapped up,

I didn't know I lost you.

And then when I did,

it was too late.

- You don't think I missed you

too?

I couldn't wait forever.

- You! You!

- Slow down!

- I thought I was gonna die!

- Wait, you orchestrated this?

That's so sweet!

I guess I can still hang

with someone

who doesn't have

a yellow locker.

- You pulled the fire alarm,

and I get

a full lunch detention

on Wednesday.

- You totally deserved it.

- Hey, look, I risked my

baby-making bits

pulling that one, alright?

- Connie, come join us!

- You're gonna get detention

for that one, Sade.

- Later.

- Um, you call Ms. nickel

by her first name, Sade?

- We eat lunch together.

She's a bit quirky,

but I like her.

- I can't believe

you guys did all that.

And thanks, Jack, for

pushing her off the cliff.

- Nah, she jumped.

She's gonna do it.

Oh my god, she's gonna do it!

Yeah, crustaceous rose!

That's the darkest shade yet!

Been practicing.

- 'Kay, so, it's Friday.

What should we do tonight?

- I say we each commit

three dollars and see

who can find the weirdest,

slash funniest, buys

at 99 cent store.

- Or, we could stay

in the bunker!

Hazard vest, huh?

So funny, slash weird!

- Sadie, outside is okay.

- It's an unnecessary excursion.

- Sade, remember how we got so

bored lying around our rooms

we'd take an hour and a

half to walk the four blocks

and back to the dollar store?

- Yeah.

- Well, the longer we take

to get there,

the closer we are to the bunker,

and when we get there

we'll know the bunker

is just a few blocks away.

- And so here's the real kicker.

My mom threw out

my lucky underwear!

My lucky pair!

They're gone.

- That actually is the most

embarrassing first ever date.

- Well, aren't they all?

Sadie, what's yours?

- Oh, um, I actually

haven't been on a date.

- Mine was pretty awful.

- Soda Sam?

- Yeah, I had the hugest crush

on Sam.

Like, school started and

he was a different person.

So, a bunch of us were going

to the movies

but Sam asked me to go with him.

- The one where the girl

takes off her glasses

and she's hot.

- Gotcha.

- I'm excited and nervous

and have all the feels.

So, Sam and I sit two rows

away from everyone else.

- Wait, and you were there?

- Yes, now let her

tell the story!

- Okay, sorry, sorry,

I like a full picture!

- So, the movie starts,

cool guys made a bet,

but I'm barely paying

attention because I can't

slow my heart rate.

Guys, why am I telling you

this story?

- Oh, no no no, c'mon,

it's cute.

- Is it?

- Yes, continue.

- Ugh, okay!

So, I notice his hand

moves past the kernels

and I realize he's reaching

for my hand,

so I reach out to meet

him halfway but it's like

I've lost control of my limbs,

and my hand flies towards him

and barrels

into the giant coke

and pours all over him!

Okay, no, I can't do it!

- No, no no, you have to,

come on.

- Sadie, just finish it!

Sam leaps up,

his pants are all wet,

and Brennan grabs some napkins

and starts

mopping 'em up!

And Sam gets

noticeably... excited...

- No, no, he...!

- Yes.

- It was pretty awful.

- Yeah.

- Okay, and then what happened?

- Actually, Sadie had a

severe allergic reaction

to peanuts, so we had

to rush her out of there,

and thankfully a near-death

experience

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