Say It Isn't So Page #4

Rock and roll, baby!

I'd like to see somebody fall asleep

to this sh*t here. Ted Nugent!

Hey, Dig!

Are you crazy? I'm wired

like a microwave, baby!

Well, before we depart,

I want you to know two things, El Paso.

One:
I am one-eighth Chippewa Indian.

And when you save the life of a Chippewa,

it must be paid back tenfold.

- I owe you big time.

- That's not necessary, but thank you.

No, no, no. Heap big. Heap big, daddy.

I appreciate everything you done for me. I do.

What was the other thing?

You said you wanted me to know two things.

No, I don't think I said that. I was sayin'...

Oh! Oh, yeah.

When you find that sister of yours,

you get outta this town, ASAP.

- Some spooky cats around here.

- What kinda spooky cats?

The kind with money and power.

That sounds like the kinda guy Jo is with.

Well, good luck flippin' that coin, daddy.

I'll see you later, El Paso.

Oh, Dig. Thanks for not suing me.

A pleasure bein' hit by a man of your calibre.

- Beaver Police.

- Yes. My name is Valdine Wingfield.

I'm calling from Shelbyville, Indiana.

I'd like to report a sexual predator.

His name is Gilbert Noble.

He assaulted his own sister.

He's still very dangerous and he's

on his way to Beaver this very minute.

His own sister, huh?

You know, I didn't know Jo Wingfield

had a brother. Isn't that sweet?

- Do you have a description of the pervert?

- I can do better than that.

I have his mug shot, taken last year when

he was arrested protesting for animal rights.

Sounds like a bad apple.

That's great. Why don't you fax that over?

Listen. I'd rather this didn't get back to Jo.

She and Jack have so much on their minds,

what with the big wedding.

I'd appreciate you being discreet about this.

Absolutely, ma'am. Beaver Police

are known for their discretion.

- Comfortable, Mrs Hartunian?

- Yeah.

- How you doin'? How's your family?

- Fine.

Would you like the standard bikini wax?

No. I'm goin' to Hawaii with my husband.

Better landscape the whole yard.

So... do you ever miss cutting hair, Jo?

No, not really. I mean, my heart

wasn't into it, like it is with bikini waxing.

I guess you could say that some people

are cutters and some people are yankers.

I was just born to yank.

Gilly?

Mama, how could you not

have told me he was coming?

I'm sorry, baby. I know I should have.

I just kept praying he'd come

to his senses and get over it.

Poor, crazy guy.

Crazy? What do you mean, crazy?

Oh, Jo.

I hate to tell you this.

Your brother Gilly now has

an imaginary friend. Leon.

He's been going all over town and

telling everybody he's not your brother,

but this fellow Leon is.

- Poor Gilly.

- Don't you worry about him.

Your mama has enough love and

compassion for that wounded bird.

I guess I should worry

about how to break this to Jack.

You can't tell Jack.

It would break the poor man's heart.

Rich. Hey, Rich, wake up.

Oh. Hi, Jack.

I want you to go on over to the hotel.

Tell Chaney I sent you.

He'll put it on my account.

- I don't wanna take your money.

- I'll tell you somethin'.

I got my business and most

of my money from my father.

- The least I can do is to give something back.

- No, I'll be fine, Jack.

- I just need another ten minutes.

- No, come on. You do as I say, all right?

Go clean yourself up. Come see me in the

morning and we'll talk about gettin' you a job.

- Thanks, Jack.

- Hey, gimme that.

Keep marching. I'll have my brother Jimmy

come back and check on you later, all right?

- Hey, Jack.

- Hey, how you doin', Gina?

I'm great, I'm great.

Look, I was wondering if maybe me and you

could go to the diner, grab some coffee.

- You know, like old times.

- Oh, Gina, I'd love to.

- Yeah?

- But, as you know,

I'm engaged to be married this week.

I'd hate to embarrass my bride-to-be.

Yeah, well, actually your bride-to-be

was gonna be the topic of conversation.

I had this picture on my cell wall.

It was my hope for the future.

See, everybody else had pictures

of their wives and their girlfriends.

This was my reason for gettin' out.

You had a picture of a car on your wall?

Damn, Jimmy! Did you beat off to it?

Hell, no!

I spanked it to that baby right there.

This is the only car in the world

that makes me flex my love muscle.

- Jimmy loves you.

- Jimmy, get off the car.

I was just givin' it a full body dust.

- Just try not to spooge on it.

- Spooge on it!

Shut up.

Listen, Jimmy. I got a security problem

I want you to deal with.

His name's Gilbert. Jo's brother.

I didn't know Jo had a brother.

Some families have brothers

they don't like to talk about.

Just make sure he disappears, all right?

- Done and done.

- Jimmy...

Feel free to rough him up a little bit.

Excuse me, sir. Hi.

A friend of mine has a salon here in town.

Her name is Jo Wingfield.

- I don't suppose...

- Yeah. She works at Beaver Cuts.

You just take a left on Main, you go

down about three blocks on the right.

In fact, I just went by there on my lunch break

and I saw Jo in the window.

Great. OK, thanks a bunch.

- Sure. Yeah. Say hi to Jo for me.

- I will, for sure.

Hey, buddy. You know where

a fella gets a beer around here?

I'm sorry. I'm not from around here. I was...

Damn right you ain't from around here!

Come on, Freddy, let's go!

Hey, Jack.

- Somethin' you wanna tell me, Jo?

- Is something bothering you?

I know about...

about you and... your brother.

Oh, God.

Dammit!

- I'm sorry.

- Sorry?

I'm the one who should be sorry, Jo.

You poor thing. It's not your fault.

You had no way of knowing

he was your brother.

It's like a Greek tragedy.

I think about it, it breaks my heart.

And how devastating it must have been

for you. For both of you.

God, that poor guy!

- I'm sorry, Jo.

- Oh, Jack!

Senor! Mister!

Can I have your peanuts, porfavor?

Los cacahuates. Andele.

- Sure.

- Gracias.

Please put your seats to the upright position

in preparation for our arrival

in Puerto Vallarta.

# Louie Louie

# Oh, no

# We gotta go

# Ay-ay-ay-ay

I don't get it. Why can't I

stay at Jack's house with you?

You don't get it? What, did your

adoptive mother drop you on your head?

No one can see you till after the wedding.

Until then, your job is to find Gilly Noble

and keep him out of the way.

Bye, Dad.

- Valdine, slow down.

- Shut up, Walter!

- Christ!

- Have fun!

Jack?

- Look at my hard worker.

- Honey, why are you home?

I closed the shop early so I could

get some of the wedding chores done.

Great. Take that cute little

dress off and come on in.

No, I gotta get some things done.

Tell you what. While you're out there, pick

your mom up somethin' nice for her arrival.

That's sweet, Jack.

Now scoot before I pull you in here with me.

Take your time, why don't you!

Come here.

Jack! My future son-in-law!

- Look at you.

- Oh, my! It's been a long time.

I'm so excited about the wedding.

- Ouch.

- Sorry.

Watch it, jerk-off!

I'm gonna get ya. I'm gonna get both of ya.

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