Say It Isn't So Page #7

- Get your hands up!

Was your truck. Mine now.

Oh. It looks really nice.

She's my home now.

So technically

you're standin' on my front lawn.

Back your ass up off my property

and into them woods.

OK, Streak. Just take it easy.

You shouldn't have cheated me

on those panties. Gimme back my stuff!

OK. Just relax. Everything's all right.

The pictures and the underwear

and everything. See?

- I'll take that too.

- That's my ring!

It's my ring now, pretty boy. Why don't you

turn around? We're gonna take a nature walk.

Streak, come on now.

I gave you everything you wanted.

And do you, Josephine Wingfield, take this

man to be your lawfully wedded husband?

I do.

And do you, Jack Mitchelson, take this

woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?

I do.

If anyone amongst you can show just cause

why these two should not be

joined in holy matrimony,

speak now or forever hold your peace.

- So, with the power vested in me...

- Stop.

Sorry. It's the machine.

It malfunctions when the battery's low.

Just go right ahead.

She's... in love with...

Here we go. Problem solved.

There. Just go on.

I now pronounce you blah-blah-blah.

Very well.

I now pronounce you man and wife.

You may kiss the bride.

Well, what do we got here? Gilly Noble.

Look at you tasty beauty, you.

You ain't gonna mess up

my sister's wedding, you pervert!

Here's my wedding present, Mama!

- Is Daddy all right?

- Yes. It's just all the excitement.

He'd love to join you, but he's not up to it.

One, two,

three...

I'd like to propose a toast.

A toast to my baby girl, to little Jo,

who has finally found the man of her dreams,

a man that is not only the...

Cops?

See ya!

What's goin' on?

Sorry to bother you, Jack.

Mrs Mitchelson, I'm afraid

we have some... bad news.

Your brother - Gilly. There's been an accident.

His truck... blew up.

Body was burned

beyond recognition, ma'am.

By the time we got to the scene, coyotes

had torn off some of the major body parts.

- They even ate his...

- Gina!

I think that's enough description

of the deceased for right now.

- Okey-dokey.

- Are you sure?

Are you sure that it was Gilly?

We found this ring on his finger bone,

with your names inscribed on it.

I scooped up what I could. Ashes, mostly.

Put 'em in my Thermos.

Thought you might like to

keep 'em for a remembrance.

He killed himself. I know it!

- It's all my fault.

- No, that is not true, ma'am.

Your brother is in that Thermos

on account of a fella I have in custody here.

All right, boys. Bring him out.

Leon?

- Did you say "Leon"?

- Mama!

I was just followin' him! It was an accident!

I didn't mean to bump his car,

and then it exploded.

He's your brother, Jo.

- Walter!

- Your real brother.

- Daddy?

- We hid the truth from you

because Valdine wanted

a crack at Jack's money

and, Lord help me, so did I.

So are you sayin' that Gilly was never

my brother? How could you do that to me?

We did it for your own good.

He was a dog-catcher.

You're crazy! You're just crazy, OK?

- I'm sorry, Jack.

- No.

- I'm just very confused right now.

- No, don't apologise to him.

- He set the whole thing up.

- That's a lie!

Ask him if the name Vic Vetter rings a bell.

- Shut up, Walter.

- Jack sent Vic false information about Gilly.

You tell her, Valdine. You tell her the truth.

What are you talkin' about?

You're sick! You're f***ing sick!

I hope you all make one big happy family.

Just don't include me.

- Walter, you goddamn idiot! Look at you!

- She deserves a better life.

- How dare you ruin my wedding?

- Blow me.

You did this! I'm gonna kill you!

Son of a b*tch! I'm gonna kill you!

Mama! Mom!

- Ma'am!

- Mama?

Gina, better call them ambulance boys.

We got a 911 over at the Mitchelson estate.

We need an ambulance ASAP.

It looks like a possible coronary,

or some sort of jiggling...

Holy sh*t!

- It's the ghost of El Paso past!

- Hi, Dig.

"Hi, Dig" sh*t! I thought you was barbecue!

- So everybody thinks I'm dead.

- I thought you were, myself. Campisi too.

I guess it's probably all for the better.

Now Jo can really get on with her life here.

I've no idea how I'm gonna get home.

Dig McCaffrey, at your service.

"I'll fly up your ass if the money's right".

I can't believe you put it on.

That's good, huh?

- Are you serious?

- It's the least I can do

after whalin' on your truck

with a sledgehammer.

Oh, sh*t. Come on, El Paso.

The bird's out front and all gassed up.

What you gonna do?

- Let's light that firecracker.

- You bet your ass.

O noble creature

The time has come

For the two of us to part

And for you to go to a better place

A place deep inside my heart

- Gilly, deep down, I always did believe you.

- I know that, Larry, and I do appreciate it.

If you don't mind,

I'll sneak you in the back door.

Jo? Hey, is that Jo?

Oh, my God! Jo!

Jo!

And fetch the stick that's thrown by God

No!

Gilly?

Jo!

Oh, my God.

Jo, I thought you killed yourself.

I was just givin' you the one-gun salute.

I can't believe you're alive!

Now, Valdine, don't be so sad. You're not

losin' a daughter here. You're gainin' a son.

Blow it out your ass, Walter.

Hey, Gilly. Hey, Jo.

First of all, congratulations on your nuptials.

- I wanna wish you much happiness.

- Thanks, Vic, but we got guests.

I know you got guests,

but I got some good news.

I found your mother.

Your real mother this time.

Free of charge. I got signatures,

I got documents, DNA evidence.

- I don't know, Vic.

- Listen to me, Gilly.

She flew all the way

from California to meet you.

My baby!

My precious gift from God!

Suzanne Somers is my mother?

Gilly, didn't you used to...

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