Scent of a Woman

I wish you wouldn't do that around me.

It's so filthy !

- Don't give me a problem

about the cigarettes.

- It's such a filthy habit.

Oh, my God !

Look at this.

Oh, Jesus !

This is so appalling !

I can't believe it !

I can't believe

they gave it to him.

Ah, this is pathetic !

Now he's a loser

with a Jaguar.

Seriously, who did he have to blow

to get that thing ?

- Good morning, sir.

- Mr. Willis.

- It's really, uh,

- Mr. Trask !

quite a piece

of machinery.

- Good morning, Havemeyer.

- Morning to you, sir.

- Bene !

- Bene ?

- Bene ! Fabulous !

- What's fabulous ?

That fine piece of steel

you have back there.

Ah, you don't think

I deserve it.

No, sir. On the contrary.

I think it's great.

Should the headmaster of Baird be seen

putt-putting around in some junker ?

In fact, I think the

board of trustees have had...

their first, true stroke

of inspiration in some time.

Thank you, Havemeyer.

I'll take that at face value.

I'd expect

nothing less, sir.

Have a good day.

- Morning, Mrs. Hunsaker.

- Good morning.

What have we here,

Murderer's Row ?

- What was that about ?

- Nothing. Just saying hello.

I like to say hello

to Headmaster Trask.

Sugarbush. Lift tickets and

condo vouchers.

- I thought we were goin' to Stowe.

- Sugarbush is Stowe, Jimmy.

We're doing it right. Thanksgiving

in Vermont, Christmas in Switzerland --

-Christmas in Gstaad is gonna cost us --

-'Staad.

The "G" is silent.

'Staad. George ?

- 'Staad.

- Trent ?

- 'Staad, man.

- So what about 'Staad ?

Fine. The "G" may be silent,

but it's gonna take at least

three grand to get there.

- I'll talk to my father.

- Better yet, have my father

talk to your father.

Or my father

talk to your father.

You goin' home

this weekend, Chas ?

Uh, I don't know.

You goin' home to f***in' Idaho

for Thanksgiving ?

I'm from Oregon.

I meant f***in' Oregon.

-Charlie, how do you feel about skiing ?

-[ Laughing ]

You in the mood for

the white-bosomed slopes of Vermont ?

Got a deal going.

My father set it up.

Christmas in Switzerland.

- 'Staad.

- Gstaad. Dropping the "G" is phony.

- You said everybody says 'Staad.

- Not if you've been there.

Easter in Bermuda,

then Kentucky Derby weekend.

We could fit you in, kid.

Well, how much are

these white-bosomed slopes of Vermont ?

Twelve hundred !

Includes a nine-course,

champagne thanksgiving dinner.

$1200 is a little rich

for my blood, Harry.

Well, how short

are you ?

How short, Harry ?

So short it wouldn't be worth the

trouble of you and George to measure.

- But, thanks for askin', all right ?

- Mm-hmm.

- If you change your mind --

- What'd you do that for ?

You know he's on aid.

On major holidays, Willis, it's

customary for the lord of the manor...

- to offer drippings to the poor.

- You're so full of sh*t !

- Hi. Mrs. Rossi ?

- Yes ?

I'm here about

the weekend job.

Come on in.

[ Children Chattering ]

Does he got pimples ?

He hates pimples.

Francine, be quiet.

Pimples. Pimples.

Yeah.

Shush !

I'm sorry.

- The school gave me your name,

but I've forgotten it.

- It's Charlie Simms.

- How are you, Charlie ?

- Fine, thanks.

Right this way.

- You're available the whole weekend ?

- Uh, yeah.

- Not going home for Thanksgiving ?

- No.

[ Mrs. Rossi ]

Good.

They put him in a veteran's home,

but he hated it,

so I told my dad

that we'd take him.

Before you go in, do you mind

my telling you a few things ?

Don't "sir" him and don't ask him

too many questions.

And if he staggers a little when

he gets up, don't pay any attention.

[ Sigh ] Charlie, I can tell you're

the right person for the job.

and Uncle Frank's

gonna like you a lot too.

Uh, where you gonna be

this weekend ?

We're driving to Albany.

Donny, my husband,

has family there.

- Do you want Tommy in or out ?

- [ Man ] Leave him out !

He's chasin' that Calico ginch

from the track houses again !

Down deep, the man

is a lump of sugar.

- Sir ?

- Don't call me sir !

I-I'm sorry.

I mean mister, sir.

Uh-oh, we got a moron here,

is that it ?

No, mister --

Uh, that is --

Uh, Lieutenant.

Yes, sir, Lieu--

Lieutenant Colonel.

busted me four grades before.

Get in here,

you idiot !

Come a little closer. I wanna get a

better look at ya.

How's your skin, son ?

My skin, sir ?

- Oh, for Christ's sake.

- I'm sorry, I don--

Just call me Frank.

Call me Mr. Slade.

Call me Colonel, if you must.

Just don't call me sir.

All right, Colonel.

Simms, Charles.

A senior.

- You on student aid, Simms ?

- Uh, yes, I am.

For "student aid"

read "crook."

Your father peddles car telephones

at a 300% markup.

Your mother works on heavy commission

in a camera store.

Graduated to it

from espresso machines.

Hah-hah !

What are you, dying of

some wasting disease ?

No, I'm right --

I'm right here.

I know exactly where

your body is.

What I'm lookin' for

is some indication of a brain.

Too much football

without a helmet ?

Hah ! Lyndon's line

on Gerry Ford.

Deputy Debriefer,

Paris Peace Talks, '68.

Snagged the Silver Star

and a silver bar. Threw me into G-2.

G-2 ?

Intelligence,

of which you have none.

[ Yelling ]

Where you from ?

Um, Gresham, Oregon,

s-- Colonel.

What does your daddy do

in Gresham, Oregon ?

Hmm ? Count wood chips ?

Uh, my stepfather and my mom

run a convenience store.

- How convenient ! What time they open ?

- 5:
00 A.M.

- Close ?

- 1:
00 A.M.

Hard workers.

You got me all

misty-eyed !

So, what are you doin' here

in this sparrow-fart town ?

I, l--

I attend Baird.

Attend Baird !

I know you go

to the Baird school.

Point is,

how do you afford it,

even with the student aid and

the folks back home hustlin' corn nuts ?

[ Sigh ] I won a, uh,

Young America merit scholarship.

Whoo-ah !

?Glory, glory

Hallelujah ?

?Glory, glory

Hallelujah ?

- [ Knocking ]

- Who's there ?

- [ Knocking ]

- That little piece of tail ?

Get her outta here !

[ Girl Giggling ]

Yeah.

Can't believe

they're my blood.

I.Q. of sloths and

the manners of banshees.

He's a mechanic,

she's a homemaker.

He knows as much about cars

as a beauty queen,

and she bakes cookies,

taste like wing nuts.

As for the tots,

they're twits.

How's your skin, son ?

I like my aides to be presentable.

Well, I --

I've had a few zits.

Um, but my roommate, he lent me

his Clinique because he's from --

"The History of My Skin,"

by Charles Simms.

You patronizing me,

peewee ? Hmm ?

You givin' me that old

prep school palaver ?

Baird School !

A bunch of runny-nosed snots

in tweed jackets...

all studyin'

to be George Bush.

Well...

I believe President Bush

went to Andover, Colonel.

You sharpshootin' me, punk ?

Is that what you're doin' ?

Don't you

sharpshoot me !

You'll give me forty.

Then you're gonna give me

forty more.

Then you're gonna pull K.P.,

the grease pit !

I'll rub your nose

in enlisted men's crud...

till you don't know which end is up !

You understand ?

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