Sea of Love

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Oh, baby.

Okay?

I can't...

Is this okay?

IDs, fellas.

Invites, guys, invites.

Invites and IDs, guys.

Invites and IDs.

IDs, fellas.

Invites and IDs, fellas.

Welcome to the Yankees.

All right, have a good breakfast.

Go ahead. Go on in, young man.

Welcome to the third annual

"Meet the Yankees" breakfast.

Have a seat, fellas.

The Yankees will be here

in a few minutes.

How you guys doing?

Yo, bro. Where are the Yankees at?

They're coming.

You a Yankee?

- You don't recognise me?

- Shortstop?

- Used to be.

- What?

Sure.

Holy cow!

- I thought so.

- You're the Scooter!

Yo, Efram,

this dude is Phil Rizzuto.

Do that again.

Holy cow!

How come you're pouring us juice?

How we get to the game after?

I ain't got no car.

- We got you covered.

- Word. Yanks up in here?

- Yeah.

- All right. Bust it out.

Yo, Scooter.

I'm good.

Go ahead,

get yourself something to eat.

I got some good news,

and I got some bad news.

Which you want to hear first?

Good news, good news!

F*** that.

Give up the bad news, homeboy.

Bad news wins.

The Yanks can't make it here, guys.

You can't make it

over to the stadium.

We got 45 outstanding warrants

eating our pancakes here.

On behalf of the New York Yankees...

and the New York City Career

Criminals Investigation Unit...

you are all under arrest.

Sorry, guys. We got you.

- What's the good news?

- Good news is coming around.

Excuse me.

I'd like to propose a toast.

Hold it.

To Detective Frank Keller...

on today,

his 20th anniversary on the job.

I can't believe you're not retiring.

I get 20 years and a wake-up call,

and I'm history.

Take half my pay...

Open a motel,

a bar, a polygraph school...

I'm going to be 46 years old

in some alley...

sticking my pencil in some

dead skull looking for a bullet?

Nothing wrong with motels.

I'll visit you.

I'll get you plenty of towels.

Anyway, congratulations.

Am I too late?

Got an invitation?

Yeah.

Who's this?

That's my son.

Ernest Lee,

the invitation's for you only.

I can hardly meet Dave Winfield

without taking my boy.

You got ID, Ernest?

Yeah.

Grand theft auto...

two counts.

We're all booked up, Ernest.

- I got an invite.

- I said we're all booked up.

- Thanks, man.

- Catch you later.

Gruber.

Frank Keller.

How you doing?

I wake you?

Could I speak with my wife, please?

Yeah, my ex-wife.

Denise. How you doing?

I wake you?

I'm sorry. Listen.

I gotta talk to you.

I think...

I got appendicitis.

Hello?

Mr. Mackey!

Mr. Mackey?

Thank you, chief.

Where's it at?

Anybody talk to you?

No one of weight.

No one of weight?

You ever on the job?

Me?

I'm just a square badge.

I was in Korea, though.

I could have sworn

you were on the job.

Listen, I'll come down.

We'll talk later, okay?

I'm of weight.

"You ever on the job?"

Oh, sh*t.

It's called making

people feel good...

so they'll cooperate with you.

You should try it sometime.

I'm sorry about that

phone thing last night.

I'm having a mid-life crisis.

I don't want you calling

at 3:
00 a.m. Anymore.

You want to talk to Denise,

call at decent hours.

Decent hours? What's that?

Dinnertime? 8:
00 p.m.?

I can't believe those guys.

You never saw Joe Louis.

In the bedroom.

Joe Louis?

Where did you see him?

Way before you were born,

in Chicago.

They called him The Brown Bomber.

He was gorgeous.

You want to take the lady outside?

Getting a little crowded in here.

And your prints, too, chief.

What's this guy's name?

James...

Mackey.

Mack the Knife.

You know...

when she was married to me...

I was never gonna die.

We fight, we split...

she goes to you.

So it goes. Life is forever, right?

What do I care?

I passed my 20 yesterday.

Everybody says retire...

so...

I feel kind of mortal

all of a sudden.

Know what I mean?

I say this guy's dead 48 hours.

No.

Look at the lividity.

It's more like 36.

Smells like 48.

Smells like 36.

I was just trying to get

some attention.

You know?

I apologise.

It was just...

we're in the same squad...

six years.

We don't so much as

have a beer together.

How the hell

do you take my wife away?

I didn't take nobody nowhere.

You understand?

You didn't treat her right.

She walked.

I didn't treat her right?

She walked!

You want to kick somebody's ass

about it, you kick your own.

Fuckface.

I'll check everybody out,

but truthfully...

it boils down to grabbing

the strange trim...

he got hooked up with.

This guy's

a swordsman extraordinaire.

Could be one of these ladies

gets pissed off...

because, you know, they're in bed...

he starts moaning "Mary"

instead of "Gladys."

"Hell hath no fury," and all that.

How do you know the trim is strange?

Maybe it's a steady.

Strange. You know how I know?

Records, 45s.

Nobody whips out their old 45s,

except on a first or second date...

when you're doing

"the wonder of me" thing.

Getting to know you.

So what do you do?

Take out old records, show the broad

you kept them all these years...

meaning you're a wonderful,

sentimental individual.

Who does that with

somebody they know already?

Once you know them,

who gives a sh*t?

How you doing, chief?

Working hard or hardly working?

Little of both. How you doing?

Okay.

You think of anybody else yet?

The mailman maybe

came by in the afternoon.

I don't remember.

There was a cable TV repair guy

here, I think.

What's that, Cable Time? Cable Tone?

But he was down in the basement.

Pretty much

what I told you yesterday.

What about ladies?

See any young ladies?

See any of them?

You told me there was a sex parade.

If I'm looking to see somebody

in particular, I'll see them.

If not, if I'm hailing a cab,

or in the package room...

Okay. We'll talk again.

So the emcee says

to the first husband:

"Where did your wife say...

"was the most exotic place

you ever made love to her?"

So this guy's thinking, right?

He's got a brain

like a friggin' pea...

but he's thinking.

Finally he says, "In the butt."

You get it?

Hey, anybody do any work

over at 365 West End Avenue Monday?

I was over there.

Did you see anybody over there,

not looking right?

You know, freaked out, scared?

Running, like, lost?

No, I saw a couple ladies

going to the laundry room.

Why? What happened?

There was a shooting.

If you remember,

you want to give me a call?

Yeah, sure.

Thank you very much.

So good.

Please.

Excuse me.

A toast for our host.

Ten promotions overdue.

Meet your detectives.

Tommy Squibb, detective third grade.

Felix King, detective third grade.

Dave Pines, detective third grade.

Hey, fellas!

Come on, I'm giving a toast here.

Tommy Squibb, detective third grade.

All right, George.

Where the hell did you learn that?

That's like watching a movie.

It keeps me fit.

I get in a beef with a guy, I hit

him fast, a lot, I'm out of there.

I don't like getting hurt.

God gave fat guys guns,

so we wouldn't have to do that.

You're Frank Keller?

- I'm Sherman Touhey from the 112.

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