Secrets & Lies

That's it. Okay.

Oh, yeah. That's really great.

Yeah, yeah.

Okay, now as I said before,

you're under no obligation to me.

You can, if you want to,

give me a tiny, little twinkle.

Yeah.

That is... lovely.

Right. A bit closer.

Now, don't you worry.

You'll be all right.

Hair's just a little bit...

That's it.

And you've got an eyelash

on your nose.

We don't want it. Supposed to be

on your eye, not on your snitch.

Ah. See? You have a lovely smile

when you smile, haven't you?

Right. Okay. Now you keep

that lovely, gorgeous smile.

That's lovely.

I think that'll do for the time being.

Well done, Sara.

That's the easy bit.

They make a noise,

don't they?

Least they can play

out around here.

Suppose so.

- What is it?

- Is that a suit?

It came as a combination.

They go together?

Well, if you think they do, they do,

and if you think they don't, they don't.

It's nice.

Oh, Jesus Christ Almighty!

Twenty-one in August.

- She is.

- I used to worry meself sick when she played out.

- She survived it, though, didn't she?

- All things considering.

- She's back on the streets now.

- I beg your pardon?

- Well, she is, isn't she?

- I don't half miss her.

I know.

How long is it

since we've seen her?

Two and a half years.

- We could always ask her over.

- I'd like to.

For her birthday?

It's only a couple of months away.

What now?

"Hey, Roxanne,

what you doing for your 21 st?"

"I'm going over to my auntie

and uncle's house for my birthday treat."

It was only a suggestion.

She's probably

doing her own thing.

I suppose we'd have to

invite Cynthia as well.

There's no show without Punch.

- I'm sure she'd like to see the place.

- Oh, I'm sure she would.

- She can't help it.

- Can't she?

It's about time

you showed it off.

- I mean, you've done a lovely job.

- I think so.

I really must get down

to see her.

- You speak to her on the phone, don't you?

- It's not the same though, is it?

She's your sister.

I'm really proud

of that portrait.

Bet that's the last time

she ever smiled.

I don't know

what's got into you lately.

- You complaining?

- No.

Well, shut up then.

Sit here on me own for years on end.

Can't get you to stop in at all.

- Now you never go out.

- Leave it out.

You've been sitting there for a month

with a face like a slapped horse.

Well, what's there

to smile about?

Thought he might have phoned

at the weekend.

- Who?

- Who do you think?

- Ain't heard from him for ages.

- He's busy, ain't he?

- We're all busy.

- He's got his weddings and that. It's the summer.

Out of sight, out of mind.

Well, if you're that bothered, why don't you

ring him yourself? He's your brother.

I'm not running up

me phone bill.

He knows where I am

if he wants me.

He'd have had us up there to see it by now,

I expect, if it weren't for her.

Toffy-nosed cow.

What's he want

with six bedrooms anyway?

What's all your mates

doing tonight then?

I don't know.

I ain't asked 'em.

You wanna get yourself a bloke.

That's what you wanna do.

I told you

I don't wanna get anything.

I'm quite happy here,

thank you very much.

When I was your age, I could've

had the pick of the crop.

Well, why didn't you?

Because I lost my poor mother,

that's why.

- Oh, here we go.

- I was stuck at home...

from the age of 10 looking after Maurice

and your granddad.

Yeah, we know.

Then I got saddled with you.

That was my downfall, darling.

- I didn't ask to be born.

- No, and I never asked to have you neither.

Well, you should have thought about that

before you dropped your knickers!

- With... or without?

- I think without.

- Without? Okay.

- Yeah.

What about this one?

Better with or without?

- I think this time it's with.

- With? All right.

We'll pop this one in then.

- I hear you're a really good runner.

- Yeah. Cross-country.

- Have you won anything?

- Not yet.

- I've only just started.

- Okay. Now look up again.

Now, this is gonna blur a bit, but just

tell me what you can read, okay?

"H, L, A...

- C, T."

- Right.

And I can't read anymore.

Okay. That's good.

Very good.

I'm gonna do your other eye now.

- Yeah, she was.

- Yeah, course she was.

I'd have been proud.

- You off then?

- Yeah.

- Got any plans for the weekend?

- I've got to go to my mum's house

and sort through her things.

- Oh, okay. Hope it goes all right.

- Yeah.

- Well, it's gotta be done.

- Yeah.

- Okay then.

- I'll see you on Monday.

- Yeah. Have a nice weekend.

- Cheers.

- Ooh. Enjoy the christening.

- I'll try.

- Okay. Bye.

- Bye.

- What are you talking about?

- I got 10 minutes.

Listen. We've got to

sort this out while we're here.

Face it, Leroy.

It's you one here in this massive house.

Thank you. We have got two children.

You understand?

- And we could have more. We wanna have more.

- What?

Listen, right? You can't stay here

on your own. It's not fair, is it?

I mean, we can sell the house, can't we?

Sell the house and split the money.

- You could split this whole house in two.

- We could sell the house.

We could split it into two flats

and it'd still be bigger than...

We could split it into two, possibly into three.

Well, there you are then.

Sort your tie out for you,

if I might.

- Looks just a little bit skewered there.

- Oh, skewered again.

There. That's lovely.

Can I have the paper?

- Yep. Okay.

- Oh, right.

You two ladies look gorgeous.

That's splendid.

Put your hands together.

There you are. Really nice.

Okay. Here we go.

Right down there.

Right. And here we go.

Okay and...

- Do we say, "Cheese," Maurice?

- Well, you can if you like.

But you can.

You can say, "Cheese".

You can say whatever you like,

but just give me a little bit... Perfect!

- Aaah!

- Ah, yeah. Very sweet.

Okay. That's lovely.

- So it took you 15 years, eh?

- Yes.

- Did they give you a prize?

- No.

Not even a stethoscope? Lovely.

Ooh. The baby.

- Yeah. That's really lovely.

- I'm so glad he's got his eyes open.

Yeah. That's it. Yeah. That's it.

And give him a look down. Lovely!

Are you gonna

see that flea collar?

- You gonna see that?

- Don't worry about that.

You come out then. Come out.

- Hang on. That's it.

- You just come out the way.

Uh, pop out now.

Come out. And here we go.

I think I got the comb in there

that time.

- Lovely. Very good.

- Ohhh.

- Does he look good?

- He does look good.

- Oh, good. Yeah, yeah.

- So do you. Thank you very much, Jane.

That's lovely.

- It's for my auntie.

- Oh, what, fond of you, is she?

- No. She's in India.

- Oh, right.

- Time I got married, isn't it?

- Oh, I see.

"Pick a bride" time,

is it?

I told you,

I don't want flashy.

And... lovely!

I never thought

I'd have any.

Fertility treatment.

It's a miracle.

Don't do that with your nose.

Now stop it. Put it there.

Hello. Look at that lovely cat.

Look over there.

- Look. It's lovely!

- Look at that cat.

- Oh, I see. Then scratch it first.

- No!

Go on. That's it.

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