Seven Days' Leave Page #2

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Alfie sent me his photo!

Letters from Salo-ne-iki

is that common!

Kenneth writes to me every week!

Look at these! All him.

Alfie has little time for

writing, being a bombardier!

Do your letters begin, "Dear Mother"?

Generally -Invariable

Every time!

Kenneth's begin "Dearest mother"!

A short man I should

say, judging by yourself.

He's six foot two and a half!

A kiltie, did you tell me?

-Lord, ain't you heard that afore?

I thought all London

knew that -Most certainly.

He's in the famous black watch!

We can't all be kilties!

-That's very true!

Has your Kenneth got great hairy legs?

Tremendous!

Won't you read us some

of his letters, Mrs Dowey?

They're very private to me,

Mrs Haggerty I'd rather not.

I tell you sir some of these replacements

are a disgrace to the regiment!

It's almost certain that

Dowey's wound was self-inflicted!

That's a very serious charge to bring

against any soldier! -You know it's true

His record in the

army hasn't been good,

and from all I can learn it

was worse in civilian life!

And he's too cagey to

let us find him out!

Still there must be

something within the man!

I've made up my mind that there's

only one thing to try with him.

Orderly!

Send in Private Dowey! -Yes sir!

Private Dowey!

Here, hold it.

Say you already think you're

going to get that leave, do you?

Watch me!

Can you imagine the nerve of that

fellow Dowey asking for seven days leave?

After what he's done?

He'll be lucky if he doesn't

get seven years in jail!

That won't bother him, he's been

there a couple of times before

I know a fellow in Canada

told me all about him.

So how's the wound? -Private Dowey!

As a wounded soldier you have applied

for leave in London! -Yes, sir.

You know of course that there has been

some reason to believe your

wound was self-inflicted!

And you know that if this could be

proven, you not only would get no leave,

but you'd be severely disciplined!

Well, in spite of this fact,

and in spite of your record,

I am going to have faith in

you and grant you this leave.

I know that in return you will prove

yourself worthy of the regiment.

Thank you sir.

Lot of impression that'll have on him!

I'll bet you a fiver he

doesn't even come back!

Seven days in Blighty! You lucky swine!

Say, you might bring us a couple

of blondes when you come back!

Yes, I might. Don't hold your

breath waiting for me to come back!

Hey!

Well, that goes right out...

You don't understand

properly trench warfare.

Now, if I had a map...

That's the river 'Somm-ay'!

-If we had barrages here,

Pretty soon you'll be invalided.

Where's your supports, my lady?

What none of you seems to

grasp is, this is artillery war!

And over there

in Salo-ne-iki!

I thought we'd closed

that subject days ago!

Oh Mrs Dowey! You have a visitor!

-I wonder who it could be!

It's the Reverend

Mr Willings? Oh! -I'd say

he's had his boots cleaned!

Won't you have some tea? -No,

I thank you friend. I have news!

News? -From the front?

My Alfie, sir? -I'll tell you at once,

that all is well. My

news is for Mrs Dowey.

News? For me?

Your son, Mrs Dowey, is

on leave, in London! -Who?

Son!

You're... sure? -Quite

sure. He has arrived!

He's... in London?

I have spoken to him!

It... it was quite a romance,

ladies. I was in the...

church army choir, when

suddenly my eyes, I'd had a cold,

but suddenly, my eyes

alighted upon... a Highlander!

A big man? -Oh, a great brawny fellow

Name?

Dowey!

Then, I placed my hand on his

shoulder as it might be, there.

No, it was the other shoulder.

Kenneth Dowey, I said,

I know your mother!

What... did he say to that?

-Oh, he seemed incredulous!

In fact he seemed to

think that I was... barmy!

Then I offered to bring him here!

Bring him... here?

I'd wonder he needed to be brought!

Oh, he had only just arrived and

he was bewildered by the great city!

Is he coming?

Oh, he has come. He is up there!

I told him that I thought I had

better come and break the joyful news!

Kindly get them to go away!

Ladies, I think this happy

occasion scarcely requires you!

I also am going instantly.

I'd thank none for their company

if my Alfie was at the door!

A good son, Mrs Dowey, to

have written to you so often!

There she is, Dowey my friend, waiting

for you, with your letters in her hand!

Don't you recognise

your loving son, Mrs?

I'm pleased I wrote so

often. Let's see those!

Nothing but blank paper!

Is this your writing in

pencil on the envelope?

Where'd you get em?

I'm a charwoman. I picked the

envelopes out a wastepaper basket,

and changed the addresses.

Don't you burn them letters,

Mister! -They're not real letters!

They're all I have

I thought you had a son!

I never had a son, nor a husband...

nor anything.

I just call myself Mrs,

to give me a standing.

Well!

You're past my seeing-through!

What made you do it?

It was everybody's war, except

mine. I wanted it to be my war, too.

You'll need to be plainer. Yet

I'm blamed if I care to listen

to you, you lying old trickster!

-You're not going, already!

Yes. I just came to give

you an ugly piece of my mind!

But you haven't given it to

me yet! -You have a cheek!

You wouldn't drink some tea? -Me?

I tell you I came here for the

one purpose of blazing away at you!

You could drink some tea

while you were blazing away!

Now then out with it! Sit down!

Go on, you old sinner!

It's true that my name is Dowey!

-Enough to make me change mine!

I've been charring and charring

as far back as I can mind!

I've been in London these 20 years!

Well, skip your early

days! -And then...

When I was old, the war broke out.

How could that affect

you? -That's it mister!

It didn't affect me! It

affected everybody but me!

The neighbours looked down on me.

Even the poster on the wall, of

the mother saying, "Go, my boy!",

leered at me...

Sometimes I cried to

myself in the dark!

You wouldn't have a cup of tea? -No!

Sudden-like, the idea came

to me, to pretend I had a son!

Why you old criminal!

What in the name of Old Nick, made you

choose me out of the whole British Army?

Maybe... it was because

I liked you the best!

Now, now, woman!

One day, I read in the

newspaper, look what it says here!

In which he was assisted,

by Private K. Dowey,

42nd Highlanders, Black Watch.

Well... I expect that's the only

time I was ever in the papers!

I didn't choose you for that alone. I

read a history of the Black Watch first,

to make sure it was the

best regiment in the world.

Anybody could have told you that!

I like the Scotch voice on you, woman!

Frozen water runs by where I was born.

Maybe you'd teach me to speak, Mister?

How did you guess the K in my

name stood for Kenneth? -Does it?

An angel must have whispered

it to me, in my sleep!

Well, that's the only angel

in this whole black business!

You didn't thought I would turn up!

Well did you?

I was beginning to weary

for a sight of ye...

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