Seven Days' Leave Page #4

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Only threepence a bunch!

Oh, don't they smell lovely?

I love violets!

Don't you Kenneth? -I hope we

haven't missed the acrobats!

Smell them lady. Ain't they

gorgeous? And only threepence a bunch!

They'd go well with my

marino, don't you think?

And only threepence a bunch!

Oh, in your dear, braw, bunnet...

There you are, they're

all hot! All hot and meaty!

Who says a hot potato?

Only a penny! -Darn!

Why do I have to make it...

You know, I think I had

mine last time I saw them...

It was a good show -The acrobats!

Who's with that tall man in his...

Mother, you are the

greatest of all mothers...

Everything is over now...

Finished!

A wonderful work of art, sir!

So, Lady. We haven't done half

the things you wanted to do yet!

Oh, but Kenneth, it's getting so late!

Well, none of that now! -We

can go to some more tomorrow!

Huh? Not on your life? We're

going to the skating rink!

Oh, Kenneth, really, I have forgotten

how to skate! -You suggested it!

I guess you're getting tired already!

-Indeed I'm not, Kenneth Dowey

Well, alright, you really

don't want to skate!

I'd say we've got all evening, if...

Hey!

Where you going? -To see that

you get safe in bed, Kenneth!

Oh no you don't. I...

-Oh, don't talk nonsense!

I've waited too long

to tuck my boy in bed,

you needn't think I'm going

to give up the chance now!

Get in there and undress yourself!

Hurry up, now!

Getting your bed ready!

Throw out your things,

as you take them off...

I'll hang them up!

This reminds me of old times...

What old times?

The times... when I used to pretend

I was putting my son Kenneth to bed.

Old lady, you're daft! -Daft?

Many's the time I spanked

him for saying less than that!

Shut your eyes!

Turn around!

Now I'm in bed!

Oh! What bonny big

feet you have, Kenneth!

Sleep well! -I will!

Hey! Where are you going with my boots!

I'm going to clean them! -Oh no you

don't! You bring them right back here!

Kenneth Dowey, I have a perfect

right to clean my son's boots!

You come right back here I tell

you! -Good night dear Kenneth!

Here's luck, old gal!

Between you and me Amelia,

the spoiling of her!

Have you seen her new Astrakhan jacket?

He bought it for

her! -No! -Yes!

It has Venus sleeves,

and a muff to match!

Look, here comes that submarine!

Hello Ladies! -Hello!

Oh, ello -I suppose you ladies,

working like you do inside offices,

ain't got the same opportunity

of observing things like I have!

What things? -Things that happen on

Friday St and inside places of purchase!

Meaning just what, Mrs Haggerty?

If it concerns us

personal... -As mothers,

who have sons in the

service, it touches us all!

Then we have a right

to know, Mrs Haggerty!

I haven't quite made up my mind!

Mrs Haggerty, you've been

a-drinking! -No I ain't, I swear!

Not that I ain't thirsty!

Here they come!

Look at her! She struts about with him as

though the two of them made a procession

Oh look Kenneth! We have friends here!

Well you told us to meet here, didn't

you? To see the new coat he bought you!

And have a drink or two?

Alright!

What will you have to

drink, ladies? -Mine's gin!

Mine's beer, half and half!

-I'll have a small pot!

What are you going to

have, Kenneth? -Scotch!

I'll take the same.

The best you have!

And where away tonight, Mrs

Dowey? -Well I really don't know...

We've been most every place!

I suppose you'll be telling us next

you're going to dine at the Imperial!

Only swells eat at the Imperial!

Kenneth wants to take me there! But I've

done my best to discourage the idea...

Then we're going to Buckingham Palace,

and dine with the King and Queen!

Here's to you ladies!

Your health! -Looking at you!

It must be time you were thinking of

going back to the trenches, eh Mr...

What an indelicate question! -Kenneth

has several more days leave yet!

I was just sort of wondering if

he was going back! -Well I never!

Mrs Haggerty, I have to ask

you to explain that last remark!

We all ask you! -Yes,

that's what I asked myself,

when I saw him in a shop

looking at civilian clothes!

Well! Your eyesight must be

getting bad! -Mrs Haggerty!

You'll apologise for them

traitor's words! -Hold on, old lady!

Did you hear what she said,

Kenneth? -Yes, I heard what she said.

But she was mistaken!

Weren't you, Mrs Haggerty?

-I ain't one to admit...

You'll admit you was wrong!

-Come, come, ladies, stop it!

Or I'll have to kiss the whole

lot of you! -Ha ha, vain sod, you!

You kilties is the word!

-Well, here's health!

Finish your drink and I'll

get you something special!

I tell you they do! No.

No sir! A Scotchman don't

wear pants under his kilt!

Oh, what do they do on a windy

day? -I don't know what they do!

I know its army regulations!

I'll bet you a bob he don't!

-I'll bet you a bob he does!

I'll prove it. Come along! -Righto!

You're right!

Now, now matey don't get

excited. No offense meant!

What's the big idea? -Wait a minute

now... -You want to give us a go?

It's your Kenneth!

There, there!

Kenneth? I don't see him!

Kick him Kenneth! Kick

him! Go on! Bash him!

Give him a punch in the gob!

Where do you think you're going?

That's my business!

Cause he started it!

-Oh you did, did you?

Well I've a good mind to shove you in

the lockup! -Better than being in the army

What's that? You're a

disgrace to this uniform!

Uniform? You can have

the uniform! -What?

You heard me, I'm sick of it! You

can take it back any time you want!

You better come along with me!

Hey what's the idea?

It's a terrible war!

Oh wait a minute Kenneth, you

need to cool yourself off a bit!

You're not hurt are you? -No,

but I wish I'd broken his neck!

Kenneth! You're not...

You're not angry with me, are you?

No, not with you, with

those MPs! -I know!

You didn't mean those other

things you said, did you?

What other things? -Why about...

About the... the bonny uniform...

Didn't I? You bet I did!

I'm sick of the uniform, and the mud

in the trenches, and the fighting!

And everything about it!

-No, you don't mean it Kenny!

Don't I? You bet I mean

it! I'm fed up with it!

I have had enough of the

whole rotten business!

Kenny!

What's the matter?

To hear you talk like that... -What?

What's this old lady?

-You're a kiltie, Kenny!

I was so proud of you.

So proud of my boy!

Oh, so that's it is it? I told you I

was no great shakes at the war, didn't I?

My boy... in his uniform...

I was so proud of him.

Come come, it can't

mean that much to you!

Oh, it means everything to me Kenny!

Didn't I pick you out to be my boy,

because I read how fine, brave you were!

Here, here I was only fooling!

I didn't mean it!

Did you hear what I

said? I didn't mean it!

I'm thinking, maybe

Mrs Haggerty was right,

about you buying the civilian clothes!

Here, you don't believe that!

Why, what would I be wanting

with civilian clothes anyway?

Run away with? -Oh, Kenny!

Here, here.

If that's all that's

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