Seven Days' Leave Page #5

---

worrying you forget it.

You got to act better

than this, you know!

You're still on probation!

You're a fine one,

spoiling our whole evening!

Just when we're going

out to have a lot of fun!

Just when we're going

out to the Imperial, too!

Don't you want to go to the Imperial?

Oh come on. We'll... we'll have...

we'll have champagne! You like that!

Won't you?

And after that we'll... we'll keep our

appointment with the King and Queen!

Oh, now, let's sing!

Mrs Dowey's very ill, and nothing

can improve her... c'mon, sing!

But dressed up in a Paris gown, to

waddle through the Louvre! C'mon!

It's all in French!

Eh... Garcon, dis donc...

Par... parlez-vous

Francais, oui? -Yes, sir!

OK:

Ehh, avez-vous pour

le... Madame and eh... me,

ehh, n'est-ce pas? la?

Soup? -Soup.

Soup. -You couldn't have said a

thing like that unless you meant it!

Two soups. And, ehh, champagne!

-Champagne with soup, sir?

Yes! -What kind?

The best -Very good, sir.

How does that suit Your Ladyship?

Kenneth, I heard you

saying... -Eh? No, no, no

You're going to have more than

that to eat. There's, um...

Poulet. That's the French for chicken.

Poulet. Chicken. Funny, isn't it?

Where's the champagne?

-Uh, coming, sir.

Listen to the music

Doesn't that make you want to sing?

I'm sure it's very nice.

Very nice? Well, I should

hope so. This is the Imperial.

Better pop!

Well, old lady... here's to you!

You could give me one smile!

Drink the champagne!

Here. Take a sip of mine.

We'll make a loving couple.

Kenneth, how could

you say...? -Take it!

But my Kenneth... -All of it!

Talk like that? -All of it! All of it!

I told you I wouldn't want to...

hurt you.

But when you talk like that about a

soldier, you hurt me terrible, Kenneth.

The uniform. Oh, I love you in it.

It means so much to

me, and people like me.

It means that men like you are going to

war, to keep the war from coming to us!

If it means that much to you,

I'm sure I didn't mean it!

I do believe you are

fooling me all the time!

Put here.

Do you like the smell of that?

Don't it make your mouth water?

That's not beer you're drinking.

I'll bet you wish you were

having your fish and chips.

Oh Kenneth, look how it bubbles!

It sparkles like diamonds!

You uh...

care to waltz, with a soldier?

I could die waltzing with a soldier!

Let me escort you, Mrs Dowey!

Oh Kenny! I'm flying!

I'm flying!

- haha, no...

Don't forget to wake me up, Kenneth

So that I can tuck you in bed.

How are you, Mrs Haggerty?

Horrible. Me head's

opening and shutting

I haven't had so much

in since the Coronation!

Hello, Mrs Dowey!

-Good morning, ladies!

Did your Kenneth get

hurt last night? -Hurt?

Him? No, he knocked them all over!

And then we got hungry,

so we went to the Imperial.

The imperial? -And we

had a sit-down supper!

I swear we had Champagney wine!

Champagney wine!

And to anyone who doubts

my word, there's the cork!

I suppose you'll be telling us that

you're going for another taxi ride

this morning!

I don't think that's for us!

Whom might you be waiting for, sir?

I'm waiting for an idle soldier

who's going back to the front!

He told me to whistle

for him a half hour!

Time's almost up now!

Kenneth!

Where are you going?

Back.

But I thought you had more leave. You

told me... -I just made all that up.

I didn't want you to

be thinking about it.

Is it time?

No, no. The taxi driver's

going to whistle for me.

All is ended.

Now then.

The last time we talked

together, you promised to be gay.

We were going to help one another!

Yes, Kenneth

It's bad for me

But it's worse for you.

The men have medals to win, you see

-The women have their medals, too.

Come here.

No! I'll come to you.

Have you noticed you've never

called me son? -Have I noticed it?

You see, I was feared, Kenneth

You said I was on probation.

So you were. Well...

Probation's ended.

I'm not much to have, but if you

really want me you can have me.

Oh Kenneth, will I do?

Woman, don't be so forward!

You must wait till I

have proposed! -Proposed?

For a mother? -And why not?

Mrs Dowey, you sweet thing!

Have I your permission to ask

the most important question...

that a neglected orphan

could ask of an old lady?

None of your sauce, Kenneth!

For a long time Mrs Dowey,

you cannot have been unaware

of my sonnish feelings for you!

Wait till I get my mop to you!

And if you're not willing to be my

mother, I swear I shall ask no other!

Was I a well-behaved infant,

mother? -Not you, sonny!

You were a rampaging rogue!

Was I slow in learning to walk?

The quickest in our street!

Is that... the whistle?

No.

See here! You've taken me over,

you have in a manner of

speaking joined the kilties!

I like to think that, Kenneth.

Then you must be brave so that the

ghost piper will be proud of you!

Attention!

That's the style! Now listen!

I've turned in your name

as being my next of kin.

And your allowance will be coming

to you weekly in the usual way.

But... isn't that... wicked, Kenneth?

No, no, old lady.

You're as much responsible as any

mother ever was for sending a man to war!

and maybe more so than you know!

And besides you have a right to be

safeguarded, in case anything happens!

Kenneth! -Attention!

I'll be coming back, all

covered in mud and medals!

And be sure you have that

cup of tea waiting for me!

Won't it be a lot of fun

writing to one another?

Real letters this time! -Yes Kenny!

I think it'd be a good plan if you began

the first letter as soon as I'd gone!

I will.

I hope Lady Dolly goes

on sending me cake!

You may be sure.

I've got something for you.

I'll bet you were a pretty thing

when you were young! -Away with ye!

The scarf sets you off well!

Blue was always my colour!

Old lady.

Hey, the mail! -Oh, the mail!

Is there anything for me?

Your mail, George

-Nothing for you, Scotty.

Parcel for Dowie.

Is it one of Her Ladyship's cakes?

Must be something

for me -Two for you...

One for you

Nothing for me? -Come on boys

Say,

how would a guy like me go

about to learn to be a farmer?

What's the matter? You're not

thinking of turning honest, are you?

What were you thinking of?

Oh nothing

It wouldn't be any use anyhow

I know what he's thinking

about. He's thinking of her!

Was it nice to see her on leave?

Yes -Is she pretty?

To me, yes -Do you love her?

Who wouldn't love a woman,

what makes a cake like that?

Well, what about it?

Well, what about cutting the cake?

Sorry to break up the

party, boys -Why, what's up?

Jerry's got a couple of new

machine guns, here below this place.

Take Dowie, he's good at

it! -How about it, Dowie?

Alright with me. -Alright,

you, you, you and you. C'mon!

I'll mind the cake for you Dowie!

I'm going to put it where

the rats won't get it!

No rats are going to eat that cake!

No, and listen you

little worm, if you touch

that cake before i get back

I'll split you on this bayonet!

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes