She's All That

Simon ! Simon,

I got your breakfast.

- [ Knocking ]

- Simon, you up ?

Give me a couple of minutes.

[ Pounding ] Simon Boggs,

there are children in Mexico...

who've already been up for three hours

making clothes for corporate America.

- Leave me alone.

- That's it. I'm spitting in your juice.

- [ Hawking ]

- [ Groaning ]

I got a big loogie,

and I'll spit it right in your juice.

[ Hawking ]

[ Sucks Up Saliva ]

Good morning.

Good morning, Laney.

[ Boy On Radio ]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, earthquakes,

spring break is officially over.

Only two months left

at Harrison High till summer vacation.

Till then, here's

a little welcome back music.

Okay, I got a pump replacement

this afternoon...

out in Manhattan Beach.

So I'll try not to be late

picking you guys up.

- Laney ?

- Got it, Dad.

Have a good day, pumpkin-nose.

[ Girls Giggling ]

[ Girl #1 ]

I know.

- [ Girl #2 ] Hey, Zack.

- Hey.

- [ Girl #3 ] Hi.

- Hello.

What's happening, Connie ?

He spoke to me.

- He called you Connie.

- So ?

Your name is Melissa.

- Hey, Jesse.

- Hey, Laney.

See that Dateline on sewage dumpers

last night ? I taped it.

- What happened to dropping

ten pounds before graduation ?

- I'm looking into it.

- Jesse, do not eat that.

- Twinkie Lite, see ?

- Hey, yo !

- Hey, what's up, Siler ?

- What's up, Preston ?

- What's up, b*tch ?

How's it going, man ?

Hey, guys, check it.

Guess who jammed

a 30-year-old flight attendant...

at 25,000 feet

en route to Cancun ?

- Bullshit.

- I swear to God.

Come on, man. How was Vail ?

Fine. You know, skiing with

my parents, whatever. It was cool.

Cool ?

Has it occurred to anyone

that we have eight weeks left

in our high school careers ?

Sh*t. Only like

every five minutes.

Well, it's weird, you know ?

See, I'm driving through the gate

this morning, and it hit me.

Suddenly tomorrow is not just tomorrow.

It's like the future, you know ?

- No.

- Hey, guys, check it.

Then could I please speak to somebody

who doesn't have his head up his ass ?

Well, well, well, check

who's back from spring break...

looking all fine and sh*t.

Dean, on behalf

of every black person, shut up.

- Scusi ! On the phone here.

- How you doing, baby ?

Yes, I'll hold. Get off me.

Hey, you guys seen Taylor ?

Um, no.

- What ?

- Taylor ? My girlfriend ?

Yeah, come on, you know.

- Tall, kind of yells at everybody.

- No. Why ?

Why ? Uh, I don't know.

Maybe because I haven't spoken to her

since you guys left for Daytona.

Excuse me.

- Hey, party people.

- Hi, Taylor.

Oh, my gosh,

I've got total Diet Coke mouth.

- Does anybody have any gum ?

- [ Girls ] I got it. Me too. Here.

[ Bell Rings ]

Listen, Zack, I've been

doing some thinking.

I'm sorry. This just

isn't working for me anymore.

New tattoo ?

Damn.

So you show up after a week with

a tattoo and suddenly wanna break up ?

What happened in Florida, Taylor ?

Look, if you wanna

torture yourself--

Oh, whatever. Okay.

So we're at this club one night

and Chandler gets totally plowed,

and she starts making out

with this old guy for like

20 minutes on the dance floor.

Well, imagine our surprise

when this old guy turns out

to be Warren G.'s hairdresser.

- Isn't he gay ?

- Whatever.

So he sets us up with passes to

the spring break beach house, so we go.

- [ R&B ]

- [ Deejay ] Hey, hey.

What's up ? How's it going ?

Welcome to spring break, live from

the beach house of Daytona, Florida.

Beautiful weather, slammin' bands...

and, of course, 300 relative

strangers from all around

this great nation of ours,

[ Laughing ]

cuttin' loose, half naked...

and generally having a good time.

Uh !

[ Taylor ]

The next thing I know, Taylor Vaughan

is handpicked by the director...

- to dance on her very own raft.

- Hey !

This is all fascinating, Taylor,

but, uh, could you maybe skip to the

part where you decide to screw me over ?

Hold on.

I'm getting there. Okay.

I've been dancing for maybe

five minutes, and I nearly fell off,

which would have been so embarrassing,

being on cable and everything.

So I turn around to see what I've hit,

and that's when it happened.

Hey, I'm Brock Hudson ! Hey !

Brock Hudson ?

What kind of a name is that ?

- What kind of name is Zack ?

Okay, Brock is from The Real World.

- What, like Reseda ?

No, like the TV show, okay ?

Real World, L.A. Second season. Hello.

The dyslexic volleyball guy ?

They kicked him out of the house.

The next three days

were kind of a blur.

- [ Taylor Laughing ]

- I mean, it was like we had known

each other for weeks.

He knew exactly what I was thinking,

and I didn't even have to say a word.

So before I left,

Brock said he had a surprise for me:

something to record the wonderment

of our first days together.

- [ Moaning ]

- [ Whirring ]

- So that's it ?

- Pretty much, yeah.

Oh, but don't worry, Zack. I mean

I'll still go to the prom with you.

I mean we're gonna be elected.

It's only appropriate for

the king and queen to go together.

I-- I don't know what to say.

Oh, so don't then, Zack.

I mean, it's been fun.

But did you honestly think

that I was gonna leave

for college still dating you ?

Oh, my God, you did.

No way. That is so sweet. Ow !

Do you believe

this thing still hurts ?

[ Students Suddenly

Start Chattering ]

Great.

That's a very nice use

of color, Misty.

Thanks.

I read about this riot

in Mogadishu.

-This represents the pain of that night.

-That's wonderful, Laney.

But tell me something.

Which part represents you ?

Laney,

Savannah and I were just talking

about your stuff.

Just about how you're not--

you're not afraid to be dark.

Darkness rocks.

But I'll be honest. I don't think

anybody here really appreciates that.

- Uh-uh.

- Sav and I, we toured

the Prado over break, and--

That's in Spain.

And, um, we got in this discussion

one day at the cafe...

just about-- about how many

artists are really only truly

appreciated posthumously.

And we got Van Gogh, Pissarro.

- Basquait.

- Basquait. Thank you.

A-And then your name came up.

And Sav thought--

Actually, we both thought...

that it might be

a good idea for you if, um--

You killed yourself.

Think about it.

- [ Bell Rings ]

- [ Students Chattering ]

Well, check it out.

That's it for another day, earthquakes.

By the way, my condolences

go out to a certain individual

who got dissed and dismissed...

by his longtime,

magically delicious girlfriend.

Relax, man.

No one knows it's you.

[ Deejay ] Hey, hang in there, Zack.

It happens to the best of us.

Keep that head up,

all right, son ?

As far as the other dude,if it doesn't kill you,

it only makes you stronger. All right ?

Yeah. You better do something, man,

'cause your legacy's in jeopardy here.

I mean, one second

you're Zack Siler, class president,

standout athlete,

all-around bad-ass mamba-jahamba.

The next thing you know,

you're Zack Siler, b*tch-boy.

Hey, how are you guys ?

Hey. Hey.

- Brock.

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