She's All That Page #2

- Oh, excuse me. Excuse me.

- Hi !

- Hey. Hey, baby.

[ Chuckles ]

What's up ? How's it going ?

Who the hell does she think she is ?

There are 2,000 girls in this school,

and I can bump monkeys with every one of 'em.

- Taylor Vaughan is totally replaceable.

- Spare me this wax sh*t...

about replaceable, because we're

talking about Taylor Vaughan here.

- Sorry, man. He's-- He's right.

- Of course l'm right.

I mean, the girl's

an institution in this place.

Every girl wants to be her,

and every guy wants to nail her.

- Basically, she's you... with tits.

- [ Laughs ]

Nah, nah, you're wrong, you see.

The Taylor Vaughan you just described

is an illusion, a myth.

You strip away

all that attitude and makeup...

and basically all you have is

a C-minus G.P.A. with a wonder bra.

Oh, give it up.

Take, uh--

Take her for example.

Short, decent rack,

kind of a Chelsea Clinton

thing going on.

But given the right look,

the right boyfriend, bam !

In six weeks, she's the one

being crowned prom queen.

- You're serious ?

- As a heart attack.

You're clearly delusional. But how

about a chance to prove me wrong ?

Okay, hold on, hold on, hold on. Dean,

Dean, Dean. The boy's buggin' here.

You're taking advantage of a friend

in a vulnerable situation.

Gee, that's swell, Preston.

A fifth of Chivas and a uterus and you could be my mom.

No, seriously.

The guy thinks he could do anything.

Let him prove it.

- What do you say, Zack ?

- A bet ?

Yeah. Unless, of course,

you're too heartbroken.

- Just name the terms.

- All right, it's simple.

l'll pick the girl, and you got six

weeks to turn her into the prom queen.

Okay, okay, we get it, okay ?

- Everybody has a big jimmy.

Now can we just--

- You got it.

- All right. Let's go shopping.

- [ Laughing ]

Oh, man, this is

gonna be so much fun.

- [ Preston ] What about her ?

- [ Dean ] Nah, l don't think so.

- [ Girl ] l mean it's still scabbing.

See, l saved it.

- How about this one ?

A-Are you sure about Bubbles ?

Nah, we can do

better than that.

[ Zack ]

What about her ?

Rectal archaeology. Very nice.

Stupid, stupid, stupid,

stupid, stupid.

[ Gasps ]

Gentlemen, we have a winner.

[ Zack ]

What, Laney Boggs ?

Uh-uh ! No.

No, no, no, no.

Hey, a bet's a bet.

Right, Preston ?

Hey, man, this is

between you guys.

- [ Laughing ]

- [ Exhales ]

Look, fat l can handle.

Weird b*obs, bad personality,

maybe some sort of fungus.

Come on. Scary and inaccessible

is another story.

Hey, man, if l were you,

l wouldn't be wasting my time,

'cause by my calculations

you got six weeks until the prom.

And if-- if Laney Boggs

is gonna be queen,

l'd say you pretty much got

your work cut out for you.

- Hi, Laney. You got a second ?

- [ Boy ] Here comes Zack.

What's up, Spaz ?

He knows my name.

That's not your name.

That's not his name.

Oh. Sorry.

So, Laney, listen.

-l was wondering if maybe you'd wanna...

-Let's go, Simon.

embarrass me horribly

in front of all these people ?

- Laney--

- Come on. Dad's waiting. Let's go.

[ Laughter ]

Wait ! Watch this.

- [ Farts ]

- Oh ! Damn it, Brock.

Relax, man. Smells like roses.

l will not relax.

You-- You are being disrespectful.

You are disrespecting me,

and you are disrespecting Harmony.

lt's not about disrespect.

lt's just gas.

- That's about enough of this.

- How's the queen of The Real World ?

How did you know about that ?

Please. They've only run that

spring break thing like a zillion times.

- So who's the lucky rebound skank ?

- Rebound skank ?

- Well, there's gotta be

somebody, right ?

- Well, l wouldn't say somebody.

But there is sort of a project.

- Project ?

- Yeah.

To tell you the truth, she kind of,

uh-- she kind of blew me off.

l like her already.

Well, the only thing l can figure

is it's gotta be some kind of mistake.

Zack, l realize it's

a difficult concept...

for a b*tch magnet

such as yourself to grasp,

but did it ever occur to you

to make a little effort ?

- What do you mean ?

- Find out where she hangs out.

- Find out what she likes.

- [ Door Closes ]

Oh, crap.

Mom and Dad are home.

lf they ask, l'm at Ashley's.

Her brother's home.

He's so cute.

He just got kicked out

of military school.

Zachary, how was

the first day back ?

Ah. School is school.

Taylor and the girls

have a good time in Florida ?

- l guess so.

- There's still no word on

the Dartmouth application ?

Obviously not.

You haven't heard

from a single university yet.

- lsn't that a bit unusual

at this point in the year ?

- Not really.

You know maybe l ought to give

Ken Wortham in the alumni office a buzz.

- l owe him a call anyway.

- Nah, nah, let's give it

a couple of days.

Probably hear something

by Friday.

We'll give it till

the end of the week.

Does my tattoo

look red to you ?

- Come on, girl. Don't you care

about anything anymore ?

- What are we spewing about ?

Well, two weeks ago,

we were helping you plan

your prom queen acceptance speech.

Now all of a sudden, everything's

like "Brock this" and "Brock that"...

and "my tattoo."

Taylor, the last thing you wanna do

five weeks before the election...

is alienate people.

- And what is that supposed to mean ?

- l think...

what she's trying to say

is you should be careful. Right ?

Careful of what ? Okay.

l can win this thing

in fluorescent lighting...

on the first day of my period,

cloaked in tacky rags. Okay ?

My mother was

prom queen in '71.

My cousin,

prom queen in '82.

And my sister would have been

prom queen in '94...

if it wasn't for that scandal

on the Color Me Badd tour bus.

Okay, l am a goddamn legacy.

All right ?

And besides, not to be a b*tch,

but who's gonna beat Taylor Vaughan ?

God, l hope that's not

your acceptance speech.

Okay, sir, that will be one tahina kebab

with a side of spiced hummus salad.

Would you like to super-size

those falafel balls ?

Hmm. Let me see.

- Laney.

- Exactly what does

this super-size entail ?

Stalking is illegal

in all 50 states.

- Come on. l just wanna talk.

- l find myself torn.

Perhaps l could see

a sample ball...

to better equip myself

for such a decision.

- Don't you have a break coming up ?

- One moment, sir.

Uh, uh, miss ?

One moment, sir.

l'm not smart.

- What ?

- What ? You figure l could--

l could tutor you or something ?

- You think, "Oh, well,

there's Laney Boggs. She's a dork.

- Look, Laney.

- Laney.

- She must at least be smart."

Well, guess what, l'm not.

Laney, l have the fourth

highest G.P.A. in our class.

Mm-hmm.

Oh. What is this, some kind of new dork

outreach program ? l'm just not, uh--

- No, it-- Are you always like this ?

- No.

- Yes.

- Come on. Five minutes.

- [ Customer ] Miss ?

- Five seconds.

Okay. Um, l really

wanted to talk to you about...

- art.

- Art ?

- You don't take art.

- How do you know ?

How come l haven't seen you

in any of my classes ?

Well, 'cause l'm-- l'm busy

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