She's All That Page #3

with soccer and stuff.

So they let me take

one of those, uh-- the, uh--

- lndependent studies ?

- Yes.

But listen, l saw some of your stuff

in class. lt's really good.

So any kind of help you could give me,

l'd appreciate it.

- Sure. l-- Maybe sometime.

- How about tonight ?

The show at the Jester.

You can have my ticket.

That's great.

One moment, please.

- Ow !

- Look. l kicked your ass

in third grade.

- l'll do it again.

- Okay. One, l was sick that day.

And two, are you crazy ?

The best-looking guy

in school's stalking you,

and you're not

the least bit curious ?

Okay, here's the deal. The show's

at 7:
30. Parking can be a problem.

Meet me there at 7:00.

Don't be late.

7:
00 it is.

- Hey, do you wanna maybe go

have some dinner before--

- No.

l'll see you at 7:00.

l'm sorry, sir.

Have you made your decision ?

Yes, l have.

Super-size my balls.

[ Male Actor's Voice ]

Snug in the putrid womb

of a mother he never knew.

The fetus...

rising, floating.

That's Mitch.

Brilliant, isn't he ?

- [ Explosion ]

- Bursting forth ! Rushing forward !

Surging ! Emerging !

[ Gagging ]

My soul is an island.

My car is a Ford.

l wanna be like Mike.

[ Mitch ]

Falling ! Plunging !

Nay, expunging !

[ All Laughing ]

Whoo-hoo ! Aah-ah-ah !

Be silent, be still.

[ Together ]

Be silent, be still.

Be silent, be still.

Be silent, be still.

Be silent, be still.

Be silent, be still.

[ Applause ]

Oh !

Thank you very much.

Thank you for coming.

Um, before you leave,

our performer Laney...

has just informed me that there is

an exciting new voice among us.

ls there a Zack Siler

in the house ?

- [ Audience Murmuring ]

- Come on. Don't be shy.

We're all friends here.

Look, you don't have to go

if you're not interested.

Art is love, people.

Art is love.

Welcome, friend.

[ Exhales ]

How's it going ?

[ Clears Throat ]

[ Chuckles ]

lt's a Hack-E-Sack.

- [ Drum Beats Rhythmically ]

- [ Clears Throat ]

[ Drum Continues ]

Whew ! Hack-E-Sack.

Hack-E-Sack.

Bounce.

Bounce.

You gotta keep bouncing.

Can't let it drop.

Never let it drop.

Come on, Zack.

Everyone's watching.

Expecting.

Never... let it...

drop.

Everyone's counting

on you, Zack.

Don't let it drop.

Don't... ever...

let it...

drop !

[ Breathing Heavily ]

Sooner or later,

it has to drop.

Oh, man, l can't believe

l just did that.

Well, l'd be lying if l didn't say

l was a little surprised myself.

- So, tell me the truth,

how bad did l suck ?

- You were good.

Come on ! That thing you did

with the paint and all the garbage,

that was really good.

All l did was

kick around a beanbag.

All right, a little.

A lot. You sucked a lot.

Boy, you really blew.

- You feel better now ?

- l don't care.

Oh, man, l-I've given,

speeches and stuff,

but being up there

and not knowing what to do, it--

- Kind of a rush, isn't it ?

- Yeah.

Whew !

- What ?

- Do you always wear those glasses ?

- Yeah. Why ?

- No reason.

You ever think about contacts ?

Mm, l have 'em.

l just never wear 'em.

l don't know.

The idea of touching my eye is--

Because your eyes

are really... beautiful.

- Oh, please.

- What ?

"Your eyes are

really beautiful" ?

You really broke out the big guns

with that one, didn't you ?

- Laney, l was just--

- No. l had an instinct.

l went against it.

This is my fault.

Wha-- Laney,

l'm not following.

You wanna know about art ?

When the class president starts touching

my face on darkened street corners...

and talking about my eyes,

there's a word for it.

There's an entire movement in the '20s.

lt's called surreal.

- Laney, wait. Can't we just--

- You go. l'm gonna catch

a ride with Mitch.

The underwear guy ?

Oh, oh, oh, oh.

lt's on. lt's on.

Hey, this is great. Listen.

l got a question for you.

All right, this guy--

Would you kiss him for like,

say, 500 bucks on, like,

a public access channel ?

Oh, wait. This is

where l get sensitive.

My whole problem in the house

is that l was an only child.

l didn't have a lot of friends,

never had roommates before.

So l don't know how to

like deal with everyone.

A lot of people here in this house

think l'm cold and insensitive.

But underneath that, I've got a big--

This is big.

- Hey, ho.

- [ Girl ]

[ Beep ] that.

See what l mean ?

Ah ! Uh, baby, can you not

do that right now ?

Like l'm waiting for

the new Spelling drama at 2:00,

and l really-- you know

l don't wanna smell like your spit.

lt's like all over.

So just stop. Thank you. Watch.

- Oh, God.

- ...from my mom's sister...

- who once went--

- Your aunt ?

- Yes. Yes, my aunt.

- This is where l-- Watch this.

This is where l get

Brando on 'em. Watch.

- Very Brando.

- Do me a favor. Why don't you all

just stay out of my closet !

God !

- [ Grunts ]

- [ Can Clattering ]

- Morning.

- Morning.

- Zack Siler.

- Pleasure.

- Nice truck.

- Thanks.

l clean a lot of stuff

out of people's pool drains.

You never know what you're gonna find.

l got this over at the university.

At one of the fraternities, l found

this. Belonged to a football player,

- actually a Heisman trophy runner-up.

- No kidding.

- Zack, my man.

- Simon, hey.

Hey, you wanna play

some Sega ? Sega !

- [ Door Opens ]

- Maybe later.

- Loves Sega.

- Would you excuse us a minute ?

- What did l do ?

- Not you, him.

- What did l do ?

Hey, give me

a hand here, will ya ?

- Yeah, sure.

- Look, you can't just keep

showing up like this.

And you can't keep avoiding me.

Like the other night. What was that ?

- l was busy.

- Yeah. Busy wiggin'.

- Excuse me. l did not wig.

- There was major wiggage.

- So, you wanna go to the beach ?

- No.

- You hate the beach ?

- Yes. No.

- l don't have time for this.

- Fine.

- l'm leaving.

- Fine.

- Hey, Simon, how about that Sega ?

- Yeah.

- What are you doing ?

- l'm getting ready to play some Sega.

- No, you're not.

- Well, l believe l was invited.

- l am uninviting you.

- You're not the boss of him.

The man does have a point.

[ Exhales ]

Yep, looks like

a long afternoon of Sega.

And, hey, maybe your dad

can show me some more pool stuff.

l'll get my suit.

[ Zack ]

Well, once the clouds lifted,

it turned out to be

a pretty okay day.

Check out that water.

Do you know how many gallons

of chemicals are dumped

into the oceans each year ?

Don't you ever just kick back ?

l mean, l know the world

has its problems.

- But would it hurt you

to smile once in a while ?

- l smile.

lt's just you mentioned the ocean,

and l saw this thing on CNN--

- No, forget CNN.

- [ Dean ] Hey, yo, Siler, what's up ?

[ Zack ]

Great. Okay.

Listen. lf we're gonna be friends,

we have to deal with them

sooner or later, right ?

Come on.

Yeah, so l called your house,

and they said

you were at the beach,

so l figured you

must be at your spot.

- You know, many a woman

has lost it here.

- Shut up, Dean.

You have to forgive our man here.

His shorts are kind of tight.

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