She's Funny That Way Page #5

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Well, thanks a lot.

Yeah.

Do you know

Arnold Albertson that well?

Yeah, I know him.

But not very well.

He's helped me with the

play for a year. Why?

Nothing. He just seemed

like a really nice guy.

Yeah...

Do you like italian?

Food.

Yeah, sure.

How about Nicks on Fifth?

Or should I pick you up at home?

No, no, no. I'll meet

you at the restaurant.

-What time?

-Eight o'clock?

Okay, sure. I'll see you then.

Okay. Don't tell anybody,

but I'm rooting for you.

Thanks a lot.

-I'll see you later.

-Okay.

Bye.

Do you know the movie

breakfast at Tiffany's?

-Yes.

-Well...

They were playing it somewhere

downtown and I see this poster

of Audrey looking so gorgeous.

So I bought a

ticket and I went in.

And, for weeks I couldn't get this

movie out of my head, you know?

She had everything

under control.

Everything figured out,

she didn't need anything...

She is a call girl.

Well, maybe she was just somebody

who liked to have a drink and a dance

and spread happiness,

and if a guy was going to give her

50 on the way to the powder room

then she deserved it because

she touched their lives.

I'm perfectly aware

that it's an obsession.

But maybe if I knew more

about the woman herself...

Yes, what is it about this woman

that makes her so

goddamn obsessionable?

She doesn't sound

like my grandmother.

Say, what?

Every woman I've ever known

sounds like my grandmother,

except for this one.

Glo...

Glo?

As in Glo stick?

Why, yes.

Why?

My God.

What do you mean, "My God?"

I mean... My God!

That's terrific!

What a terrific...

Terrific name.

Yeah, you don't come

across that name too often.

No, but in therapy you do.

It's kinda common in therapy.

You know a Glo stick?

Yes, I do. Okay?

In fact, I am her therapist.

But professional reasons make

it impossible for me to discuss

anything whatsoever

to do with her.

She's a very nice

woman, however.

She's a little neurotic and

she has got quite a few problems

and she needs to get in

touch with her softer side.

But that's... That's private!

That is private! I am a doctor.

Doctors do not discuss their

patients' private lives.

How would you like it if I

my next client walked in here

and I said that the guy

that just walked out of here

Is a lunatic weirdo obsessed

with a woman named Glo stick?

How would you like that?

Well...

And by the way, I don't think

that this girl, however attractive,

is worth being obsessed about.

Especially for a married

judge of other humans.

Now, I'm not judgmental,

but that's just stupid!

It's me, Josh.

Can you pick up?

See what a good therapist I am?

That's my boyfriend

and I'm not picking up.

This is your private time.

So, I'm kind of stuck with the play

tonight and I can't make it for dinner.

What do you mean? What do you

mean you can't make it to dinner?

Fine! You know what?

I'll starve.

I've starved before,

I'll starve again.

You know, I've been

starving a lot myself lately.

Perhaps we should

starve together.

Would you care to have

dinner with me tonight?

What kind of food do you eat?

Do you like italian?

It's all right.

-So?

-All right.

I'm going to change my tampon.

I'm sorry, I just...

I don't agree with you.

I just think that Patterson

girl "nailed it," as Seth put it.

I just think that there was something

about her that nobody else had.

Kind of an experienced quality.

Almost like she'd lived it.

Yeah, I have to say,

I agree with Delta and Seth.

I mean, she had something really,

really special.

She reminds me of the girl that

I fell in love with in kindergarten.

Was she a hooker?

Yeah, she was a

kindergarten hooker.

That sounds like a

progressive school.

Okay, Sandy, who have

we not discussed?

You've covered it.

Okay, well, why don't we call

it a night and sleep on it.

That Izzy, though,

I feel like I know

her from somewhere.

Well, she did have one of

those sort of ordinary faces

that are a dime a dozen, so...

I don't think so.

Well, what do I know? I'm so hungry

I can't even think straight right now.

Okay, looks like that's a wrap.

Okay.

You're looking more

beautiful than ever.

I can't wait to do this...

Especially the love scenes.

Get out of here.

Well, thank you, Mr. Director,

that was a very surprising

first day, wasn't it?

It sure was, yeah. That's why we go

to the theater... To be surprised.

Incidentally, you might

find a few more colors

in your performance

tomorrow in rehearsals.

But good job today.

We're just beginning.

Hey, sorry if I was a

little snappy, darling.

But, why don't I make it up

with a little romantic dinner?

Can I help you, sir?

Table for one, over there.

This way, please.

Hi!

Hi.

I'm so sorry I'm late.

My God, are you all right?

It's all right, it's all right.

No, no... Let me get you up.

May I offer you some water?

-No.

-Scotch and soda?

-Maybe.

-I'll look into it.

-Thank you.

-My pleasure.

Such a beautiful restaurant.

Ahem!

-What's your problem?

-Nothing, nothing...

I'm just... I was thirsty.

Thank you.

What is it with you?

I don't know what's the matter

with me. I'm just very thirsty.

Well, then pick up the glass!

Stop pushing it off the table.

You must have been

such a demanding child.

God, I'm just starving.

Anyway, as I was saying,

I'm just so sick of artists.

They just always let you down.

Just give me a

great businessman.

Dating this playwright...

They write plays,

they don't think

about life, they...

Are you listening to

anything that I'm saying?

And why are you hiding

behind that menu?

I'm not!

Lawyers, good people. Yes. Yes.

I just have to change my life,

that's all I can say. I have to.

What are you looking at?

Is that who I think it is?

That son of a b*tch!

My gosh!

Are you all right?

-Yeah, yeah.

-Everybody keeps falling down!

Wow, how great!

Here's my therapist...

Jane, look, you have to...

You're fired!

Josh!

Are you okay?

-Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine.

-You sure?

-Yeah.

-Do you know her?

Yeah, I guess I do.

Don't just leave!

You're fired, too!

Watch where you're going!

You...

I have got to go

to the ladies room.

-Are you all right, son?

-Dad!

-What are you doing here?

-I work here.

-From when?

-It's a long story,

and neither of us

has time for it.

I'll see you in a minute.

I'm going to use the rest room.

Jane! Wait!

Well, hello, wonderful reading!

I was just getting some air.

Of course.

Josh, what are you doing here?

Arnold.

Hi.

Delta always said

this was a great place

-so I thought I'd try it.

-Yeah, yeah.

I'm here with that girl, Izzy.

I was so impressed with her.

-She's here?

-Yeah. In the ladies room.

Dear God in heaven.

What?

Why would you...

-Judge, let's take a little walk.

-I don't want a little walk.

I'm going back in there

and see what's going on!

Not right now, judge.

Well, I can't follow

anything you say.

Let's not blow it now.

Look who I found

in the ladies room.

-Josh...

-Yeah.

Josh told me.

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