She's Funny That Way Page #6

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-How are you?

-I'm fine, thanks.

-Fast moves, Josh.

-No, I just...

Have you had a chance to

look at the menu yet, Arnold?

Luckily, our kids love

their grandparents,

but we really should try to tuck

them in tonight, right, darling?

You know, I don't feel too good.

I think I'm gonna go.

-No.

-I'm sorry.

-Feel better.

-Yeah.

Feel better.

Well, look whose here.

One minute, Dmitri.

Hey, Glo! What do ya know?

You talking to me?

No, I'm Isabella.

You two know each other?

No. Not really.

Yeah, my mistake.

The gang's all here.

Of all the gin joints...

Delta, you look even younger now

than you did that time in Piccadilly

when you played with

those children. Remember?

That was fun, wasn't it?

It was really nice to see

you all, but I gotta go.

-Feel better.

-Yes.

-See you tomorrow.

-Let's sit down, Frankie.

Arnold,

Frankie is friends with Vickie.

I don't know any Vickies.

My mistake.

-Must be some other guy.

-Yeah.

Everybody seems to be confused

tonight! Must be the weather.

Yeah.

Confusion reigns.

See you in the morning.

Good night, sweet princess.

Adieu.

Good night.

Adieu.

Why don't you like that girl?

-Which girl?

-Isabella Patterson.

Who said I don't like her?

Well, you certainly

act weird around her.

Act weird? I barely

even looked at her.

Exactly.

It's better, it's better than

swooning over Mr. Seth Seduction.

I mean, everything he says you act like

it's the funniest thing you ever heard.

Pish-Tosh... You're

always jealous.

Why is everything always

back to London and Piccadilly?

And this glorious

time you guys had.

We had a good time on

that play, you know that.

No, I know. I'm sorry.

There they are!

-Judge...

-What?

I'm sorry to tell you,

but a problem has come up...

That's my son.

That's your son?

There's something not kosher here.

How long has this been going on?

What are you talking about? I didn't

know anything until half an hour ago,

if that's what you're implying.

I smell a rat.

Ha, you do? So do I!

-Wait, wait, wait!

-I'm tired of being abused.

I hope you're

feeling better now.

Yeah, I'm okay.

But you, you didn't

get anything to eat.

You want to come in

and have a sandwich?

-Sure.

-Okay.

God damn wrestling match!

Would you stop complaining?

Shut up!

I can't hear the TV.

You shut up!

Go play on the highway!

What's normal?

He was the first playwright

that I ever met.

And he was a true gentleman,

you know?

He didn't even try to kiss me,

even when I knew he wanted to.

And, he asked to meet my father.

And no one had ever

done that before.

I never even had a boy

in the house before.

But... Yeah, he was exactly what

I imagined a playwright to be.

Very sensitive and, he was like

the Arthur Miller to my Marilyn.

That was a great sandwich.

Thanks.

Are you okay?

You seem a little sad.

Yeah, it's just...

I don't think I'm

gonna get the part.

I feel very optimistic about it.

You're very sweet.

May I call you?

Yeah.

Sure. Why not?

Well, thanks for making

my play better.

So long, Josh.

That Loretta girl

gave a fair reading...

Isabella gave a brilliant one.

You have to make

a decision today.

Yeah.

I don't understand

what the problem is.

It's not a problem. No one

said anything about a problem.

-It's just that I have a process, okay?

-A process?

And the process

begins with a bagel.

-Pull the rigger, darling.

-I'm eating in silence, honey.

-Come on.

-Arnold!

We're going to go to

61st and Madison.

Lovely day, isn't it?

Well, he's a talker, isn't he?

They gave me the wrong bagels...

I asked for poppy seed.

They gave me four...

Boy, are you in a mood today!

Which nobody eats.

Tell me why you don't like her?

Who said that I don't like her? I just

don't want to make a snap decision.

-A snap decision.

-It's too important. It's my process.

Who is the one who always says

you have to go with your gut

and not think about

things too much?

-All right, not me.

-That was a direct quote...

I don't talk like that.

-I never... Talk about my gut.

-What is wrong with you?

There's nothing wrong with me.

I am under a great deal of pressure

and I don't need my wife

adding more pressure.

You have to admit,

there is something about this girl.

Maybe she was a

escort in a past life.

-Now we're talking about past lives?

-I don't know.

What's going on?

Where's the driver?

Is that him?

Yeah, that's him.

But where's he going?

He seems to be

getting into a cab.

This is the craziest thing

I've ever seen. What...

Was it something we said?

Apparently...

Either that or it's a mob hit

and we're about to blow up.

Yeah, well, get out. Get out.

What is this, like a

existential cab driver.

I think he couldn't take

the tension between us.

I know, maybe that

was his process.

Okay, I'll give her

the goddamn part!

That's all it took?

-Yeah.

-She owes that cabbie ten percent.

Hello?

Sandy?

You're not kidding, are you?

Tomorrow.

10:
00 A.M.

Okay! Thank you so much!

Okay, bye now.

-I got the part!

-What part?

-Broadway!

-Broadway?

So that's how you got the part?

That's what he told me, yeah.

-And you believed him?

-Yeah!

I think... It's kind of funny,

but I really don't see how you

can make a story like that up.

The same way you make up a

name or cheat on your wife.

He lied to you!

I don't know if I agree

with you, actually.

Because Arnold and I met under

very specific circumstances.

And he didn't owe me anything.

Especially not the truth.

And he certainly didn't

have to give me that part.

And he probably shouldn't have,

for all the grief

that it caused him.

Now, don't yell...

Let me explain.

Nope!

No. No.

No. Get out!

-I was...

-No!

You are one of the most

horrible people I've ever met...

No, in fact, you know what, you are the

most horrible person I have ever met.

You cancel our dinner to go out

with one of my sick patients.

Do you know that only

tells me how sick you are!

God, I just want to

shove this up your cock!

Jane, for God's sake,

it all has to do with my play.

Your play?

I don't care about your play!

Your stupid little play,

I don't care about you.

Just get out!

No.

-Hello?

-How dare you answer your cellphone

in my office!

That's great! I'm

so happy for you.

And now you're happy.

Now he's happy. You're always

depressed with me. Why is that?

Why is that? Who is that?

I can't talk right now.

Call me later.

Was that the crazy blond?

Or the needy father?

Jane, I must talk to you!

God, you know what? I'm so sick

of both of you. Just get out!

All of you, get out!

Just get out!

Okay.

Out!

I'm sick of these tight clothes.

I've gotta get a loose-fitting

suit or something.

Either that or it's liposuction.

Come on, you look great.

You're fishing for compliments.

-Stop it!

-Harpooning is more like it.

Hey, you two strangers,

what are you doing here?

Well, I know what

you're doing here.

Promotion, promotion.

-Promoting.

-Hi.

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