She's Out of My League Page #5

- Wear your underwear.

- Yeah.

- Like a bikini. Covers the good sh*t.

- Yeah, underwear is fine.

- Ron!

It's like what they did in the old days.

Underwear would be fine...

...if I were wearing any.

- Lunch is ready!

- I'm comin'!

Jeez.

- My mom makes awesome meatloaf.

- Oh, cool.

- After you.

- Sure you want another one, Dad?

What are you, my sponsor? Hit me!

Ron, honey, I never

complimented you on your...

...on your sweater vest. It's something!

Here you go.

Dylan, I think if you

just apologized to Leroy,

- he'll take you back.

- No, screw him.

- Got a foolproof moneymaker on the way.

- You're gonna want to pay attention.

I know how to make any car

into a convertible in 1 5 minutes, so...

- Wow.

- Yeah. You know why?

- No.

- Two words:
Global warming.

Actually, Dylan, according

to The Day After Tomorrow.

the film, the Earth

actually gets colder.

Yep.

What's, what's up... with you?

Are you...? These days?

- What?

- Want me to help you with the gar...?

F*** it. You seriously

not wearing any underwear?

- Dylan!

- We're all thinkin' it.

If you want to plan an exit strategy

or leave right now, I won't be offended.

- No, I'm not going anywhere.

- What do you do?

- I'm an event planner.

- See?

That's a business to get into.

That's usin' your head.

- Thank you, Dylan.

- No, wait for it.

Book a band, blow up balloons, people

pay out the ass for that, don't they?

- Yeah.

- Yeah, they do.

I'm not wearing any underwear.

Hey, Molly. Molly. Check it out.

So Deb and I are gettin' hitched.

How much cash

do you pocket for a wedding?

Any of this striking you

as inappropriate?

We're making conversation.

Don't get your panties in a wad.

- Jesus.

- No, it's fine.

A lot of factors affect the cost.

Check it out. We got

about 1 00 peeps coming.

We're doin' a NASCAR theme in Vegas.

I'm gonna get this kick-ass dress

made outta actual checkered flags,

like real tight, then Dylan's

gonna be in a wicked orange tux

with a Home Depot logo on the back.

What's up, right? Right?

You've never seen anything like that?

- Should be extensive.

- What's the damage on that?

My base fee is 1 5,000. So 1 00 people...

I mean, I'd ballpark that

somewhere around 50 grand.

- F*** you!

- F*** you.

- What?!

- F*** you!

- F*** you!

- F*** you.

- F*** you!

- F***!

That's a lot of

1 5 minute convertibles, Dylan?

Wait, so you make a

pretty comfortable living?

Sometimes.

You got your head on right.

And you don't do underwear.

What the hell are you

doin' with numbnuts?

- Dylan!

- Honey, what?

- No, hey, whoa, fair question.

- That's a fair question?

- Molly, I am so sorry.

- It's fine. You know, I mean...

Well, I don't...

I don't really know.

No, he makes me laugh.

He doesn't try and impress me.

And I can just be me around him.

- Oh, that's sweet.

- She's a keeper.

Kirk makes you laugh?

You a comedian? I didn't know.

Tell us a joke there, Sinbad.

I totally understand

what you're talking about.

The curse of being

an attractive woman.

I mean, men are always

putting us on a pedestal,

expecting us to be

something that we're not.

- "Us?"

- Come on, Marnie, get real.

- What?

- OK. You know, Molly,

we are taking a big family trip

out to Branson on the 31st,

- and I think you two should come.

- I think you're wrong.

- Gotta come to Branson.

- I don't think that's a good idea.

- You should come!

- We don't have room.

- They've got shows.

- Kenny Rogers' got his own theater.

We'll get a ticket.

I'll get you a ticket.

- Branson's small.

- Branson's a big place!

- Shut up, Ron.

- Can we go?

- It's your call.

- OK. Well, I'll see what I can do.

- Hey, hot dog!

- Result!

All right, relax.

Molly, I think there's

something you should know.

Kirk and I used to be lovers.

If you stay with him long enough

he'll give you one of these.

- They're great.

- Thank you, Dylan.

That's mine. It's for my earrings.

Kirk, you look really good.

Thank you. You look really...

Thank you so much.

- It was fantastic meeting you!

- Oh, you, too.

You're so special and God, I just...

- Branson, think about it.

- OK.

OK?

- She's really great. Later, pirate.

- Yeah. Bye, pirate.

- Let me help you, Mrs. Kettner.

- Maybe you could wrap those potatoes.

Come on. You're a guest here.

You really don't have to do that.

Oh, I don't mind.

Ready? You and me, downstairs,

Slap Shot Regatta.

Man, we're not children anymore.

Do we really have to do this?

- Mom!

- Kirk, go play with your brother.

- We need some girl time.

- Yeah, you promised.

- So pad up, chickenshit!

- Yeah, I'll see you down there.

Aw, crap.

Come on. Let's do this!

- Let's focus it up.

- Left side.

- That was lucky.

- He never saw it, but he stopped it.

Come on, Dylan, give it to him.

You think you're Mr. Hot Sh*t now

with your new chick?

What? No. Maybe I'm just

a bit lucky tonight. I...

- What are you?

- You're not better than me.

Take a look. All these trophies

say Dylan Kettner.

- First place. First place. MVP.

- I don't think I'm better than you.

I never said that. And maybe Molly's

a little better looking than I am.

A little? Are you shitting me?

OK, I think we can all agree

that Debbie here is one wicked hot box.

Thanks, babe.

This chick of yours

makes her look like a pig.

- What? You're an a**hole! What?!

- See?

This girlfriend of yours

is already startin' sh*t!

Did you see that, Mom?!

One second! Butterfly!

- I want to have another baby!

- No, that's OK, sweetheart.

OK, boys, it's a tie.

There are no ties in hockey,

as there are no ties in life.

- True.

- Last shot. Winner takes all. Go!

OK, come on, you can do it.

He's got nothing.

He's got less than nothing.

Own it. You can do it.

Come on, Dylan! Get in the zone!

You're still my MVP, baby!

Kirk's just a skinny little loser!

- Jesus, Debbie.

- Man, I gotta sit down.

You want to do this? Let's do it.

- Damn it!

- There's always a next time.

- F*** it!

- Dylan.

This floor's all slippery!

And these shoes are f***ed for this!

- Dylan, hey! Sportsmanship.

- F*** you!

- Time out.

- You guys take a time out

from bein' a**holes!

Oh, God.

- I'll get us some wine.

- Yeah, cool.

- This place is gorgeous!

- Thank you.

This kind of reminds me of my place,

except for my place is a total shithole.

This is awesome.

How long have you lived...

- My God! What the f*** is that?!

- Oh, that's Captain Pickles.

I'm watching him

while my folks are on vacation.

What is he?

A dog or a f***in' horse?

Sit down.

Wha... Me or the dog?

You. He doesn't like people standing.

He feels threatened by it.

He gets all, you know, angsty.

Hey, angsty, that's...

No, hey, I come in peace.

Thank you.

OK, wait.

I don't want to move too fast.

I... No, sure, no problem. No problem.

No, don't get me wrong.

I mean, once I trust a person

I can experiment

and get pretty generous.

Yeah, yeah, no, me, too. Me, too.

I... I'm...

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