Shoot 'Em Up Page #2

to use your signal?

So you started shooting at them?

No, I don't carry a piece.

I went to the woman. She had a gun.

They started firing, I shot back.

He's done it again.

I move my finger one inch...

to use my turn signal.

Why are these a**holes so lazy...

they can't move their finger

one f***ing measly inch...

to drive more safely?

- You wanna know why?

- Not particularly.

Because these rich bastards

have to...

be callous and inconsiderate

in the first place...

to make all that money,

so when they get on the road...

they can't help themselves.

They've gotta be...

callous and inconsiderate

drivers too.

It's in their nature.

Why don't you take the baby

to the police?

- I can't go to the police.

- Why not?

I'm the Unabomber.

They caught the Unabomber.

That's what they think.

Stupid...

Right. That's it.

You are the angriest man

in the world.

If I remember right,

you used to like it like that.

Well, how many freelancers

have you got?

Yeah? How many local boys?

I need men, you understand?

I need a lot more men.

I want four mags...

a box of 9-millimeter

147 hollow-points...

...and give me 50 FMJs.

You're a little short.

You lied. You said you had $5,000.

How about we make up the

difference with food stamps?

You wanna buy bullets

with food stamps?

It's as good as cash.

You're pathetic, Smith.

We'll wait for you outside.

look, why don't I sign over this check

I got at the blood bank to you?

It'll more than cover it.

Throw in that check you got

from the sperm bank...

and got yourself a deal.

I don't get that check

till Wednesday.

listen, why don't you take

a half-a box of shells...

and I'll give you the other half...

when you bring me the rest

of the money on Wednesday.

Deal.

Damn it, Smith!

What the hell are you doing?

Making some money.

- Making some money?

- Well, yeah.

To buy something for the baby.

Something for the baby?

A bulletproof vest is a better

investment than a crib.

Makes me think what you'd do

to get him in the right school.

So this is it.

It's not the Ritz but it's home.

Same old Smith.

Down and dirty.

Glad you like it.

Say hello to Mickey.

Maybe I should take the baby

to the police.

No, you'd never make it.

They'll be watching

all the precincts...

probably got some of the boys in blue

on payola too.

I've rounded up 50 guys.

Well, I guess that's just

gonna have to do, huh?

Stop the car. He was here.

Come on, what makes

you think he was here?

Trust me. I know what people do

and I know what people think.

I always have.

Even as a kid, I had this gift.

Yeah, you shoulda seen

the playground hurt I laid down...

playin' rock, paper, scissors, buddy.

Now stop the car.

Who do you think

wants this baby dead?

I've no idea who's tryin' to kill it.

Don't call him an 'it. '

It's an 'it' to me.

Tell me, Smith,

is there anything you like?

Yeah, my privacy.

Tell me something I don't know

per una volta...

brutto figlio di puttana bastardo.

I love it when you talk like that.

Can I offer you anything?

Carrot?

It's good for your eyesight.

Of all the squats in the city...

how does he know

Smith's in this one?

Another lucky guess?

Nah, he doesn't guess.

He sees things we don't.

He was once an FBI profiler.

Forensic behavior consultant.

My God, how many times

do I have to tell you guys?

Details...

...make all the difference

in this business.

Hey, but...

Don't... you think

you should hang back, sir?

The leader who stays in the rear,

takes it in the rear.

Besides...

violence is one of

the most fun things to watch.

No, no, no, baby, no.

We could call him Oliver.

- Oliver?

- Yeah, like Oliver Twist.

Because he's an orphan?

'Cause I like the book.

- You like the book.

- I didn't hate it.

That's a first.

Which birthday card do

you think I should go with here?

Cute and cuddly?

Or the one that says,

'You're becomin' a man now, son'?

So, Mr. Hertz?

How old is your son?

He's 8.

Then it had to be

large and powerful and...

Can you believe it?

There's nothing on the TV...

- about any of this.

... without a trace.

...roadside bomb wounded...

We have it in our...

Hey. Do you notice that?

Notice what?

look.

lame-ass politician rants about

gun control, he cries.

- So tonight...

- Switch to this channel...

with this heavy metal music...

...he shuts up.

That's so weird.

He must find it comforting.

- Sir?

- Yeah?

- Men are in place on the roof.

- That's good.

Anybody know what a

Jimmy Cagney love scene is?

It's where Cagney

lets the good guy live.

And if that happens in this show...

I'm gonna do a lot more

than ask for my money back.

All right? let's kill this mother. Go.

It doesn't surprise me that

Oliver's into death metal.

look at his surrogate parents.

No, I'm telling ya, this means...

Go. Back way.

My God, do we really suck...

or is this guy really that good?

Come on, boys!

He ain't out of the briar patch yet!

Shoot the dog, shoot the dog.

No.

- Why not?

- I like dogs.

Wait a minute.

Oh, that rat bastard.

What is it?

It's the baby's diaper.

This idea blows, Smith.

It's the only idea we got.

You actually think

that Oliver's mother...

lived near a heavy metal club...

...and that he could hear the music

while he was still inside the womb?

Yep. That's why he doesn't cry...

when he's listenin' to some

headbanger's bash.

Ridiculous.

Well, he isn't cryin' now.

So this is the only club near where

I encountered the baby's mother.

I still say this is a wild hunch.

Yeah? So how do you explain

all these boxes of diapers?

Somebody's been stocking up.

let's find out who.

- You the owner of this place?

- Who's askin'?

I am.

- Can I buy you a drink?

- No.

Just as I suspected.

He really is into jewelry.

Who occupies the

room upstairs?

Go to hell.

Don't mess with me.

You ain't got the cojones.

Oh, God.

So who were these guys?

I rented the place to some suit

11 months ago.

He paid the whole year in cash.

I never saw him again.

I just figured they were

usin' the back way.

Beat it.

Oh, madonna.

Che orrore!

This is pretty f***ed up.

Sir, it's your go-to guy.

All the mothers have been killed.

Only one escaped, temporarily.

We found her body and confirmed

that she did deliver a child.

The babies were supposed

to be delivered covertly.

I guess setting up this

maternity factory...

on top of a heavy metal club

wasn't particularly secret.

What a fine lot of

babysitters we turned out to be.

When Mr. Go-To Guy passes,

head to the left.

Yes, sir, I already made the call.

Backup should be

arriving any minute.

We'll clean this mess up

and try to piece together...

everything that happened.

Thank you, sir.

I appreciate your confidence.

Gentlemen, let's find some answers.

Watch where you step.

- The ice cream is melting.

- What?

I thought donor sperm

was your department.

These freezers are full of samples.

This is weird.

There seems to be only one donor.

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