Slap Her... She's French Page #4

"What a relief from the

cosmetically enhanced Barbies

that seem to overpopulate

our school."

Hey, Barbie

is a role model.

You'll have to beat

them off with a stick.

Oui. what does it say

about me?

Mmm...here it is,

right underneath

the lunch menu.

"And for Genevieve's

presence among us,

due thanks must go

to stalra Grady."

"Stalra?"

"Stalra!"

Oh, my gosh.

That is so pathetic.

Ohh! starla,

i cannot bear

that I have

made you unhappy!

I wish I could throw

myself under a plane!

Oh, don't be

such a drama queen.

I'm not mad at you.

I'm mad at ed.

And you wish you could

throw yourself under a train!

I only spoke to him

to tell the world

how much

you have helped me,

and because...

Because I thought

he liked me

in the way

romantique.

That's it. We're not letting him

get away with this.

[Tires screech]

Ladies.

I think it is

so completely despicable

the way you used

poor Genevieve!

Pretending to flirt with her

so she'd open up to you.

Wait a minute.

She flirted with me!

Oh, right. Now that you

got your precious story,

you're just gonna

toss her aside

like an empty can

of diet Pepsi!

I'm not tossing

anybody aside.

You ought to be taken

outside and horsewhipped,

taking advantage

of a foreigner like that.

Please don't try--

it's people like you

who give America a bad name!

You're one to talk,

you conniving blonde bimbo.

[Sobbing]

Now look

what you've done.

I have a good mind

to have Kyle come

and beat you off!

Up. beat you up.

Starla, wait.

Come on.

What kind of shirt

is that?

It's a t-shirt.

Well, it doesn't even

have a logo on it.

Ha ha ha!

Starla:

when I'm done with you,

you're gonna forget

all about that ed.

You never cease

to be aiding me.

I just hope this tape

will help pay you back

for all

you've done to me.

Tanner:
ok, listen up.

Top 10 reasons to cross a guy

off your list.

Number one--

he forgets your birthday.

He's always flaunting

his Manhattan sophistication

because he's so...

So...Pseudo.

I mean, what makes him

so special?

We should call him

"special ed."

I mean, what kind of name

is ed anyway?

I heard his real

name is Edwin.

Edwin?

I mean, Genevieve is, like,

this pitiful foreigner,

which makes us all

ambassadors for America, right?

But no, special ed

has to manipulate her

to make himself

look good.

He's so use-orious.

The whole school is nothing

but a bunch of phony posers,

a nest of users, losers,

and self-abusers.

Ok, Genevieve,

all done.

Something wrong?

No. um...

You did

a wonderful job.

Perhaps it is me,

and I'm just not meant

to wear makeup.

Oui. you might

be right.

Where was I?

Oh, yeah. And don't get me

started on monsieur le Duke,

Mr. "I'm married,

but teenage girls

make me pop my Jimmy

in my fruit de looms."

[Click]

Starla:

good morning, mama.

Morning, baby.

Hey, have you

seen Genevieve?

Oh, she and your father

left early. Hunting.

Hunting?

as in shooting?

You know your daddy's

always wanted a child

he could kill things with.

Now he's finally got one.

But Genevieve

hates shooting.

Well, yes, but you have

to remember, starla,

those people think

Jerry Lewis is a god.

What does that have

to do with anything?

What does anything have

to do with anything?

Morning, everyone.

Morning, y'all.

Hey. you girls sleep ok?

Oh, yeah!

Fine, thanks.

Can I bum one of these

off you, Mrs. g?

No. her bed's been empty

all morning.

You little perv.

Ooh, I'm gonna

get you, Randolph!

[Ashley laughing]

Randolph:
mom!

Excusez-moi,

mademoiselle.

O se trouve

la bibliothque?

La bibliothque

est au centre ville.

Nous pourrions peut-etre nous

y retrouver la faire l'amour.

What's your problem,

Poindexter?

No problem.

No problem at all.

Oh. hi, honey.

Well, thanks again for coming

out with me today, Genevieve.

It was my

pleasure, papa.

Papa?

I told her she could

call me that.

Sweetheart, she is a part

of this family now.

Hmm.

[Whirring]

[Humming]

[Sniff sniff]

Oh.

Well, I hope

you're ready, starla.

Mais oui.

You're gonna be

so proud, monsieur Duke.

Uh, let's start

with the dialogue

in lesson trois.

Shall we?

C'est bonne.

[Speaking French]

See? and you thought

I wasn't motivated

enough to pass.

Starla--

wait. there's more.

Stop right there,

young lady!

Now, I realize

it's natural

to develop

a crush on an older,

more experienced man,

but I am married.

Ew! you and me?

You wish, Chewbacca.

Sir.

How could i

flunk French?

I was tutored by

a total French girl.

Starla, I just heard.

What happened?

And then he accused me

of coming on to him.

Hello!

Of how this will affect

your cheerleading.

Oh, my gosh.

The hornettes.

I'm gonna

get kicked off.

1, 2, 3, 4,

5, 6, 7, 8.

Kimmy sue:

I just don't understand.

Who cares if you

can speak a language

that sounds like you're

trying to hock a lugie?

Is that really

gonna serve you better

in the real world

than being able

to kick your heels

over your head?

Hey, you're preaching to

the choir, miss sprinkle.

Can't you temporarily

that would just create

an empty space somewhere else.

There's a very delicate

balance here.

5, 6, 7, 8.

1, 2, 3, 4...

Uh...this is

a crazy idea, I know,

but perhaps I could

step in for starla,

just until

she gets her grades up.

You're right.

It's a terrible idea.

Well, now wait.

Can you dance?

[ Bust a move

by young m.C. Playing]

This here's a tale

for all the fellas

try to do

what those ladies tell us

get shot down

'cause you're overzealous

play hard-to-get,

females get jealous

ok, smarty,

go to a party

girls are scantily clad

and showing body

a chick walks by,

you wish you could sex her

but you're standing on the

wall like you was Poindexter

next day's function,

high-class luncheon...

Is that our girl?

Ooh la la.

She's no

starla.

Thank you, Randolph.

She looks nothing

like a drag queen.

Says she want to dance

'cause she likes to groove

so come on, fatso,

and just bust a move

just bust a move

[Crowd gasps]

Just bust a move

[Crowd gasps]

[Crowd gasps]

You're on a mission

someone could cure

your lonely condition

looking for love

in all the wrong places

no fine girls,

just ugly faces

from frustration,

first inclination

is to become a monk

and leave the situation

my girl runs up

with something to prove

so don't just stand there,

bust a move

if you want it,

you got it...

Hey.

What do you want?

Here to get

your recommended

daily allowance

of homogenized

blonde bimbo?

Here to apologize.

I said some

fairly harsh things.

Oh. well, apology

fairly accepted.

Genevieve came on

to me real hard,

giving me

these French looks.

I fell for it.

But she only did it

to get what she wanted.

I'm beginning

to notice

she always gets

what she wants...

And what I want, too.

Look at the girl,

and your heart starts thumping

says she wants to dance

to a different groove

now you know what

to do, g, bust a move

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