Slap Her... She's French Page #5

if you want it,

you got it, huh

if you want it,

baby, you got it

just bust a move

if you want it,

you got it

What you reading?

[Music stops]

[Applause]

Oh, I like dick.

Ok, I'll cut

the crap.

Just tell me what

this means.

[Repeating French

from earlier]

I have a mouth

like 10 fingers

10 fingers--

[screaming]

[Mooing]

Damn! where's

that treacherous skank's

smoking-gun tape?!

Uh!

Ugh!

I need a drink.

She even stole

my diet Pepsi.

What the heck?

Ok, b*tch.

It's payback time.

Better watch out

here I come

start it up, daddy,

let's have some fun

all night long

I said all night long

all night long

Where's that snail-eating,

Bordeaux-swilling,

American-foreign-policy-

opposing,

legs-not-shaven slouch?

Whoa, there,

cowgirl!

She is just evil!

She made me learn

bogus French so I'd flunk

and she could take my spot

on the hornettes!

I mean, what kind

of person could be so...

Calculated?

Well...you.

the only reason

you sponsored

that exchange student

was so that you could

win that pageant, right?

What a mean thing

to say.

Oh!

But when it comes to loving,

I'll knock you off your feet

all night long

I said all night long

all night long

you better

keep up with me, baby

You messed with

the wrong kooz, flooz.

Get ready to partay.

Come on, babe.

We're just dancing.

That's not dancing!

That's...dry humping!

Oh! sorry.

That's how we dance

in my country.

Then everyone in your country

is a big, fat whore!

Maybe if you knew how

to keep your man happy,

he wouldn't have to dance

with a whore such as myself.

Ooh...

You...total...

Poo--Tash!

[All shouting]

Starla, why do

you have to be

so nasty

to Genevieve?

Oui. you just can't stand

for anybody else

to have a little bit

of attention,

you stuck-up b*tch!

Don't call me

a b*tch...B*tch!

You are

a b*tch...B*tch!

And we know you

called us sluts.

Yare sluts!

[Screaming]

Boy:
girl fight!

[Onlookers cheering

"girl fight!"]

Listen to me,

everybody!

She made a fake tape

so that I'd fail French

and she could

take over my life!

J'accuse!

Let's get you

out of here.

I'm gonna get you,

Kermit!

You're going down!

[Stops engine]

Uh...we're here.

What's happening

to me?

You're just

finding out

what it's like to

get kicked around.

But why is everybody

suddenly turning against me?

Well, you're a...

You're a...

I'm sure you're

a really nice person

under layers

and layers of...

Stuff, which you kind of

have to dig through.

But...

I like you.

You do?

If I take comfort

from you

Yeah.

Would you hold me

to something more?

If I hold out my hand

would you start

making plans for us two?

Um...well...thanks for

rescuing me back there...

If I take comfort

from you

Edwin.

Oh, it's too much

for this girl

I could never be what

you see in me

but don't go get the idea

I'd turn away

or I wouldn't care

Wow.

Cute outfit.

Looking great.

How's it going?

You never

return my calls.

Hey, Genevieve.

Oh, good morning,

starla.

I love

your new perfume.

What's that called?

I remember.

It's called over.

Oh, yeah?

Oh, and in case

you didn't know,

your beret looks

totally retarded!

Come on.

Let's go. Let's go.

She was a wide-eyed

girl

her lips, as sweet

as a tangerine

but only lord knows

why she want to f*** with me

[TV playing]

[Laughter]

French b*tch

stole my man 'cause she felt

the need to scratch an itch

you've given her candy

and you've given her snow

but the dirty little

motherlover won't let go

French b*tch

stole my man 'cause she felt

the need to scratch an itch

you've given her candy

and you've given her snow

she was

a wide-eyed girl

[Song continues]

And now she's trying

to take my man

from underneath

my nails

[Song continues]

French b*tch

[Genevieve reading

announcements]

Starla:
what else

could she take from me,

other than my life?

I was gonna get this leech

before she sucked me dry.

Please find Genevieve leplouff,

Paris, France.

Please e-mail me

at superstarla.Com.

[Sighs]

J'ai mal agi,

et j'ai trs honte de moi.

Je t'en supplie.

Pardonnez-moi.

I don't speak French!

I have done

despicable things,

but only because

i was dazzled

by the beauty

of your life.

Please do not

kiss my knees.

That is just

too squirrely for words.

I am malice

aforethought,

the daughter

of evil,

the whore

of Babylon.

I know you could

never forgive me,

but at least let me

try to explain.

Explain what?!

Not long ago, I had

a beautiful family myself.

My life fell apart

like a dry croissant.

But then I came here,

and you opened up your limbs

and welcomed me to

your family's warm bosom,

and let me

into your world.

And then, poof...

Thanks to you,

i had a new family.

I admired you so much.

I adored you.

And then...And then

i wanted to be you.

Your life is

like a fairy tale.

You are so beautiful

and sophistique

and charmante--

everything I wasn't.

I became obsessed.

I was so jealous of you.

You poor thing.

It must have

been hard.

I tried to take

your family away.

How can you

ever forgive me?

I almost feel guilty

my life was so perfect.

No wonder

you were jealous.

Don't blame yourself.

It is not you

who should feel guilty.

I know this sounds

strange, but...

If it wasn't for you

totally messing up

my life,

I would have

never realized

what it's like

to not be the best.

Maybe it'll make me

an even better person.

I will make

everything right.

I swear it,

on the graves of mon pre

and my beloved Jean-Marie.

I must, or I will

lose my soul.

There is only one way

to extinguish my guilt.

I must come cleanly.

The tape.

Oh, starla, that outfit

suits you so well.

I'm so happy that we

are friends once again.

[Kiss kiss]

Me, too. But first

things first.

We don't want to be late

for French class.

After my confession,

you will once more

be the Princess

of splendona high.

Trust me.

I will make sure

everyone will know

the truth.

Oh, let me do that.

I'm just so happy

to get my life back.

Hey, starla,

good to see you back.

I love your shoes!

Howdy, y'all.

Beautiful day.

[Voices echoing]

Uh...

Can't it wait?

We're on our way to--

what are you

doing with her?

It's like a miracle.

She turned over the tape,

and she's gonna confess

everything.

Are you ok?

Sure. I never

felt better.

She went through

this whole catholic thing--

kissing my knees

and calling herself a whore.

It was like

taxicab confessions.

We're gonna get everything

straightened away.

I'll be

head hornette again.

I'll be a lock for the junior

anchorpersons competition.

You'd take

Kyle back?

Well, yeah.

What?

Nothing.

Hope it all

works out.

You deserve it.

Freak.

What was

that about?

I have no idea.

[Distorted voices]

Wow.

[Monsieur Duke

speaking French]

Young lady, you are no longer

a member of my class.

Now, I don't want

any trouble from you,

so why don't you

just turn around--

uno momento,

s'il vous plait.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes