Slap Her... She's French Page #6

Genevieve has

a little something

she wants to get

off her chest.

Go on. Tell them

what really happened.

Play this tape.

Starla, I won't have you

disrupting this class.

Monsieur Duke,

some things are

a little more important

than French class.

In fact...

Most things are.

Ha ha ha!

Play this tape! Now!

Immdiatement. andele.

Genevieve:

please, do as she says.

Play the tape,

i beg you.

Starla's voice:

The whole school

is nothing but a bunch

of phony posers,

a nest of users, losers,

and self-abusers.

Actually, that's

not the right tape.

I think we'd all like

to hear the rest.

[Screaming]

Starla's voice:
Don't get me

started on monsieur le Duke,

Mr. "I'm married,

but teenage girls

make my pop my Jimmy

in my fruit de looms."

And I'll tell you

something else.

He and his wife Marilyn get

together with the neighbors,

and they take off all

their clothes, and they--

that'll be

enough of that.

You don't understand!

She switched the tapes!

And I suppose that wasn't

your voice we were hearing?

Aah!

[Screaming]

[Shouting in French]

She's got a knife,

and she's high!

You b*tch!

[Screaming]

Securit! securit!

[Screaming continues]

[Door opens]

Come with me.

[Vomits]

Oh, my. Come on.

Ha ha ha...

Come on.

If these turn out good,

could I order prints?

This is sheriff

Ronald flinkman

of the splendona

sheriff's department.

Attendez-vous,

s'il vous plait.

Miss Grady, this is

sheriff flinkman.

Oh, yes. We've been

expecting your call

ever since the school

phoned us about our starla.

Then you know she's probably

in a spot of trouble?

You might want to come

down here and pick her up.

Well, to tell you

the truth, officer,

I talked it over

with my husband, Arnie,

and we both feel

a little tough love

might be in order.

If we just sort of let

starla cool her heels

in the slammer

for a couple of days?

Would it be ok?

Well, hell, yeah.

Very good, then.

Thank you,

sheriff flink...Man.

Bye.

At last...

A parent who cares.

Who was that?

Starla.

she called to say

she'd be working

all night with ed,

rehearsing her news piece

for the competition,

and she'll meet us

there tomorrow.

Oh.

Ok.

Am I getting out

of here?

I'm sorry, honey.

Not yet.

But we're gonna let you

get all cleaned up.

Just being in here

makes me feel dirty.

To be honest, I could

use a nice, hot bath.

None of y'all has got

any cream rinse?

Dear god...

I promise, if you

let me out of here,

to become a sweeter...

More caring

and considerate person.

Thank you, god, for giving me

this cell all to myself.

I take that as a sign.

[Door opens]

[Snoring]

[Woman farting]

Ugh!

[Door opens]

Now what?

You are free,

darling.

Oh!

Where's mom and dad?

Genevieve told them

that you'd meet them

at the junior

anchorperson competition.

So they let me

rot in prison?

Well, they didn't

really know.

Well, then

who bailed me out?

I did.

You? how?

I thought you

might need this.

That your broke

your piggy bank for me?

Yeah. well, somebody

had to do something.

Why? you don't

even like me.

Nobody fucks

with my family

and gets away

with it.

Now let's go.

Where are we going?

To the car.

You don't have

a car.

Someone else

does.

[Sighs] if you're

here to tell me

what a jerk I am,

take a number.

No, but before

we move on,

I have to say...

You were monumentally

cruel to me.

I know.

But can we

please hurry?

Because I don't want

to miss the competition.

There's a piece of

information you should know.

Uh...this came

in your e-mail.

I think you might

like to read it.

"Genevieve leplouff

was a student at our school

"who graduated in 1939.

"You'll find her grave

at the cemetery in Paris,

"just 3 headstones

behind Jim Morrison

and 2 headstones

to the right of balzac."

What?!

Where'd you find

this girl, anyway?

I didn't find her!

She found me!

Who is she?

There's more.

Spit it out!

Sorry.

what is it?

I thila fiend

is trying to steal

your place

in the competition.

I overheard her

practicing your piece.

What?!

That cow

is incredible!

She's

an ice-cold pro.

Yeah? well, I'm gonna

kick her ice-cold ass!

What?

"Kick her

ice-cold ass."

Ice...cow...ass.

Ice cow ass!

Ice cow ass!

Come on!

Take me home!

Man:
welcome, everyone,

to the k.E.H.A. Studios

junior anchorpersons

competition.

The winner of the junior

anchorpersons competition

will be awarded

a scholarship

to study broadcasting

at Wellesley college,

the big chance to reach

fame and fortune.

Is Susan Douglas

from thompkins high

with "mulch,

the gardener's friend."

Girl:
my name

is Susan Douglas,

and my story tonight

is important

because

the world needs mulch.

[Tires screech]

[Tires screech]

Yes!

Where is starla?

Mamai have

been thinking.

The important thing

is for the show to go on.

I will fill in for starla

if she's not here in time.

Oui, papi have

given the judges

I think it's what

she would have wanted.

[Tires screech]

I'm gonna put a 2-second

dissolve in here, ok?

Yeah. whatever.

[Typing]

Thomas:
next up,

ladies and gentlemen,

will be Doreen gilmore

of splendona high

with "color-blind."

[Bleating and hissing]

[Horse neighs]

Tonight, I'm gonna introduce you

to the haskel family--

James, lerlene,

and their 7-year-old son Ronny.

Ronny hasn't seen much tragedy

or pain in his young life,

but as you'll

discover tonight,

it's what he doesn't see

that truly hurts.

Doreen's voice:

He was like any child,

but early on, lerlene noticed

her son was not like any child.

Ronny was helping me

set the table for dinner,

and I said, "Ronny,

bring mama the ketchup."

And he said,

"which one's that?"

And I said,

"the red one, darling."

[Dramatic music playing]

He brought me the mustard.

[Audience groans]

Doreen's voice:

The diagnosis was horrifying.

Little Ronny was color-blind.

Little Ronny's older brother,

as well as his father,

had been very upset

by lerlene's reaction...

[Voice fades]

This is it.

I'd better hurry

and deliver this tape.

Wait.

I've wanted to be

an anchorperson my whole life.

What if I'm no good?

What if I fail?

What if the best

i can do...Is cable?

What? do I have

something on my face?

You just make me laugh,

that's all.

Go get 'em,

cable girl.

Well,

as Nietzsche says,

that which

does not kill us

only makes us

stronger.

Thanks...i think.

[Sighs]

Doreen:
that is a question

for the experts.

On a personal note, I would

just like to say to y'all

little Ronny

is so young...So young.

I don't know

what kind of god does this.

Thank you.

[Applause]

Dude, you're not

supposed to be in here.

...a substitution

in the entries.

Taking the place

of starla Grady

will be

Genevieve leplouff.

[Applause]

You got the wrong tape

for starla Grady.

Thomas:
Genevieve leplouff,

ladies and gentlemen,

with "missing girl."

[Applause and cheering]

Thanks, man.

Tonight, I'm standing in

for starla Grady,

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