Smokey and the Bandit Page #14

WAITRESS:

(coming on)

What's your pleasure?

BANDIT:

(quickly)

Couple of cheeseburgers, no

condiments...

WAITRESS:

No what?

BANDIT:

Nothing on 'em and two cups of mud;

one while I'm waiting.

Bandit crosses to a booth, as a couple of TRUCKERS enter and

join another TRUCKER sitting in the booth next to Bandit.

TRUCKER #1

Jesus, Richmond; you look like

squirrel sh*t.

TRUCKER #2

You wanna drive fourteen hundred

miles for these cheap bastards? I

feel like leaving my rig in the middle

of the highway and tellin' them to

kiss my antenna.

TRUCKER #1

I know what you mean, good buddy.

The Waitress comes over with Bandit's coffee. He pours in a

ton of sugar and stirs. As he takes a sip, he hears:

WOMAN'S VOICE (O.S.)

Hi.

Bandit whips around.

WHAT HE SEES:

Kate. Standing in front of him -- sans wedding dress. She's

now wearing tight jeans and a denim shirt with the bottom

rolled up and knotted above her midriff. She looks foxier

than ever.

KATE:

(with a southern drawl)

The bus ain't passin' through these

here parts for a piece.

(sliding into booth)

I know. You only have a second.

CLOSER ANGLE:

as they sit across from each other.

KATE:

They wouldn't take Master Charge so

I traded in my gown.

The Waitress comes by.

WAITRESS:

(snippy; to Kate)

Coffee?

KATE:

Please.

Bandit watches as she takes a sip.

KATE:

Jesus!!!

BANDIT:

Trucker coffee. It's three times

stronger. Good for a hundred miles.

That, a coupla perks, and you can

leap tall buildings in a single bound.

WAITRESS:

(calling O.S.)

Order up!

BANDIT:

That's me.

He gulps down a half a cup of coffee and rises.

BANDIT:

See ya, Kate.

KATE:

Ciao.

TRACK WITH BANDIT

moving quickly to the counter to pick up his order. Behind

him; we notice one of the Truckers from the next booth gets

up and crosses to Kate.

Bandit reaches in his pocket to pay for the order:

WAITRESS:

(seductive)

Sure I can't interest you in anything

else?

BANDIT:

(smiles)

Another time.

Bandit picks up his order and turns toward the door. He sees

the Trucker talking to Kate. The Trucker's buddies have turned

around in their booth and are all over her.

Bandit sets the food down on the counter and crosses to the

booth.

KATE:

(to Truckers)

-- Believe me, fellas; I'd love to

schmoos, but...

TRUCKER #1

Don't be so conceited. You don't

even know us.

TRUCKER #2

(an ugly dude)

To know us, is to love us.

Bandit steps between them.

BANDIT:

Hey, how y'all doin'?

TRUCKER #2

Who wants to know?

BANDIT:

Listen, guys; I'm in a rush. Otherwise

I'd arrange it so they had to carry

you outta here in doggie bags.

TRUCKER #1

You and what goddamn army?

The Truckers all turn to Bandit, ready to mop the floor with

him. The restaurant is silent, except for Willie Nelson, now

singing on the juke box. Every eye is on them. A brawl looks

inevitable.

KATE:

(worried)

Bandit, please...

TRUCKER #2

(totally surprised,

almost yelling)

Bandit?!? You're the Bandit? The

fella been runnin' the blue troopers

ragged?

Bandit looks around self-consciously. Nods.

TRUCKER #2

Lemme shake your hand, boy! You're

my new goddamn idol.

TRUCKER #1

(slapping Bandit on

the back)

You're the rage of CB land. We been

followin' you for hours.

TRUCKER #2

If we'da known you was the Bandit,

we wouldn't a never lipped off to

your old lady.

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote