Snowglobe Page #5

UH, TWO, ACTUALLY.

MIGHT WANT TO PICK UP

TWO MORE.

[distant carolers singing

DECK THE HALLS]

LA LA LA LA:

[somber music]

EDDIE, UM, I REALLY HATE

TO SAY THIS TO YOU,

AND IN FRONT OF MY WHOLE FAMILY.

I MEAN, I JUST MET YOU

AND EVERYTHING.

JUST--JUST SAY IT.

I'M GONNA KICK YOUR BUTT.

[cheering]

GO AHEAD!

GO AHEAD,

TAKE YOUR TURN!

DON'T RUSH ME!

PUT THE MONEY:

WHERE THE MOUTH IS.

COME ON!

ALL RIGHT.

(Donnie)

OOH, MAKE IT HAPPEN.

ALL RIGHT.

COME ON, ANGIE.

YOU COULD DO IT.

HEY, LOSER DOES THE DISHES.

THAT'D BE YOU.

YOU WERE FIRST OUT.

LET HER CONCENTRATE.

(Donnie)

COME ON, ANGIE.

(all)

OH!

JENGA!

[laughs]

WINNER AND NEW CHAMPION.

ALL RIGHT,

NEW GAME RIGHT NOW.

WE SET UP A NEW GAME

AND THAT ONE DOES

THE DISHES.

GET YOUR APRON ON

AND DO THE DISHES.

OH, NO-NO-NO.

I DON'T WANT HIM

NEAR MY NEW CHINA.

SEE, SHE DOESN'T EVEN WANT ME

TO DO THE DISHES.

BUT YOU CAN DO THE POTS.

I CAN'T DO THEM.

I GOT DELICATE HANDS.

DO THE POTS!

(Antonio)

STAY?

(Rose and Donnie)

STAY.

YOU KNOW, IN THREE MINUTES,

YOU'LL HAVE BROKEN THE RECORD.

MOST GUYS DON'T MAKE I THE FIRST HOUR.

REALLY?

YEAH!

YEAH!

WELL, I'M HAVING

A PRETTY GOOD TIME.

[laughs]

YOU KNOW, UH,

ME TOO.

NOW, YOU REALIZE WE GO A PRETTY BIG PROBLEM HERE.

WHAT'S THAT?

WELL...

YOUR FAMILY IS THE ONE

THAT SET THIS LITTLE...

THING UP TONIGHT.

SO UNLESS WE'RE CAREFUL,

THEY WILL INVITE ME BACK.

[gasps]

THAT'S A PROBLEM, ALL RIGHT.

[laughs]

OR MAYBE NOT.

[chattering on TV]

[giggling]

[whooshing sound]

ANGELA?

(Douglas)

MERRY CHRISTMAS.

DOUGLAS?

I THOUGHT YOU CHECKED

THE BEDROOM.

WHO'S DOUGLAS?

HI, I'M ANGELA'S BOYFRIEND.

KEEPING SECRETS:

FROM YOUR MOTHER?

IS HE FROM THE NEIGHBORHOOD?

(Gina)

WHEN DID YOU GE A BOYFRIEND?

YOU WAS IN THIS BEDROOM

THE WHOLE TIME?

ALL RIGHT, NOW, UH,

CAN YOU GUYS GIVE US

A MINUTE?

[door closes]

OH, THIS MUST BE TERRIBLY

AWKWARD FOR YOU.

SO WHEN DO YOU THINK

YOU COULD MOVE OUT?

HOW DID YOU GET OUT?

WELL, YOU DIDN'T COME BACK,

SO I JUST KEPT WALKING...

AND THEN I WAS HERE.

I-I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

WHY NOT?

YOU COME AND GO:

ALL THE TIME.

YEAH, BUT I'M REAL...

REAL HAPPY THAT YOU'RE HERE.

OH, ME TOO.

I WANT TO SEE EVERYTHING--

YOUR BAKERY,

YOUR INN,

YOUR POND--THE WHOLE THING.

AND I WANT TO MEET YOUR FAMILY.

WAS THAT THEM?

I HOPE THEY HAVEN'T GONE FAR.

I DON'T THINK WE HAVE

TO WORRY ABOUT THAT.

[all stuttering]

OH!

WHOA!

HI.

I'M DOUGLAS.

MERRY CHRISTMAS.

HMM?

UH, WHERE'S EDDIE?

HE HAD SOME THINGS

HE HAD TO TAKE CARE OF.

WHERE DID ANGELA

FIND YOU?

OH, WE MET WHEN ANGELA

CAME TO VISIT.

WHEN DID YOU GO ANYWHERE?

UH...

DOUGLAS IS FROM...

VERMONT.

WHEN DID YOU EVER GO

TO VERMONT?

OH...THAT ISN'T IMPORTANT.

HE'S HERE NOW.

TRY TO BE NICE.

EXCUSE ME.

WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?

YOU JUST BRING HOME

SOME GUY WE'VE NEVER MET?

MA, HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED

TO MEET THEM:

IF I DON'T BRING THEM HOME?

WE DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOU THIS MR. EAR MUFFS.

RIGHT, BECAUSE UNLIKE

EVERYBODY ELSE,

THIS GUY DIDN'T HAVE TO FILL OU A FOUR-PAGE QUESTIONNAIRE

TO GET INTO THE BUILDING.

THOSE ARE RENTAL APPLICATIONS.

HOW MANY BUILDING MANAGERS

REQUIRE A COMPLETE

DATING HISTORY?

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

LIKE A STEAM SHOVEL?

LIKE IN CONSTRUCTION?

A STEAM SHOVEL?

WHAT IS THIS,

THE ROARING '20S?

NO, IT'S JUST A REGULAR SHOVEL.

AND SO YOU WHAT--

YOU--YOU DIG DITCHES?

(Antonio)

THAT PAY WELL?

YOU CAN MAKE A LIVING

AT THAT?

(Douglas)

NOT DITCHES.

SNOW.

BUT I DON'T GET PAID--

HEY!

COME ON,

GIVE HIM SOME ROOM!

DOUGLAS, YOU DON'T HAVE

TO ANSWER ANY QUESTIONS.

YOU'RE MY GUEST.

OH, I DON'T MIND--

OH, NO ANSWERS.

UH, NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE US,

DOUGLAS AND I ARE GOING TO...

GO FOR A WALK.

TIME TO SHOW HIM

AROUND THE BIG CITY.

OH, GOOD!

(Angela)

COME ON.

ALL RIGHT.

JUST THE TWO OF US.

(Douglas)

HOLY COW!

THIS IS INCREDIBLE!

IT'S ALMOST LIKE

WE'RE OUTSIDE.

WE ARE OUTSIDE.

THEN WHERE'S THE SNOW?

RIGHT?

WHAT IS THAT?

THAT'S A FIRE HYDRANT.

WOW.

[bike bell dings]

WHAT'S THAT?

THAT'S A MAILBOX.

LOOK OUT!

AH!

[car horn wailing]

AND THAT WOULD BE A CAR.

[whistles]

TAXI!

[Sleigh Ride playing]

JUST HEAR THOSE:

SLEIGH BELLS JINGLING

RING TING A-LING

A-LING TING

LIGHTS!

FOR A SLEIGH RIDE TOGETHER

WITH YOU:

OUTSIDE THE SNOW IS FALLING

OH, LOOK UP THERE!

RING A-LING A-LING

A-LING TING TING

WHOA, JEEZ!

RING A-LING A-LING

A-DING DONG DING

OH, LOOK AT THE CHRISTMAS TREES!

OUR CHEEKS ARE NICE AND ROSY

AND COMFY AND COZY ARE WE

LET'S SNUGGLE UP TOGETHER

LIKE BIRDS OF A FEATHER

WOULD BE:

LET'S TAKE THE ROAD

BEFORE US:

AND SING A CHORUS OR TWO

COME ON IT'S LOVELY WEATHER

FOR A SLEIGH RIDE TOGETHER

WITH YOU:

RING A-LING A-LING

A-DING DONG DING

RING A-LING A-LING

A-DING DONG DING

HAPPY CHRISTMAS:

(Douglas)

WHO'S THAT?

I DON'T KNOW HIM.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

I'M DOUGLAS.

THIS IS ANGELA.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

UH, DOUGLAS.

I'M DOUGLAS.

HEY, MERRY CHRISTMAS,

GUYS.

DO YOU KNOW ANGELA?

UH, DOUGLAS.

YEAH, WHATEVER.

PLEASE, THIS IS NO THE SNOW GLOBE.

WHAT?

UH, NEVER MIND.

COMIN' THROUGH!

JUST DON'T TALK

TO STRANGERS, OKAY?

OKAY.

YEAH.

[laughs]

PUT YOUR FOOT HERE.

OH, I--

OH, COME ON.

NO, IT'S FUN.

IT'S FUN.

YEAH, PUT YOUR FOOT HERE.

UGH.

NO NO NO NO.

NO, I CAN'T.

COME ON.

DON'T BE AFRAID.

ONE TIME.

READY?

THIS IS FUN.

THERE YOU GO.

UH...

UM, STAND UP.

YEAH.

AH.

OKAY, SEE THAT?

STAND UP.

STAND UP.

HERE, NOW PICK UP

YOUR FOOT.

UH...

YEP.

THERE YOU GO!

[Christmas music playing]

CLAIRE!

HEY!

I WANT YOU TO MEET DOUGLAS.

DOUGLAS?

YOU KNOW, DOUGLAS.

UH...UH...

MERRY CHRISTMAS, CLAIRE.

UH, MERRY CHRISTMAS.

WELL, WE GOTTA GO.

BYE!

BYE!

EXCUSE ME,

DO YOU CARRY SNOW GLOBES?

OH, NO.

COME ON, YOU CAN DO IT.

AH!

SEE?

YEAH.

(Douglas)

LOOK AT ALL THOSE PRESENTS.

(Angela)

YEAH, IT'S NICE.

OH, SHOES.

UH-UH.

[grunts]

SORRY.

I'LL JUST--

I'LL GO AROUND

THAT WAY.

HEY!

STOP!

GET BACK HERE!

[huffing]

DOUGLAS!

DOUGLAS!

HE DOESN'T KNOW.

COME ON.

[Christmas music playing]

AAH!

HEY!

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU TOO.

MERRY CHRISTMAS.

(Douglas)

BUT WHY?

BECAUSE THAT'S JUS NOT HOW IT'S DONE HERE, OKAY?

MERRY CHRISTMAS.

CHANGE?

OH, THANKS.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

HEY!

SORRY.

WOW, THAT WAS GREAT.

MUST BE KIND OF OVERWHELMED.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

I MEAN WHEN I FIRST CAME

TO VISIT YOU,

IT BLEW MY MIND.

AND YOUR VILLAGE IS, WELL,

TINY.

YOU--YOU JUST DISCOVERED

THIS WHOLE OTHER WORLD.

YEAH, I GUESS.

YOU GUESS?

AREN'T YOU HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL

CRISIS OR SOMETHING?

UH, YEAH,

I'M HAVING ONE OF THOSE.

AND I LOVED THAT HOT DOG.

WELL, GO ON AND MAKE YOURSELF

AT HOME:

WHILE I, UH,

CHANGE INTO SOMETHING

A LITTLE MORE COMFORTABLE.

IS IT ALMOST BEDTIME?

YES.

I GUESS IT IS.

OH, GOODY!

[sighs]

ALL RIGHT,

SO THINGS AREN'T GOING

AS WELL AS YOU'D HOPED.

BUT HE'S PERFEC IN SO MANY WAYS.

WELL, SOME--

SOME WAYS.

YOU CAN STILL MAKE THIS WORK.

DOUGLAS?

[snores]

DOUGLAS.

[snores, grumbles]

[sighs]

HOT DOGS.

[distant car horn honks]

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