Something's Gotta Give Page #6

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- I just kissed you, and I...

- No, honey.

I kissed you.

I know that one was me.

Try not to keep score.

- Soft lips.

- I'm so glad they still work.

I haven't used them for kissing

in such a long time.

More like for, you know,

wearing lipstick and whistling and...

Well, well. Now look who's

got something that works.

You didn't even take any Viagra...

Kiss me before you make it go away.

This could be world-class interesting.

Having any doubts?

Yes.

Me too.

But so far...

...the kissing is spectacular.

I'm not grading you,

I'm just mentioning it. Like...

Like, brilliant.

I can't get past your damn turtleneck.

Cut it off. Please.

Please!

Cut it off.

Please.

- Aren't you full of surprises?

- Yeah.

Yeah.

Yes.

You're beautiful.

Open your eyes so I know

you hear me.

Beautiful.

What about birth control?

Menopause.

Who's the lucky boy?

Okay. Okay.

I think we should take

your blood pressure.

- My blood pressure?

- I think it's irresponsible not to.

- Nobody but you would stop...

- Yeah, so you're lucky.

Oh, God, I can't...

I can't see.

- My glasses.

- Okay.

120l80! Oh, baby!

Oh, my God.

I do like sex.

- You certainly do.

- Wow!

Oh, God.

So this is what you're supposed to do

on a rainy afternoon, huh?

I really thought I was...

...sort of closed up for business.

I never expected this.

Nothing's ever surprised me more.

This is crazy.

I can't remember

the last time I cried. I...

I think I'm overwhelmed.

Me too.

That's the perfect word.

Baby, I had sex three days

after a heart attack, and I didn't die.

That's gotta be some kind of a record.

Yeah.

Let's just not brag about this

to your doctor, okay?

Honey.

I may not be many things,

but one thing I am is discreet.

Yeah.

Erica?

Erica.

Yeah?

Erica?

You know I'm not good

at being monogamous, right?

Monogamous?

Please. I hardly know you.

But why Paris?

I just always wanted to

write a play that ended there.

People need that romance, and if

someone like me doesn't write it...

...where will they get it? Real life?

- Excuse me?

What do you call this?

Eating eggs by candlelight,

in our robes...

...after...

Sorry.

So where do you like to eat in Paris?

I love this bistro called

The Grand Colbert.

It's behind the Palais-Royal. It's the

best roast chicken in the universe.

You'd be fun to go to Paris with.

It is the best city

to stay up all night in.

Hey, when is your birthday?

- February.

- Well, mine's January.

So how about if we still know

each other by then, we go to Paris...

...for our birthdays, huh?

Maybe.

You just said... You know something,

I have no idea how to do this.

I don't know how to be intimate

but not intimate.

The color is draining from your face.

Okay, I'm gonna pee, take one of

your blood-pressure pills...

...and when I get back,

let's not talk anymore.

Erica.

You're the funniest girl

I ever had sex with.

Well, that's something.

Honey.

I think I should go back to my room.

- Let you get some sleep.

- Let me sleep?

Yeah.

Right.

You usually send the girls home.

But I am home.

- Okay.

- Well, I'm an old dog, you know?

Hey.

It's perfectly... Whatever.

This was...

This was...

...a great night...

...for me.

Me too.

Yeah?

At one point...

...I even thought...

...soul mates.

Good night.

I'd like to try sleeping with you.

Oh, my God!

Hi.

What time do you think it is?

Can you see this?

Not really. It looks like it says...

...11?

- It is 11.

- It is?

No way. It can't be.

Oh, my God, that would mean

we slept eight hours?

- Impossible.

- Yeah.

Oh, Nellie.

A little dizzy.

Oh, no. Okay, now, you just...

You just stay still.

There you go. Here's the clicker.

You have a doctor's appointment

in an hour.

I'll make us some coffee,

get you your pills...

...whip us up some french toast.

I have the best maple syrup ever.

Erica.

You are a woman to love.

"You are... "

"You are a woman to love. "

What the hell does that mean?

Okay, buddy, your echo

looks real good.

I'm sending you back to the city.

Past few days

have done wonders for you.

Yeah, I've been working on

that stair thing.

I can do it, by the way.

Do what?

Climb a flight of stairs.

Several times, actually.

Way to go.

So how's Erica?

Erica, as it turns out...

...is an amazing woman.

- She's just...

- Well, that's wonderful.

I think she's wonderful.

I think she's wonderful too.

Give her my best.

Julian?

Thank you...

...for everything.

You're gonna be okay.

I am?

This is the second time

I've done this.

I get overcome or something.

It's so out of the blue.

It's common to become emotional

after having an episode like you had.

Everything takes on a new meaning.

So it's not crazy for a guy

to do something...

...so totally out of character

after having a heart attack.

You mean like crying?

Yeah.

And completely changing their taste.

Like, suddenly...

...really liking something that you

never thought you could ever like.

Ever.

- It's unnerving.

- You can expect anything right now.

People have done some wild things

after having a heart attack.

But most people go back to

being themselves, right?

I'm gonna go back to being me...

...aren't I?

We'll see.

Here you go.

You can have these back now.

I confiscated them

on your first night here.

- Thank you, darling.

- Try not to smoke them.

And I packed you a sandwich,

just in case your blood sugar got low...

...and some of that iced tea you like,

a low-cholesterol cookie and a peach.

What a doll.

Got something else?

Something to remember me by.

- There is that.

- And, hey...

...we'll always have Paris.

Bad joke.

- Honey?

- Yeah?

No words can ever

express my gratitude...

...for taking me in...

...and taking care of me and...

- Hey. Your heart attack...

...could be the best thing

that ever happened to me.

- I love ya.

- I love you too.

If that's what you said.

I don't know if it ends in a "ya"

if it's an official "I love you," but...

You're not like anybody.

- I knew you'd call.

- Who? It's me.

- What's wrong?

- Had breakfast with Dad.

We're talking, and he starts

looking weird and tells me...

...he met someone three weeks ago,

that it's really something.

And then he...

He tells me he's getting married.

Why am I reacting this way?

I'm almost 30 years old.

- Wait, wait. Who is he marrying?

- I don't know.

Some chick he met three weeks ago.

She's two years older than me.

She's an ear, nose and throat

doctor. Has he lost his mind?

- Honey...

- I have a huge auction tonight...

...and I'm really upset.

My shrink's away for two weeks.

Can you come in? I know

you're working, but just, please?

I get that he has a right to get

remarried, but he doesn't know her.

She's my age.

Do you know what that's like?

That's, like, beyond creepy.

It's not like I think he's

replacing me. I know he isn't.

I know I'm too old

to act like this, it's nuts.

First of all, please don't smoke.

If he is replacing anyone, it's me,

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