Something's Gotta Give Page #8

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- I've gotten abnormally brilliant at it.

- Why? What is it?

I'm in love.

Ain't it great?

Seems like I gotta learn

how to do that...

...love-them-and-leave-them stuff,

you know?

Oh, Mom, I hate this.

Now do you get my theory about

all this? You gotta self-protect.

You don't really buy this stuff

you say, do you?

You don't actually think that you

can outsmart getting hurt?

- I think it's worth trying.

- Listen to me.

You can't hide from love

for the rest of your life...

...because maybe

it won't work out...

...maybe you'll become unglued?

It's just not a way to live.

Are you telling me this is good?

I think you should consider

the possibility...

...that you and I are more alike

than you realize.

I let someone in,

and I had the time of my life.

I've never had the time of my life.

I know, baby.

And I say this...

...from the deepest part

of my heart.

What are you waiting for?

- Hey!

- Great party.

Thank you. My pleasure.

- Hey.

- Hey, good to see you.

You having fun?

Not quite.

I got you something great

at the farm stand.

These are for you to give me

when you apologize.

Julian, I hope you know how mortified

I am by my behavior.

I was gonna get in touch

or send a note.

- A note?

- A note.

- That's a little chilly.

- Well...

...I'm embarrassed.

I just haven't been myself lately.

What can I say?

Just tell me you're sorry.

I am sorry.

Then you could kiss me.

Kiss you?

You're gonna forgive me

if I kiss you?

I think so.

No one on earth would forgive

you for that kiss.

May I?

I forgive you.

Yes!

- It's the best thing you've ever written.

- It is?

- It's wonderful.

- It is?

Yes, it's sweet,

it's smart, it's funny...

How great is it for you that I'm not

intimidated by your brilliance?

Must we go through this every time?

Come here. Come here.

Good. That's very good.

Anyway, you know

what I'm gonna do?

Oh. Oh, my God!

Oh, I gotta tell you.

I'm totally excited

about this audition.

It's such a great part. Supporting,

but she's a really funny character.

There's this totally hilarious scene

where she's dating this older...

...chauvinistic guy.

Just as they're

about to do it, he moans.

And so she's just thinking that he's,

like, really into her...

...except he's having a

heart attack.

She's, like, totally creeped out...

...and her mom, who basically

despises the guy, rushes in...

...and gives him CPR

and saves his life.

Are you okay?

Isn't that funny?

Hold on, hold on.

Let's not get so dramatic here.

What are we, four teenagers?

We're all sophisticated people.

Why can't we all stay

for the weekend?

Your mother has work to do,

I've got papers to grade.

You do what you're going to do,

whatever that might be...

I need to talk to you.

- Together, and if we don't,

we don't.

Got a minute?

So your play is about us?

- No, it's about me.

- Am I in it?

Well, a guy like you is in it,

but he's not you.

What happens

to this guy who's not me?

I haven't totally decided.

He can...

He can live, or he can die.

- What are you leaning towards?

- Death.

- It's funnier.

- Fine.

He dies of a funny heart attack.

He's a schmuck, who screwed around

with our heroine, so it won't be sad.

Schmucks are people too, you know?

Death doesn't seem

a little harsh to you?

I went where the story took me. It's a

work of fiction, stuff that I made up.

They're ready to do the hospital

"Do you take Viagra?" scene.

- Should we wait for you?

- Yeah. That's good. That's fine.

So I'm gonna be

the laughing stock of Broadway?

Harry, he's not you.

He's a version of the truth

of you, so to speak.

Dave wants to know

when Henry says, "I love ya"...

...you want that to be "ya,"

not "you," right?

Right.

Well, you look really nice.

Thank you.

- Are you feeling all right?

- You know...

...it isn't like I wanted

to stop seeing you.

We could've carried on

a fun thing for a while.

Why is it that you broads

want all or nothing?

I don't know.

We're just goofy

when it comes to love.

Harry, if it's all right with you...

...I'd like to be friends.

I'm not ready to be your friend.

How's that?

Fine. I understand.

Anyway, do you actually

buy that horseshit?

That men and women can be friends

once they've had sex?

I'm friends with my ex-husband,

but we didn't just have sex.

We didn't just have sex either.

Then what was it? I'd love to know.

Can I e-mail it to you

when I figure it out?

Okay. Okay.

Just moving into another phase

with this thing. I'm mad at you.

- I think I'm mad at you too.

- Excellent!

Because I don't like thinking

about you so much...

...and worrying about how you are

and if I ruined your life.

- You've worried about me?

- Yes, honey.

The schmuck...

...who deserves to die...

...worries about you.

Sometimes worrying about you

feels like a full-time job.

Well, doll, I'm doing great.

So you don't have

to work that shift anymore.

Erica? They want you to look at

the costumes for the dancing Henrys.

Are these gonna work for you?

- Mr. Sanborn, back so soon?

- This is it, I'm dying.

I've had 20 minutes of severe chest

pains, nausea, shortness of breath...

...my blood pressure's

gotta be 170l100.

Give me the nitro,

I didn't take Viagra.

Plug me into an EKG.

I'm taking two beta-blockers...

...blood thinners, Lipitor, Procardia.

If I were you,

I'd pound on my chest.

Mr. Sanborn. Your diagnosis, although

fascinating, was entirely incorrect.

- Impossible!

- Do you realize...

...that a severe anxiety attack

can masquerade as a heart attack?

So I'm nuts.

Perfect. The one thing

I'm not taking pills for.

If you don't wanna

be here every week...

...I suggest you do whatever it takes

to decompress. Now lie down.

Just try something with me.

Come on.

Give me your hand.

Relax, relax.

All right, close your eyes.

Okay, good. I want you

to give yourself a visual...

Both eyes.

I want you to give yourself

a visual image...

...of something that gives you

a feeling of peace and serenity.

I don't know. What?

- A hammock.

- Good.

- What else?

- Palm trees.

Clear, blue water.

What else do you see? Feel?

Taste?

A peach margarita.

A Cuban cigar.

Miles...

...of soft beach.

I couldn't believe you were calling

from downstairs. You have a beard!

- It's great to see you.

- You couldn't look better.

Thank you. Well, come on in.

No, no. I just wanted

to stop by and say hi...

...and tell you I'm sorry if I ever did

anything that wasn't on the up and up.

What do you mean?

You were great to me.

- I was?

- Always.

That's refreshing. Good.

Well, I don't know what

you've done to yourself...

...but you look absolutely radiant.

I'm three months pregnant. That

might have something to do with it.

- Really?

- Yeah.

- Who's the lucky guy?

- My husband.

Hold on because he really wants

to meet you. Danny.

Harry Sanborn,

this is my husband, Danny Benjamin.

- Heard so much about you.

- I bet.

Well, you know,

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