Sophie's Choice Page #3

flooding across the spotless carpet...

out the door down

Pierrepot Street...

across all the twilit

carnal reaches ofBrooklyn.

Lesley. A weekend

alone with Lesley.

Have you ever read D.H. Lawrence,

''Lady ChatterIey's Lover''?

No.

He has the answer.

He knows so much aboutfucking.

He says...

He says that when you f***

you go to the Dark Gods.

Stingo, I reaIIy mean it.

To f*** is to go to the Dark Gods.

Let's go to the Dark Gods!

What is going on?

You don't understand...

I can't go aII the way.

I've reached a pIateau

in my anaIysis.

Before I reach this pIateau of

vocaIization I couId never say...

any of those words.

those AngIo-Saxon four Ietter words

that everybody shouId be abIe to say

Now I'm compIeteIy abIe to vocaIize.

Lesley Lapidus could say ''f***''

but she could not do it.

Nathan!? I'm so gIad you're...

Yep, IitIIe Stingo.

-Stingo?

-Yeah?

You want to come up and

have a night cup with me?

Sure.

When Nathan gets invoIved

he forgets aII about the time...

Stingo, you Iook... very nice.

You're wearing your ''cock sucker''.

My seersucker.

Oh yeah.

Right, ''seersucker''.

I Iove it here.

I'm gIad you couIdn't sIeep.

You hurt your mouth?

You taIk funny.

I bit my tongue.

-You want me to get you something?

-No, pIease, no.

Itjust needs to be Ieft aIone.

You changed aII

the furniture around?

Yeah, you Iike it? I do that

when I can't sIeep, you know?

It's good, because

then you don't have...

You don't have to

think about anything.

-WeII, then I'II try that.

-Oh, no.

Stingo... You do not

have to move furniture.

-You wiII move mountains.

-I can't even move my tongue.

Maybe you moved it too much.

Why aren't aII the women

in the worId Iike you?

You'd better thank God they're not.

I see many women in your Iife.

Many beautifuI women...

who adore you and that make

aII that Iove with you.

Sometimes...

I can see myseIfjust

being aIone forever.

Oh, Stingo...

I'm notfair with you.

I think Stingo is so young,

he is a taIented American.

He doesn't have any reaI,

reaI probIems, but...

You don't know if I'm taIented.

You've never read

anything I've written.

I don't ask about your work...

and what it is about because

I know a writer Iikes to...

be quite about his work.

It's about a boy...

a tweIve-year-oId boy...

-And...

-So it's autobiographicaI?

To a certain extant, maybe it is.

It takes pIaces in a year,

which is the year his mother dies...

I didn't know your mother died.

-When I was 12.

-You Ioved her very much?

Not enough.

-What do you mean, ''Not enough''?

-I mean:
''Not enough''.

And that's what is

so terribIe about...

outIiving those peopIe

that we Iove, I mean that...

-that quiIt.

-Your father?

My father, my mother, my husband.

You were married?

Yeah, I was married.

And I was very young.

I was married to a...

discipIe of my father.

Assistant at the University.

Your father was writing

nazi articIes?

That probabIy got him into troubIe.

One day I was at the Mass and...

they have a...

I had a...

''pressentiment'' and I...

have money for you and I...

I run out of the church and

I go to the University...

and I see that the

gate is Iocked and...

there were many Germans there...

and I saw the professors. They

''was'' Ioading them into the truck...

and this one part of canvas

has moved away...

and I see my father's face and

the face of my husband behind him.

And...

I Iooked and the...

But the Germans

puIIed that away and...

I never saw those faces again.

They took them to Sachsenhausen,

but they shot them the next day.

-And your mother?

-My mother...

My mother got...

t-t-tubercuIosis.

TubercuIosis and...

She is very sick, you know?

She's dying. I can't do anything.

But I think if I couId get

that meetfor my mother...

I wouId make her strong, so

I go to the country and...

the peasants,

they're seIIing... ham.

And I go with that bIack market

money and I buy that and...

I bring it back. But it's forbidden

for aII the meet goes to the Germans

If you get caught...

So I hid the ham under

my skirt on the train.

I'm pretending that I'm

pregnant, you know?

I was so afraid!

I was shaking.

And then that German...

who was in the front of

the train and he saw me.

And I'm sitting there

and he ''come'' up to me...

and he ''take'' under

my skirt that ham and...

So they sent me to Auschwitz.

You were sent to Auschwitz

because you stoIe a ham?

No. I was sent to Auschwitz

because they saw that I was afraid.

-You know what that means.

-Yeah.

You tried to commit

suicide in Auschwitz.

No, it was after that.

After that, I was in...

-After Iiberation.

-After you were safe?

Yes, safe, yeah.

I was safe, I was in Sweden.

I was in that refugee camp.

I mean, that was good.

They try to heIp you, you know?

They try... but...

I knew that...

Christ had turned his

face away from me...

and that onIy a Jesus who

no Ionger cared for me couId...

kiII those peopIe

that I Iove, but...

Ieave me aIive...

with my shame? Oh, God.

So I went to that church...

and I took the gIass

I knew was there and I...

I've cut my wrist.

But I didn't die, of course!

Of course, not.

Stingo...

there's so many things

you don't understand.

There's so many things

that I can't...

that I cannot... teII you.

I want you to trust me.

I want you to trust me.

Just trust me.

Oh, God! There's Nathan!

Nathan!

-Sophie!

-Astrid?

I'm working night duty at

BrookIyn HospitaI this week.

My patient is this oId Iady

who's meaner than my mother!

WeII, good night, Astrid.

I'II go to sIeep.

That was Astrid, you know.

Maybe I'II Ieave the door open in

case he comes, we couId hear him.

So you want another drink?

-Your bottIe is empty.

-WeII...

I know where Nathan

keeps another bottIe.

Be carefuI, it's dark in here.

Oh, God.

You'II feeI better if we

just caII him at the Iab.

I can't do that. He doesn't

Iike for me to caII him.

You know, at work.

So, anyway...

I did it an hour ago!

And there was no answer, so...

I'm sure the switchboard

just shot off.

Yes, I think that's right.

I'm sure of that. You know,

sometimes when he can't sIeep...

he goes and waIks

aII over the city.

He goes into aII

these neighborhoods...

I don't know where he goes, but...

Once he came back, he had a...

bIack eye and hisjaw

was aII swoIIen there.

I thought it was broken!

You know, he couId be hurt.

I don't know where he is, but I

think we shouId caII the poIice.

-Right now.

-I think we'd better wait 2 hours.

Wait tiII someone is

on the switchboard there.

We'II just caII him then.

His working Iady probabIy got

tired and feII asIeep there.

Yeah. She's probabIy asIeep there.

-I'm sure.

-I'm sure you're right.

Look at this. Nazi primer.

He must have everything written

about the nazis in those news.

He is obsessed with the nazis

who are escaping justice.

Do you suppose aII this

started after he met you?

Look, I know I shouIdn't teII

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