Southside

---

[Foreboding instrumental music]

(man)

Over my limit?

[Woman laughing]

Yes, you are.

(man)

It's good.

[Both laughing]

(man)

You know what?

I'm f***ing sick of the music

that they play at the club.

I am, because

you can't really...

You just can't dance right

to it, you know?

[Chuckling]

Yeah.

I'm sick...

And there's

the f***ing girls up there.

Are you kidding me?

Horrible.

Oh, Christ.

Hey, did you

f*** Lenny?

No.

You f***ed Lenny,

didn't you?

No, I didn't.

You don't have

to lie to me.

I heard all about it.

It's all over

on the street.

You know Lenny

has crabs, right?

No, he doesn't.

I'm f***ing serious.

Everybody knows

that Lenny has crabs.

No, he doesn't.

You're lying.

Did you give him

a Handy Andy?

No.

Please tell me

you didn't give,

because the Handy Andy's

my thing.

You swear you never

gave Lenny a Handy?

I swear.

Eileen, you are

a f***ing girl

after my own hard-on.

Oof!

Uhhh.

Uhn!

Sounds like a f***in'

flounder, don't he?

Uhn!

Uh!

Sweetie, want some of this?

[Laughs]

She just wants

some beauty sleep, fuckwad.

(Eileen)

Help!

[Car engine revving]

[Tires squealing]

Uh.

Oh, sh*t.

Jacko,

are you all right?

Uh.

F*** off.

Oof.

F*** off

yourself.

[Groaning]

Oh, Christ.

Oh, ho.

Oh, I may need

to stop f***ing her.

Oh.

[Spits]

Travis!

Travis!

[Snickering]

[Coughs]

Travis!

(man)

Jacko!

(Jacko)

Trav!

Jacko!

What are you...

What's up, man?

[Laughs]

What the f***

are you doing?

Oh, man.

I'm fine.

[Laughing]

I'm fine.

I'm f***ed up, man.

I know.

You're a...

You're a smart one,

Trav.

[Spits]

Oh!

Get your motor

runnin'.

Oh, man, come on.

Give me a break

with that stuff.

Head out

on the highway!

Lookin'

for adventure.

Where the f***'s

the car?

I don't know.

[Metal jingling]

I got the keys,

though.

[Wheezing laughter]

I think

I misplaced my date.

Goddamn it, Jacko.

Oh.

What are we gonna tell

your old man this time?

We can just tell him

to f***ing bring it on.

It's... it's f***in'

kick-Jacko's-ass night tonight.

Everybody knows it.

Shut up.

F*** him.

Probably,

you'll f***in'...

you'll think

of something.

Uh-oh, I'll think

of something.

Mm-hmm.

All right.

You're my best friend.

Yeah, of...

I'm your only f***in'

friend, all right?

I mean, who else would hang out

with a wacko like you?

Do you love me?

Yeah.

Yeah.

You know it.

You may not show it

all the time,

but you f***in'

love me.

[Travis laughs]

(Jacko)

Hey, do you remember Eileen?

I almost got a f***in'

Handy Andy from her tonight.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

Dude, she's...

she's great.

I f***in' love Eileen.

[Throat scrapes]

[Spits]

Sh*t.

F***in' dead

next week.

Here you go.

Go for it.

[Spits]

(Jacko)

Oh, that was a f***in'

piss-poor spit, wasn't it?

The color's

good though.

Yeah, come on.

Come on.

[Spits]

Yeah.

Let's get

your ass home.

(Jacko)

F***in' Dumiak did this sh*t,

this f***in'...

bullshit.

Hey!

Who cares, man?

F***in' hate him.

Hey, how'd

he get you, anyway?

He was hiding.

[Chuckling]

He was

a hiding f*ggot.

Let me tell

you something, man.

Northsiders,

they're all faggots, all right?

Oh, f*** all

of them.

Trav?

Yeah.

I...

like...

to...

f*** and f***

and f*** and f***

and f*** and f***

and f*** and f***

and f*** and f***.

F***, f***,

f***, f***!

(man)

Shut up, a**holes!

Hey, f*** you, man!

Who the f***

was that?

[Police siren chirps]

Hold it right there, girls.

F***.

Playing games again,

O'Malley?

I cut myself

shaving.

Maybe you better

grow a beard.

I could

grow a beard.

I thought you were training

for your fight.

This is my training.

I'm just

carrying him home.

I thought you were a lot smarter

than this.

Get out of here before

I kick your skinny ass too.

Oh, Trav.

Bring it on,

you sack of sh*t.

Let's f***ing go.

I got this,

Fletch.

Just let me take him,

all right?

(Jacko)

Let's f***in' go.

Come on.

You stupid

piece of sh*t.

F*** him, Trav.

(woman)

Ach.

It's bad enough you're boxing.

They had to sheer you

like a sheep.

Yeah, well,

when I'm champ,

I'll grow it down

to my shoulders.

Yeah, so some girl

can come along and clip it off.

What are you

talking about?

You're my girl.

Come on.

[Man coughing]

[Sniffs]

You're up,

honey.

Sounds like goddamn

Jerry Springer in here.

You off to play

at the gym already.

Would you

like some juice?

Travis, Travis,

no, please, please.

Travis, no,

please, please.

Travis!

No.

Please.

Please.

Yeah.

There's your big hero,

gonna take you away

from all this.

Big f***in' mistake

is what it was.

I could still

kick your ass!

Do you hear me?

I could still

kick your ass,

and don't think

I can't!

Big f***in' boxer.

[Gasps]

[Laughs]

Hey, Trav.

You're early today.

I couldn't wait

to see you.

Oh, yeah?

You just wanted

something in your mouth.

Hmm.

[Chuckles]

Here, stick this in.

Mm-hmm.

Sh*t.

Mm.

I'm seeing you

tonight, right?

You're

seeing me now.

[Chuckles]

We don't

want these, ah,

falling down

on the street, do we?

Huh?

Mm-mm.

Mm.

[Laughs]

Oh, off to

the gym, baby.

Get us out of here.

[Blues music]

(men)

Yeah!

(man #1)

Hey, hey, hey.

Hey, hey,

gentlemen,

how... how many was of them

Northside faggots

was it

at the Blue Moon?

Three, four,

or what?

Ten.

(man #1)

Ten!

(man #2)

Ten of those f***ers.

(man #1)

Ten of those...

(man #2)

In their own bar too.

Yeah, Rickey Bailey, his bunch,

all 12 of them.

Here we go.

Tom O'Malley...

versus 14

of them...

on his own too.

No backup

or nothin'.

No backup

or nothing.

20 of you

Northside faggots...

And I go plowin'

into you.

And I go plowin'

into you.

One, two, three,

you're next!

Through

the window.

Through

the window.

The bar.

Over the bar.

(both)

Bodies flyin' everywhere...

(both)

Savin' Bailey for last!

[Drunken laughter]

Yeah?

Yeah.

I'm outta here, Pop.

Oh, no, no, no, no...

hey, oh.

Have another.

I can't.

I mean, I'm supposed

to meet Travis at the gym.

You want me

to come with you?

[As baby talk]

Keep the bullies away?

[Snickering]

F*** off, Pop.

Hey, is that any way

to talk to your father?

You should have

more respect.

Never spend any time

together anymore.

He's gettin' old,

you know?

Come on.

All right.

Pour it like

you don't own it.

[Tapping]

(man)

Come on, fellas.

Come on, come on.

[Grunts]

[Snorts]

(man)

Hey, stop

dancin' around

like a couple of goddamn girls,

all right?

Jesus Christ,

come on.

Come on, Skids, make him work,

will you?

Make him f***in' work.

Make him work for Christ sakes,

come on.

You guys are like a bunch

of pansies out there.

Come on.

That's it.

[Men grunting]

That's it.

All right, break,

break, break, fellas.

Come on,

get out of there.

That's it.

[Echoey]

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

[Sonorous pounding]

Ah, hey.

Hey, Travis,

Jesus.

Hey, hey,

hey, hey, hey!

Hey, hey,

hey, hey, hey!

Easy, Travis, easy!

Easy!

Come on!

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