St. Elmo's Fire Page #2

of everything else.

You're always coming to my rescue.

What can I say?

I won't come

between two old roommates.

Good night.

Thanks, guys.

What's the meaning of life?

Dale Biberman.

Who?

Dale Biberman. Didn't you

see her at the hospital?

The girl I was in love

with when we were freshmen.

She's about yea tall.

Long dark hair, beautiful face.

Remember that big fountain?

The one on main campus that says...

..."Knowledge, Art, Religion, Life"?

We walked past that...

...she was sitting

on the "Life" side...

...and she just smiled at me.

What? You took her to one movie.

Kevin, there are several

quintessential moments in a man's life:

Losing his virginity,

getting married...

...fatherhood and the right girl

smiling at you.

I'm not going another year finding

your unmailed love-scratchings around.

I have her hospital schedule.

- It's true love, my friend.

- You know what love is?

An illusion created by lawyers to

perpetuate the illusion of marriage...

...and the reality of divorce

and the need for divorce lawyers.

I just can't deal with

the little missis. Can I crash?

You know, there are more

people in law school now...

...than there are lawyers

on the entire planet.

You're just bitter because

you have not had sex in, how long?

A year? Refresh my memory. Haven't

you heard of the sexual revolution?

Who won? Huh? Nobody.

Sex used to be a free thing.

No more. Alimony. Palimony.

- It's all financial, an illusion.

- It's the only one that counts.

- Says who?

- Anyone who's been in love.

Love sucks.

So does your attitude.

Thank you.

You should have brought the red dress.

Red drives men wild.

Hi, beautiful. Like Porsches?

See?

I have a madman in my life already.

It's good, isn't it? I like it.

It's interesting.

I forgot to spin at the end.

All right, I'll see you in a bit.

Hey, Jules. Hey, how about a lift?

- Hi, baby.

- Missed you.

How'd you do?

Well, thanks to Alec, I am now

an official pollster.

Who wants to suck back a few

bloody Marys at St. Elmo's, on me?

- No. I have to work.

- Since when do you work on Saturdays?

Since he started volunteer

moonlighting for Senator Hodges.

Why is the president of

Georgetown's Young Democrats...

...working for a Republican?

Moving up, Kirbo.

- Let's get trashed anyway!

- For a change.

- You haven't seen it since I moved in.

- You moved in too?

I only remember 800 pairs of shoes.

So what do you think?

Very subtle.

And very pink.

Jules.

Where do you get

the money for all this?

Why do you think God invented credit?

For fabulous people like me.

Would you fix us a drink?

Kev, I knew you'd like it.

You have such sensitivity.

Oh, by the way, I want you

to meet my decorator, Ron.

He's so fabulous, and he lives

right across the hall.

Ron?

Sit down. Let's relax.

Jules, why do I feel like

I'm not here by accident?

I have been needing to talk to you.

I see one of our infamous

conversations is coming.

Like when you decided

I was adopted.

Remember that?

I still think your mother's

hiding something from you.

Kevin, I'm curious.

You know all those nights

we stayed up talking?

How come you never made a pass at me?

What?

Don't you find me attractive?

You know you're the only guy at school

who never made a pass at me?

Well, I never joined the Army either.

Kev, you've got a problem.

You're gay, and you're

madly in love with Alec.

I see.

It's okay. We all love Alec.

He's our hero.

But he's very, very straight.

And very taken.

Jules, there's the brink of insanity,

and then there is the abyss...

- ...which you have fallen into.

- Don't be ashamed.

- Gay became chic in the '70s.

- No, I'm not ashamed.

I am not gay.

And I am not staying.

Kevin!

Look at me. Are you hard? No.

Let me just introduce you to Ron.

He's gay too, and he's so fabulous.

Ron, Kevin's here!

Kevin, wait, please.

I've seen enough pink for today,

thank you very much.

He's just not ready to face

reality yet. I'll get back to you.

Please.

Excuse me, sir.

We do not open until 11.

That's cool. I'll wait.

Do you have a reservation?

It's for Keager. Party of two,

1:
00. And I want this table.

I'd be very happy to find

a lovely table for you...

...but this is a table for four.

Well, then I'll pay double.

You could order a nice

Napa Valley chardonnay.

Or if she's worth it,

get an import to impress her.

Well, money's no object.

Really?

Then Montrachet or Meursault.

And make sure you smell the cork.

So who is she?

Never mind.

Thank God it's payday!

Jules, you're advanced

on your salary by two months.

- I have no check for you.

- Thanks, Jules. I owe you.

That's good because

I owe everyone else.

Judy, I have to pay for my stepmom's

funeral, then I'll catch up.

I'm afraid you'll have to speak

with Forrester Davidson.

The president of the bank?

I'm sorry I'm late.

Thank you.

- Have you been waiting long?

- Just got here.

The food is great here.

Yes, and I'll be having alfalfa

sprouts and a plate of mashed yeast.

You're vegetarian?

That's from Annie Hall.

The movie we saw together. Remember?

That's funny. I thought we

saw a Mel Brooks movie.

No, no. It was Annie Hall.

Miss Biberman?

- Telephone.

- Thank you.

Yes, doctor. I'm sorry.

I have to go to the hospital.

I hope we can do this again sometime.

When?

Why don't you call me?

I'm so sorry.

Great.

You're not going to med school to

impress a girl you're infatuated with?

It's not just infatuation,

and she's not just a girl.

She's the only evidence

of God I can find.

With the exception

of the mystical force...

...that always removes one of

my socks from the dryer.

Fluff and fold, buddy.

As soon as I make it really big,

I'm going fluff and fold.

Dreamer.

- I understand fold, but what's fluff?

- Fluff's what I write for the paper.

- What am I doing wrong here?

- Let me see.

Listen, Les...

You think my attachment

to Alec is unnatural?

No. I think mine is.

- He tell you he wants to get married?

- Four years ago, the day he met you.

But he was a Democrat then.

Now he's a Republican, so who knows.

God! How do women

do this every night...

- ...and not go insane?

- They are insane.

Love, marriage, children,

relationships. It's all insane.

- You're okay.

- Thanks.

My perfect sister and her perfect

husband are getting a perfect divorce.

I have the perfect solution.

Stay away from love.

I can't.

Kevin, you've been in love.

- Doesn't Alec hate peppers?

- Oh, come on.

You must have been in love

with someone, sometime.

Yeah, once.

Junior high, I played bongos in a band,

and I fell in love with the singer.

And she sang "We've Only Just Begun"

as sweet as Karen Carpenter.

One night, I got high on cheap malt

liquor, and I pledged my love to her.

Next day she ran off with

a bassist named Ringo.

So I turned in my bongos for

a battered Underwood typewriter.

On which you'll type your way

to becoming one of the best...

...writers in America.

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