St. Elmo's Fire Page #3

I wouldn't hold your breath.

I can't even organize my thoughts

into anything for the paper.

Kevin, you need to stop thinking

so much and fall in love again.

Love sucks.

Hi, guys.

Rough day on the right wing?

This is for me?

Try it on.

Kevin, stir the vegetables.

Right.

Leslie has to marry me soon.

Why? Are you pregnant?

What is your marriage hurry?

I'm gonna kill myself.

It's only peppers, Al.

I can't believe what I did.

I innocently go to buy the nightgown...

...and this amazingly leggy blond

salesgirl offers to model it for me.

So we do it in the dressing room

in front of a three-way mirror.

So there were six of you.

If Leslie would just marry me.

Marriage will make you faithful?

Yes.

The idea of marriage

was invented by people...

...who were lucky to make it to 20

without being eaten by dinosaurs.

Marriage is obsolete.

Dinosaurs are obsolete.

Marriage is still around.

Alec, come here. This is obscene!

I love it.

Stir those vegetables.

Don't look!

Don't look.

Oh, come on.

- Kevin...

- I don't care.

Get off!

He'll burn my vegetables!

- No, he knows what he's doing.

- No, he doesn't.

Get off of me!

Look at this creep.

Hi, you want a date?

- Hi, you want a date?

- Maybe later, baby.

How come you never ask me

if I want a date?

Because I thought you were gay.

Why would you think I'm gay?

Because I never see you with a girl.

And you always look real strange.

I happen to be in love with someone,

only they don't know it, okay?

Guess you wouldn't understand about

loving someone from afar, huh?

Delaware's about as far

as I've ever been.

Is this person a he or a she?

It's a secret. I guess you

wouldn't understand that either.

You know, darling, lots of people

come to me for love...

...and it's a secret.

Come back here.

This secret of yours, is it

a little one or a big one?

Hey, you want a date?

Alec Newberry.

Hi, Alec. It's Jules.

I'm over at the Van Buren Hotel.

- What time is it?

- I don't know.

These Arabs have been

forcing me to do coke...

... all night. I don't

understand very much Arabic...

...but I think I heard

the words for "gangbang".

Alec, you gotta come get me.

Please? I'm in the Potomac Suite.

- Alec, you should be sainted.

- No, then I'd have to wear underwear.

I love you.

Then marry me.

- Yes, who is it?

- Open the door!

Alec, what are you doing here?

They hardly impressed me

as the gang-bang type.

- How much coke did you do?

- Don't know. They have barrels full.

Jules, sometimes I think you

make these dramas up to test me.

Why don't you come over?

- I have to be at work in the morning.

- Come on.

No.

Well, I don't wanna be alone.

Who are you calling?

A systems analyst.

A very hot Jewish guy.

Are you the new Mideast ambassador?

Let me drive you home.

And waste all this good coke?

It's Jules. Did I wake you?

Our purpose is to get you off welfare

and train you in a skilled profession.

Are you interested

in the janitorial field?

Just give me my check.

- There are some educational...

- Just give me my check.

Get yourself some hot clothes,

and get yourself a man...

...and you won't be worrying

about this sh*t.

Welfare recipients are

getting better-looking.

You ever feel like you're not

accomplishing anything all?

I think I'm in touch

with that emotion.

Let's get a drink.

Billy, how come you're not at work?

And this is our first store,

built in 1953.

We now have 24 Card-a-terias...

...the largest greeting cards

franchise in the East.

What line are you in?

Munitions.

Don't bring up moving out.

Daddy'll have a heart attack

in front of your boyfriend.

He's not my boyfriend.

Well, then there's a nice

young guy working for us.

- Howie Krantz.

- Libby, please.

Candace, do like grandmother did.

In the center of the plate, neatly.

Mom, you look beautiful.

I'm fat, I'm thin.

I'm blond, I'm brunette.

Well, you always wanted to look

like Elizabeth Taylor, and now you do.

My mother finds certain words

too horrible to utter...

...so she whispers them.

You'll get used to it.

Did you hear about Betty Rothberg?

Cancer.

Say, Bill, the day I married Rachael...

...I got three Card-a-terias.

I just bought a new BMW.

How great!

Betty's daughter moved

into the new neighborhood.

Only six Jewish families.

But very wealthy.

Are you in the card game too?

Six franchises.

Where did you meet Wendy again?

Prison.

What did he say?

Is $200 enough?

$200 is more than enough.

Thank you, Dad.

Thanks.

If you'd get married

and run a franchise...

...you wouldn't have to borrow money.

I have a job with

the Department of Human Services.

That isn't a job. It's killing time

until you get married.

Thank you. I'm very committed.

Daddy, I think I should

get my own apartment.

Grandpa! Grandpa!

- Billy's on the roof!

- What?

Wait a minute. Wait, wait.

This is so great!

All the years we lived here,

no one ever did this.

I used to do it all the time.

At the frat house, I'd crawl out of

Alec's window on the roof with my horn.

This is ridiculous!

My God! Wendy's up there too!

Come on down here!

I knew it the minute

he came in. Drugs!

Should we call the police

or fire department?

Maybe we should let Wendy handle it.

You miss school, don't you?

Yeah.

School was pretty out of hand.

In everyday life,

there's just no way...

...to be out of hand.

You gotta be so...

You know, if it ever

got to be too much...

Like just...

...too much.

Well, that's out of hand.

Ever think about it?

Not while I'm still a virgin.

Why didn't you tell me that?

I don't know.

Come on. I mean, all those

guys you went out with...

Stuey Newman?

Oh, please.

You'd do it with Stuey Newman?

Well?

"Be vewy quiet."

"I'm hunting wabbit."

Nice.

I'm sorry.

- Peace.

- I'm sorry.

What the hell is that?

It's your scuba suit.

I'm sorry. You're allowed

to have fun when you're screwing.

Wend, I was...

I'm sorry.

I don't think we should

see each other anymore.

What?

There's your rent money.

I wanna meet the woman who's

turning Kirbo Keager into a doctor.

Hey, I've been an amateur

gynecologist for years.

Billy is great.

He's unbelievable.

Leslie, did I tell you?

I thought I was getting fired.

Instead, my boss took me to dinner.

- I told you not to bop your boss.

- Too late. I'm gonna dance.

Can I borrow a key

to your apartment tomorrow?

What for?

The lingerie salesgirl has been

calling me at the office.

- You gotta learn to say no.

- When Leslie says yes, I will.

Wendy.

- This is Howie Krantz.

- Howie, Kevin Dolenz.

- How do you do?

- Alec Newberry.

Nice to meet you.

You wanna sit with us?

Oh, great. That'd be great.

- Thought you weren't coming here.

- We were passing by.

I'm in the greeting cards business.

I work for Wendy's brother-in-law.

Humongous future in greeting cards.

Ron!

Everybody, this is my friend

and decorator, Ron Dellasandro.

You remember Ron.

- Hello, Ron.

- Hi, Ron.

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote