Stand and Deliver

---

Typewriters, transcripts,

anything missing?

The key to the ladies room.

Where was the fecal material found?

In the corner.

You'll know when you're near it.

- This was mailed to me.

- Just a minute.

If you don't have a telephone,

bring in a gas bill.

We need proof that you live

in the district.

I'm Jaime Escalante.

I'm supposed to teach Computer Science.

We don't have computers.

We were supposed to get computers,

but there's no funding for them again.

I'm Raquel Ortega,

chairman of the math department.

We'll be working together.

You don't understand.

I was supposed to teach computers.

- Where were you last night?

- Where was I?

"Where was I?" I was waiting.

You the new teacher?

Please find a seat.

What are we doing today?

Will everyone please try to find a seat?

If you can't find a seat...

...stand against the wall.

Let's put our desks in a circle

and discuss our feelings.

One body to a desk.

Could we talk about sex?

Then I'd have to give sex for homework.

Stand back everybody, please.

I can get you fired for saying that.

What'd he say?

Entienden ingls?

Sometimes.

Please move forward

if you do not speak English.

All the first row, stand up. Move out.

I was the first one here.

I'll find you another seat, okay?

Be careful.

This is Math 1-A.

I don't need math. I got a solar calculator

with my dozen doughnuts.

The bus is exact change. No big deal.

Quiet!

Everyone back in the classroom!

Everyone back in the class!

It was a premature bell. Back in the class.

That was a premature bell.

Premature bell?

We're not supposed to discuss sex in class.

Sit down! Stop talking!

They rigged the bell.

Those little bastards.

She's looking good, Joe.

When are you coming aboard?

I get seasick in the rain.

- Have you seen my boy?

- He was riding around here somewhere.

I hear your company's pushing

whole hog into PCs.

I don't work there anymore.

Jaime's teaching high school now.

Here's your thingy.

If you got laid off,

why didn't you come to me?

We pay kids right out of college $30,000.

I didn't get laid off. I want to teach.

High school teacher.

Well, good. That's great.

This is your job.

I was going to do it.

Why do you think I hurried home?

You're not even breathing hard,

you're hurrying so fast.

Have a good night, Joe.

I want a burger, hold the French fries,

the onions, and the pickles!

You look like Julia Child.

What you got?

It's an apple.

How much?

What do you mean?

What have you got?

Half.

Good.

Excuse my German accent.

What have you got?

Missing 25 percent.

- What?

- It's missing 25 percent.

That's right. Missing 25 percent.

Is it true intelligent people

make better lovers?

What you got?

I got a core.

You owe me 100 percent.

I'll see you in The People's Court.

Everyone please open your books,

Chapter 2, Page 26.

Multiplication of fractions...

...and percentages.

25 percent...

...50 percent...

...75 percent...

...and 100 percent.

Who's calling the shots, ese?

Have you got a slip?

You got a slip?

You'll have to stand in the back

until I can get another desk.

You sit right here.

Everyone please read

the first paragraph for a second.

- Where's your equipment?

- Don't got any.

Got to come to this class prepared.

Do the work in my head.

You know the times tables?

I know the one's...

...two's...

...three's.

Finger Man. I heard about you.

Are you the Finger Man?

I'm the Finger Man, too.

Do you know what I can do?

I know how to multiply by nine.

9 x 3. One, two, three. What do you get?

27!

6 x 9. One, two, three, four, five, six.

What do you get? 54!

Do you want a hard one?

How about 8 x 9?

What have you got? 72.

Wait a minute.

Please make sure you do problems

1 through 20. Page 26.

Can I have my book, Mr. Escalante?

Don't bring it to class again.

Don't get excited.

Cut me a D like the other profes.

I'll read my funny books...

...count the holes in the ceiling...

...kick back.

First thing, I can teach you some manners.

I wouldn't do that if I were you.

Lose a finger, I can't count to ten.

We've seen vatos like you before.

You'll be hurting soon.

Ponte trucha.

I was so worried the kids would know

more than me, I'd wake at 5:00 a. M...

...down my coffee and hit the math text.

I finally get every chapter down...

...and now they change the book on me.

Math, you either love or hate.

You got problems, come see me.

Thanks, Jaime. See you later.

You're in love? Which one? Let me know.

No, that's all right.

- Come on, Johnny, don't be afraid.

- I'm not "Johnny. "

I know, Tito. Tito Grande.

Angel!

Go get a teacher!

It's Frank Garcia.

When I say Garca, you answer, okay?

Are your friends auditing?

I audited them to come with me.

I'm El Cicln from Bolivia.

One-man gang.

This is my domain.

Don't give me no gas.

I'll jump on your face,

tattoo your chromosomes.

This is basic math,

but basic math is too easy for you.

So I'll teach you algebra,

because I'm the champ.

If the only thing you can do is

add and subtract...

...you'll be able to do one thing: Pump gas.

Ripping off a gas station is better

than working in one.

I'm a tough guy.

Tough guys don't do math,

tough guys deep fry chicken for a living.

You want a wing or a leg?

Who ever heard of negative

and positive numbers?

Negative numbers are like unemployment.

Ten million people out of work,

that's a negative number.

We'll need lots of Kleenex 'cause

there's gonna be bloodshed.

Have you ever been to the beach?

Have you ever played with the sand?

Finger Man!

You ever dig a hole?

The sand that comes out of the hole,

that's a positive.

The hole is a negative.

That's it. Simple. Anybody can do it.

2 + 2 =...

Net Head?

Answer it.

Come on, you know the answer.

2 + 2. Fill the hole.

If I had that on my hand,

I wouldn't raise it, either.

2 + 2 =...

Anybody can do it. Fill the hole.

2 + 2 =...

Just fill the hole.

You can do it.

Don't let these burros laugh at you.

2 + 2 =...

I'll break your neck like a toothpick.

0? You're right.

Simple. That's it.

2 + 2 = 0. He just filled the hole.

Neither the Greeks nor the Romans were

capable of using the concept of zero.

It was your ancestors...

...the Mayas, who first contemplated

the zero. The absence of value.

True story.

You burros have math in your blood.

Kimo sabe todo.

The man knows everything!

Parenthesis means multiply.

Every time you see this, multiply.

A negative times a negative

equals a positive.

"A negative times a negative

equals a positive. " Say it.

"A negative times a negative

equals a positive. " Say it!

"A negative times a negative

equals a positive. "

Again!

"A negative times a negative

equals a positive. "

"A negative times a negative

equals a positive. "

I can't hear you.

"A negative times a negative

equals a positive. "

Louder!

"A negative times a negative

equals a positive!"

Louder!

"A negative times a negative

equals a positive!"

Why?

My point is I don't want

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote