Stars Don't Die in Liverpool

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1

Harpoon Penelope's pansies leaving poor Penelope perplexed.

Whoo.

Major Mickey makes...

Major Mickey's malt makes me merry.

Five minutes, Miss Grahame.

Thanks, honey.

Ladies and gentlemen,

this evening's performance of The Glass Menagerie

will begin in five minutes.

Could you please take your seats?

Miss Grahame?

You might be in a luxury hotel, Bella,

three-star and that, maybe more.

I don't want to be staying in a bloody luxury hotel.

Oh, come on, Ma! What do you mean?

You don't want to get waited on hand and foot like the Queen of Sheba?

Joseph, my Queen of Sheba days went down the swanny

the day I married your bloody father.

You big lump of lard!

You forgot to tell me till now?

We're supposed to be off on Tuesday.

I'd never have agreed if I'd known.

Sod this.

- Come on, girl.

- What's going on?

Come on.

What, you mean apart from you wearing mascara?

Eh? Poncey actors getting dressed up as birds!

Weird job for a man, that, if you ask me.

Well, no one's asking you, are they?

Anyway, I'm not playing a bird.

I'm playing a nurse in an Alan Bleasdale play.

- Shut up, you knobhead.

- Joseph, enough!

Ma, you sound stressed.

- What's going on?

- Well...

I've just been reliably informed, by looking at the bloody tickets,

that there's a 24-hour stopover in Manila when we fly back from Australia.

Well, what's wrong with that?

Manila's nice, isn't it?

- Yeah, it's lovely.

- No, Peter, it is not nice.

I'll have just said goodbye to your brother Billy for maybe the last time.

- Don't start, Ma.

- Don't be daft.

No, no, you two don't be daft.

I won't be going back all that way again.

And our Billy won't be coming back to Liverpool ever.

So, yeah, probably the last time I'll see him before I leave this world.

The last time.

And I'll be thinking about that, I know I will,

and I don't want to be thinking about it on a bloody 24-hour stopover in Manila.

Well, go on. He's waiting.

This is Peter Turner.

OK, Lancaster Hotel.

We'll be there as soon as we can.

I don't even know where the bloody place is.

Ma, you're stressed cos it's your first time on an aeroplane and that.

It'll be fine.

Come here, come here.

It's all right.

- God, I've missed them.

- I know you have.

I know you have. We all have, you know.

All bloody heartbreakers, the lot of you.

They don't tell you that when your legs are laced up in stirrups.

It's the Lancaster Theatre.

- Some director on the phone for you.

- You what?

Saying something about your Gloria.

She's ill or something.

Why didn't you tell me you were in England?

Please don't be angry.

You've been 60 miles away and you couldn't pick up a phone?

And now I hear you're ill.

I just have gas, that's all.

It's just gas.

That's not what they said on the phone.

Have you been to a hospital?

Yes, and I left.

- The doctors there got me like this.

- If you're still not feeling right,

don't you think you should go back so someone can see you?

I don't wanna go back.

I just wanna see your mom.

Gloria, it's Peter.

It's open.

Oh, could you turn that off, please?

Could you take me to your house, Peter?

Bella could take care of me.

Could you take me to Liverpool?

I could get better there.

I mean, do you really think that's a good idea?

I mean, me and you?

Mind your head.

There.

- OK?

- Yeah.

Bella!

- Gloria, love.

- Oh...

- How are you?

- Oh, I'm OK.

Or I will be.

I said she could stay with us, Ma, just till she feels better.

- Yeah, of course she can.

- Oh, this won't be for long.

Well, you can stay as long as you want, my love.

I've really missed you.

- Pops.

- Great to see you, love.

Oh.

Right, shall we get you off to bed, then?

You should have given me some warning.

I'd have put the electric blanket on.

- I'm sorry. All right, Da?

- It's freezing up there.

Do you want your PJs?

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

- There you go.

- Thank you.

- You kept it.

- Oh, of course.

It's beautiful.

I'll call your family, let 'em know you're here.

Oh, no, no.

Please don't.

They'll just gossip and worry and...

And I'm gonna be fine,

seriously, so please don't bother anyone.

- Are you sure?

- Yeah.

Do you remember when we bought these on Bond Street?

Yeah, they're my ruby-red slippers.

Primrose Hill.

We had fun, right?

Yeah, we did.

You all right?

I just can't... it's just the gas. I...

Oh, I can't...

Would you burp me, Peter, please?

- Could I have some milk, please?

- Yeah.

You know I love milk.

I'll get you some milk.

Fluffy, floppy puppy.

Fluffy, floppy puppy.

Here, that's my new tenant.

Ah. Fluffy, floppy puppy.

Fluffy, floppy puppy.

Look at her.

Ah, it's like My Fair bleedin' Lady.

- Who is she?

- She's an actress, a famous one, too,

or was.

- What's her name?

- Gloria Grahame.

- Always played the tart.

- Never heard of her.

Big name in black and white films.

- Not doing so well in colour, obviously.

- What makes you say that?

Well, she ain't swanning about Sunset Boulevard now,

is she, Peter, love?

No. She's renting a room in my house and talking a load of bollocks.

Sally saw Sylvester.

I've been on tenterhooks

Ending in dirty looks

Listening to the musak, thinking about this and that

She'll say that's that

I don't wanna chitter-chat.

Turn it down a little bit or turn it down flat

Pump it up when you don't really need it

Pump it up until you can feel it

Mrs Weston's up there.

Sh*t.

Hey, you're the next-door guy, right?

Which makes you the girl next door.

Hey, have you seen the movie Saturday Night Fever?

Er, yeah, I've seen it.

Actually, I saw it three times.

Oh, so you like disco dancing?

Oh, God, um...

Well, I like drunk dancing.

Oh, so if I make you a drink, will you come into my room and hustle with me?

I need a partner for my dance class.

I mean, if you fix me a drink, I'll come in and clean your bathroom.

Huh!

If you're thinking you're too cool to boogie-woogie

Boy, oh, boy, have I got news for you

Everybody here tonight must boogie

Everybody boogie

Let me tell you, you are no exception to the rule

Get on up on the floor

Cos we're gonna boogie, oogie, oogie till you just can't boogie no more

Can't boogie

Can't boogie no more

You can't boogie no more

- Ooh!

- Can't boogie

Wow!

- We got some moves going on here.

- They miscast that Travolta bloke.

Would you just watch the hair?

I worked a long time on my hair and then he hits it.

He hits my hair!

- It's him.

- No, I got a better bum.

Hoo!

Yeah, I noticed.

So, you're an actor, too, right?

Er, well...

- I pretend to be.

- What are you working on?

Er, the usual.

Tables, chairs, sideboards.

Huh?

I work in a second-hand furniture shop right now.

I'm in between acting jobs, I'm afraid.

Oh, don't be afraid, honey.

Happens to all of us.

Hey, let me fix you another drink.

Oh, sh*t. Sh*t.

No, no, no. I can't. F***.

Sorry. I've got to meet a friend at the theatre tonight.

Oh. A friend, huh?

Him friend or her friend?

- It's a him friend, yeah.

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