Stephen Fry's Key to the City

1

That's the city.

Good Lord!

Good Lord!

Ha-ha!

The Square Mile. The City of London.

It's an extraordinary institution.

Everything is so concentrated here.

It's just amazing.

I love it.

Wow.

From drool-worthy quantities of cash

in the Bank of England vaults...

Oh, my!

Is that what I think it is?

- Hello.

- Is that Doris? - Yes, it's me.

..to sharing an honour with the

lovely Doris...

You can always buy a life's supply

of lavatory paper.

I like it.

(PRISONERS SHOUT)

..to prisoners' cries in the Dead

Man's Walk at the Old Bailey...

- That's the cell that's being

discharged. - Oh, really?

We're processing prisoners now.

..and bewildering ceremonies...

..I'm going to delve into the secrets

of the City.

Well, I was offered some months ago,

the freedom of the City of London.

And I had no idea what that meant.

I don't know what the City is.

Part of me knows it's a square mile

filled with banks.

And banks are... Well, they're the

enemies of society at the moment.

But I also know it is much older

than that.

It goes back to Dick Whittington and

the 12th Century.

It's the Corporation of the City of

London. It's liveries and guilds.

And mansion houses and guildhalls.

I've no idea what 'the freedom'

means.

They say it means I can drive goats

over Tower Bridge.

I'm sure that's nonsense.

The whole thing set me out on a

course of thinking,

"If I'm going to accept this honour,

I want to penetrate the City."

It's one of those very British

things.

It's like a little corner of

the world that is completely hidden.

It's both ancient and modern and

very exciting.

And here I am outside the Guildhall

which is one of the great buildings.

I dare say Richard Whittington

himself walked into it.

Hello. Where am I supposed to be

going?

- You're going this way. I'll take you

up there. - Thank you.

Oh. Oh, my. Already I can see people

in funny costumes.

That's what I was hoping for.

Ladies and gentlemen, would you

please be upstanding

to receive your distinguished

guests.

I wonder what I'll be given? A key?

A pin number.

Or maybe a swipe card.

Stephen Fry, would you please

approach?

This is the declaration of a

Freeman.

I'd like you to read it aloud

beginning with your name.

I, Stephen Fry, do solemnly declare

that I will be good and true to our

lady sovereign

Queen Elizabeth II

and that I will be obedient to the

Mayor of this City.

Now, on behalf of the Chamberlain

of this great and ancient City of

London,

it is a particular pleasure tonight

for me to extend

the right hand of fellowship to you

and to greet you all

as citizens of London.

- Congratulations.

- Thank you very much indeed.

Thank you.

I'm free!

Free.

I live only a couple of miles away

in the West End of London.

But the city seems like a foreign

country.

I intend to use my new freedom as a

passport to explore

its hidden mysteries.

Tracing the outlines of the original

Roman settlement,

the City is a small local authority

that has vastly more wealth and

power

than any other borough in the UK yet

is a mere square mile.

The reason London was founded as a

trading port is this river.

With ships from all over the world

coming to do business.

I'm hoping to get my hands on

the levers of power at Tower Bridge -

that symbol of London that allowed

trading ships

into the heart of the City.

Oh, my goodness. Look at it. There

it is.

It's a sight that not everybody

sees. Even Londoners.

Tower Bridge was built in 1886 and

Eric Sutherns

has the splendid title of Bridge

Master.

It's so funny to see the white lines

of the road at that angle.

- Here's the warship coming through

now. - Terrific.

They're flying the Union Jack.

I've got a statutory duty to open

the bridge to any vessel

that gives me the required 24 hours

notice.

It's like an Escher print. All

these...

staircases in different directions.

I ask Eric if I can see how this

masterpiece of Victorian engineering

actually works.

- ..to the... - It's known as the

Bascule Chamber.

This is the Bascule...

Oh, my God!

Oh, my goodness. It's a theatre.

You could have rows of people on

stage.

Except, presumably, when it rises...

You're under the road. Under the

south bascule.

When we do a bridge lift, that

travels down

- and goes up against the wall.

- So if we stood here, we'd be killed.

Not killed. You'll have time to get

out.

You'd have to duck. And if it was a

full one?

- Would I be safe against that wall?

- A full lift.

You would be safe. But it would

touch you before it stopped.

So it would be rubbing up against

your shoulders before it stopped.

Tower Bridge. Christine. We're about

to start your bridge lift now.

Originally operated by completed

mechanics,

it's now all controlled by one man,

and today, Eric allows

that one man to be me.

Stand by bridge staff. Stopping road

traffic.

(ALARM BLARES)

- This noise is normal, yes? Good.

- That's normal.

We're now waiting for the traffic to

clear at the bridge.

Now press those two. Now you can

press pedestrian gates.

These is just unbelievable.

Look around to make sure everything

is safe and no-one is on the bridge.

- OK. - Halfway back to creep speed.

Just gently. Watch the centre of the

bridge and you'll see it moving.

- Oh, my heavens. - Now all the way

back.

Oh, my goodness!

- I'm raising the bridge. - Just watch

your guide till it gets to 40.

Nine degrees. Ten degrees.

10.12, 13. This is a miracle.

It's an absolute miracle.

Oh, my goodness me.

Gently back into the centre position

now.

- There we are. - There. You can let that

go.

So are all the buttons

that are pressed need to be pressed?

The river lights. And here comes

one.

The Pfizer Cecilia.

A Swiss boat, I guess, is it?

Oh. Out of Grimsby. So that's not

very Swiss!

Trade is what the city has always

been about

whether on the river or in its many

markets.

And just a few minutes north of

Tower Bridge,

I'm given the rare privilege of

a seat in something called The Ring.

(CACOPHONY)

The cliche image of the greedy '80s

is of men

in bright coloured blazers shouting.

All but one of the those markets has

gone to computerised heaven.

Now, just the one, the London Metal

Exchange,

remains a live, throbbing market.

I have to say, it's one of the most

dramatic spectacles

I've ever encountered.

Apparently, the guys sitting with me

in the ring are dealers

buying and selling metal futures.

Say 1,000 tons of zinc in three

months time.

The ones standing just outside are

giving them instructions

which they get from

the colleagues in the outer ring

who are on the phones to the clients

who might be, say,

Peugeot cars wanting to buy

aluminium for next year's production.

I'm told that over 80% of

the world's industrial metal prices

are set in this ring and the urgency

is because everyone waits

to buy or sell till seconds before

the market closes.

Tim, you were just...

You were like... Everybody

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