Stephen Fry's Key to the City Page #3

It looks like a student's room key.

Yes, it does, doesn't it?

The Lord Mayor is in office for just

a year.

The job is unpaid and the mayor and

his family traditionally move

into the flat at the top of the

Mansion House.

It's about as grand a shop to live

above as you can get.

A few months since his inauguration,

on a day of special ceremonial,

a visit from the Queen no less,

I've been invited into the inner

sanctum by the Lady Mayoress.

The front door says 'Lady Mayoress

Private.'

Yes. Oh, my goodness.

- This is our bedroom.

- That's a bit grand.

- Is this what you are wearing today?

- That is what I'm... Yes.

You will look the belle of the ball.

I don't know about that. And

the choice of different handbags.

Yeah. Accessorising is all.

Exactly.

But, of course, what I really want to

see is the closet.

- This is David's dressing room.

- Good Lord!

Which was called the South Gallery

at one point.

So...er... It's extraordinary.

What shall I wear today?

He has these... These beautiful

lace...

- These are his velvets. - And is that

what he is wearing today?

- That's what he's wearing today.

- Absolutely gorgeous. It is velvet.

This was the door to the Egyptian

Hall.

- And now it's full of...

- Oh, perfect.

A part from a million ties.

- He's one of the few husbands who's

got more frocks than you. - Yes.

- You haven't seen his underpants

but... - Oh, his breeches!

Breeches and tights and...

And that's the mayoral chain.

- Lord lead us or direct us. - Then out

of here... This is the back door.

Right. The proper green baize door.

- Have a look at the breakfast going

on downstairs. - We can get a view.

You can get a view of the breakfast.

Goodness me.

(HUM OF CONVERSATION)

Wow.

The men and women here are...?

All the ones in their blue bands are

Common Council.

So these are the people

who essentially run the Corporation

of the City of London?

The Aldermen and Common Councilmen

are breakfasting

on the day the Queen is due to visit

the City.

But is the Lord Mayor dressed yet?

Back into the closet.

These are 70 denier tights.

- Very sheer. Do you mind if I finger

your ermine? - No, please.

I've never actually done this.

I've never understood why ermine.

The velvet is even nicer.

It's so beautiful.

And the rosettes on the shoulder.

I wondered because I saw them by the

mirror. I wondered where they'd go.

Good luck, everybody.

Goodbye. Thank you.

Precision timing now. Oh, and they're

off.

Oh, look. It's LMO limo.

Oh, Lord Mayor's Office.

Ha! And they're off to St Paul's to

meet the Queen.

(BELLS PEAL)

In fact the Lord Mayor isn't just

off to 'meet the Queen'.

As a result of strife and altercation

under King John 900 years ago,

the City, which financed the King's

army,

gained in return the right to govern

themselves

with vast powers given to the mayor

but still,

the monarch's overlordship should be

acknowledged

when she visits the City, and it is

the Lord Mayor's job along

with that sword,

to do just that.

The City of London Corporation is a

powerful self-financing fiefdom.

The Lord Mayor at its head is also,

nominally, the Chief Magistrate.

The Old Bailey, a stone's throw away,

is where he would sit.

In fact, the Lord Mayor's judicial

powers are not used

but the Corporation own and run the

place.

It's so impressive and so

awe-inspiring.

(READS) Truth, learning, art, labour.

- Very wonderful. - Then you've got the

city's crest at the top. - Yes.

The man who has all the keys here is

Charles Henty - the Under-Sheriff,

an officer of the City of London

Corporation.

This, though, is probably the

grimmest.

Underneath the present day courts,

there used to be

the infamous Newgate Prison.

..your last night may well be spent

here at the Bailey.

Although we stopped executing

publicly in 1868

and 1902 from inside.

The condemned man or persons would

be in here,

last rites given and then, usually,

they would be taken out this way.

Having chosen their own meal?

- I don't think we went that far.

- No.

It's nice for the films but...er...

Incarcerated here was everyone from

Dick Turpin to Casanova.

Now it's the 50 people on trial

today.

- Now, this... - What is this?

This is what we call Dead Man's

Walk.

- What was here...

- Dead Man's Walk?

Dead Man's Walk. Because you're only

going to go one way.

As you came down, as I said, doors

each way.

- So one door would open.

- Lower and narrower each time?

- Narrower and narrower.

- It's very Alice In Wonderland.

(PRISONERS SHOUT)

- The cries of London. - Er...that's the

cells being discharged.

- Oh, really? - Yeah.

We're processing prisoners now.

It gets tiny.

You're only gonna go one way.

And each time, the door got smaller

and smaller and smaller.

- Mentally, it's focussing you in a

very nasty way. - God!

- How absolutely gruesome. - And you

came on and on and on.

And you would have gone to the end,

turned right

and find yourself outside in front

of all the public

- to be executed. - You said in 1868,

which was the last public hanging,

- 20,000 went by tube.

- By Tube.

That sort of mixes the two ages quite

extraordinarily.

The age of London Underground and

the age of public hangings

- don't mix in one's mind naturally.

- It was entertainment for some.

But above us now, presumably there's

a judge banging a gavel

and hopefully dispensing justice in

a more merciful nature.

- Keep your voice down a little bit

cos those are cells. - Really?

We've got cells on this floor and

slightly further down.

- And that door... - There are people in

there?

They're gradually being moved out

now.

- God. - Check the time.

- Going down even further into the

Bailey... - My goodness!

- Don't worry. - It's deep. - It

is certainly very deep down here.

The Under-Sheriff now has a further

secret to reveal

in the bowels of the Bailey.

- Now I want you to go over that side.

- Right.

And watch your toes.

Because, using that key, what I'm

going to do is

- to bring it to your left. - Up there.

Up on to the wood.

And now, you can hear something.

Oh, my goodness. There's a ladder.

Down at the bottom there is the

River Fleet.

- That's the Fleet! - That's the Fleet

River.

The famous underground river.

All those cliches about London being

levels of history.

And yet, at the bottom of it you

have this

and at the top you've got a 22-ton

figure of justice.

- Is that how much she weighs?

- Yeah. Serious weight problem.

(LAUGHS) Justice has a weight

problem. I like that.

In my exploration of the hidden

nooks and crannies of the City,

I've experienced modern markets and

medieval ritual.

But I've yet to penetrate the

ancient roots

buried beneath this trading

metropolis.

- Hello.

- Hello.

- I'm Stephen. - I'm Caroline.

On Lower Thames Street, I've now got

an appointment with museum curator

Caroline McDonald.

Why have you bidden me here?

- Because I'm going to tell you what's

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