Taking Woodstock

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Don't jump in the pool.

The water we put in

next week for the summer.

...in South Vietnam

ground war.

The U.S. Command reports 148

Americans killed in the war last week,

the lowest weekly figure in six

months. 1,612 Americans were...

...they barely look

like they've been warned.

There was exchange

of fire south of

the Sea of Galilee and

across the Suez Canal.

These exchanges and raids are

now a daily part of Israeli life,

and the country is

prepared for anything.

NBC news correspondent,

David Burrington, reports.

In spite of all

the border turmoil,

Israeli intelligence officers do

not expect all-out war this summer

unless the Arab

nations get reckless.

And that's the

main worry here,

that Arab frustration

will suddenly explode...

In a day

of intensive activity,

Captain Neil Armstrong

and his crew

entered the final

phase of preparations

for the July 16th

launch of Apollo 11.

NASA officials report

that the third and final day of

launching pad tests proceeded smoothly,

while inside

the training center,

the astronauts performed simulated

moon walks in their space suits.

What? Excuse me. I can't possibly stay.

This establishment isn't

fit for human habitation.

Fine, go. Yes, well, here's your key.

It didn't fit the lock, but

the door was open in any case.

You went into the room?

I did, yes.

And now I must insist

on you returning my $8.

After you already

used the room?

What kind of scam

are you running?

And besides...

Well, this is ridiculous!

The so-called air

conditioner was just

an empty plastic

box in the window.

The room was filthy. Indeed, I

discovered a small hair on the pillow.

There wasn't even

a towel in the bathroom.

Ma.

What?

Please, we're late already.

My son,

thank God you're here.

This man is threatening me for a refund!

I'm sorry. You're over $5,000

in arrears on the mortgage.

The home office is

breathing down my neck.

Mr. Spiers,

the El Monaco Resort...

It's a resort now?

...and Motel is my

parents' lifeblood.

With the addition

of the swimming pool

and these new town-wide

marketing initiatives...

Initiatives?

As you know, I have been

elected the President

of the Bethel

Chamber of Commerce.

The youngest president

in their history.

We've decided to erect a tourist

information booth, right off 17B.

I have agreed, on behalf

of the El Monaco,

to lease at no cost some

road frontage to the endeavor,

which should coincidentally drive

heavy tourist traffic right to our door.

In addition...

Please, Elliot,

you know I do everything I can to help.

We even bought one

of your paintings.

But don't try to sell me

on those singles weekends

or the culture festival

or whatever other schemes

were supposed to dig

you out last summer.

We've decided to go classical

with the festival this year,

maybe a string quartet, more

contemporary, like Morton Feldman?

Very avant-garde. And we've got

a theater troupe in the barn.

You have a theater

troupe in the barn?

The Earthlight Players.

Vassar graduates, some of them.

They live in the barn?

They do everything

in the barn.

You haven't seen the sign? What sign?

The sign in

front of the barn.

Mr. Spiers, my God, please.

We come here, begging,

begging for mercy,

and what do you give us?

This fixation about the barn.

What is it with you and the barn?

I was just... I'm an old woman,

Mr. Spiers. I've suffered.

I walked here all the way

from Minsk, in Russia,

in 20-foot snow drifts,

I escaped the pogroms,

the Tsar's secret police,

with nothing but cold

potatoes in my pockets.

Mrs. Teichberg, please...

And for what?

For more persecution!

It's because we're Jewish.

I know it, isn't it?

Mrs. Teichberg, please.

This is the Catskills.

Half the summer colonies are

Jewish, they're all our clients.

Until the day they need you,

and then on goes the gas!

Ma,

calm down, please?

Jackson, just give us

a couple of months.

The summer season's coming up, I

honestly do have some real money

owed me from my interior

design business in the city.

Please?

Please?

Mother-son ballroom class will

start immediately after, at 11:00.

That's kinder-dancing for

the kiddies in 10 minutes.

Dad, you gotta

get Ma to lay off

the Nazi stuff and

let me handle this.

You think I can tell

your mother what to do?

I gotta get back to the city.

I'll see you Friday.

We'll get the money.

Let them take

this miserable dump.

I'll die in peace,

in Florida.

Mr. Tiber.

George.

I admitted your sister

some time ago. Thanks.

And some gentlemen

from the moving company.

Oh, yeah.

There you are.

Hi, Sis.

How did it go

at the bank?

How do you think it went? Till

the end of the summer, that's it.

What about the money

those mobsters owe you

for that nightclub

you designed?

They have a surprisingly strict

policy about paying designers.

They don't.

You want some

more paintings?

No, I already have 10 of them.

And you know Joe hates them.

Of course you're broke,

after all the money you've sunk

into that hellhole of theirs.

And I bet Ma's never even

said a word of thanks, has she?

No, but I can sense it.

The special way she

sometimes looks at me

with just her left eye,

you know.

Elliot. Now is your time

to go to California

like you've always wanted,

to paint and design. Be free, stop

throwing your life away up there.

I can't give up on them now. Why not?

I'm the one they

still want around.

I guess that means they

love me more than you.

That must be a great

consolation to you.

Dad, that's bleach

for laundry.

It kills the germs.

What's the difference?

Elli? What? What are you

doing with those sheets?

They're dirty.

Let me see. Nothing.

Those two, they didn't do nothing

in there. Shake them, put them back.

But, Ma...

Electricity, detergent,

who's paying

for all that?

And you, theater girl,

get back in the barn!

All of you!

Lazy people.

Let's call to order.

Come on, everyone.

Last meeting, we all said we'd each

bring some new ideas to the table.

Well, okay.

We got a lot of dairy farms

around here, right?

And a fair number of bulls.

Okay, you've all

heard of the running

of the bulls in

that town in Spain,

Pampoona.

Pamplona.

Well, no one's doing

one in the Catskills.

Seems to be a big

draw over there.

It would be very amusing

to see all those Jews

from Levitsky's

summer colony,

you know, the ones with the

black top hats and the curls,

running for their lives

chased by our local livestock.

Wouldn't that be

a wonderful sight!

We're writing it all down.

Any other ideas?

What about the monorail?

Marge, you can't bring

that up in every meeting.

I've written

to the Governor,

but I think a letter from

the entire Chamber of Commerce

would be much

more effective.

A monorail linking downtown

New York to White Lake

would be a tremendous spur

to the local economy.

Jesus. Look, people, I said I

would come back to these meetings

if you could stay out of

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