Teacher's Pet Page #7

At the college campus scene

I was elected campus queen

And I got a degree for anatomy

directly from the Dean

I drove that professor insane

with my extraordinary

scientific brain

Oh, I'm the girl

Yes, I'm the girl

Oh, I'm the girl

who invented rock 'n' roll

Oh, I'm the dame

The dame to blame

Yes, I'm the girl

who invented rock 'n' roll

Now, you've heard of instant coffee

You've heard of instant tea

See here, you guys, just feast your eyes

on little old instant me

'Cause I'm the she

You're looking at me

I'm the girl

who invented rock 'n' roll

I'm the girl who inaugurated rock

Rock 'n' roll

Don't worry.|She'll be back again.

- Say, she is talented.|- Yeah.

Oh, dear.|Let me help you.

I'm sorry.

- Here, here.|- That's all right.

We'll order another round. Waiter!

I think we'Ve all had enough,|Mr. Gallagher.

What's the matter, can't take it?

It's a Very strange thing.

I once did some research on|the psychological aspects of inebriation.

I'Ve deVeloped what you might call|a mental control of liquor's effects.

I can drink any amount at all,|and it doesn't bother me a bit.

It doesn't bither me a bot, either!

- Thank you.|- Thanks. It's been loVely.

Waiter!

- You leaVing, too?|- Yes. Can we giVe you a lift?

No, it's all right.

It's all right.

- Need a little help with your friend?|- No. I'll manage. Just get us a cab.

Yes, sir.

- Let us giVe you a lift home, old man.|- Don't old man me, old man!

- I'll be okay.|- Of course you will.

All you need is a bit of oxygen.

Here, just take a good, deep breath|of air. Like this.

Hugo, are you all right?

May I come in?|Just a minute.

Come in.

- Will this help?|- Yeah, thanks.

For him? Nothing will help him.

How do you feel?

I neVer sobered up so fast in all my life.

Seeing him in the gutter|was better than a Turkish bath.

Well, I neVer... What happened?

Oxygen. It'll do it eVery time.

Oh, dear, and he has a 8:00 class|in the morning.

Not tomorrow morning.

Why don't you cross|with the light sometime?

You'll find it a wonderful experience!

You know, you were right about Pine.|He's quite a guy.

- Yes, he is.|- Good at eVerything.

- Sometimes that's quite a strain.|- Strain?

Yes, you keep wanting him to miss.|Just once.

Like tonight, I think I liked him best of all|when he fell flat on his face.

- You know what I mean?|- I know what you mean.

Oh, dear.

It makes people human|to do something wrong once in a while.

- Like you.|- Me?

This eVening, in my office.

Not that I'm for encouraging|that sort of thing, you understand.

No, of course not.

The teacher-student relationship|is a Very complex one.

Very.

You haVe to be friendly and...

and yet keep your distance|at the same time.

Sure.

Otherwise, how would you...

eVer maintain discipline?

That'd be tough.

Thank you so much|for bringing me home.

It was Very nice of you and I had a-

- Cup of coffee?|- I could use one.

Would you like to see the View?

If you lean out far enough, it's not bad.

Not bad in here, either.

You know, I could kill|that secretary of yours.

She had me conVinced|that you and the doctor...

were about to become a Vital statistic.

Hugo?

Hugo and I|are collaborating on a book.

Yes. The Psychological Factors|of Newspaper Readership.

Say, that's a pretty racy title.

Would you like a bite to eat|with that coffee?

You can set the table, if you will.

You sure it's not too much trouble?|Only takes a minute. Instant...

Now, you'Ve heard of instant coffee.|And I know you'Ve heard of instant tea.

Well, all you guys,|just feast your eyes

on little old instant me

I haVen't known her Very long.|Really?

She's a friend of that reporter|I told you about.

That's where you met her.

'Cause I'm the girl

who invented rock 'n' roll

Nice kid. Supports an inValid mother.

Is that right? Now, that's sweet.

'Cause I'm the she

You're looking at me

Yes, I'm the girl

who invented rock 'n' roll

And another thing.|Take the knife out of my back.

'Cause I'm the dame

The dame to blame

Yes, I'm the girl

who invented rock 'n' roll

She's off on Mondays.|Maybe you could fill in for her.

Well, I think|that would be Very nice.

I'll inVite the whole class.

- Where's another chair?|- In there.

'Cause I'm the dame

The dame to blame

Yes, I'm the girl

who invented rock 'n' roll

"Joel Barlow Stone. "

You found me out, huh?

Joel Barlow Stone. Erica Stone.

What did your father do?|He ran a country newspaper.

- That's all it was.|- The Eureka Bulletin.

A country newspaper|read around the world.

- I neVer tied it up. You and-|- I'm glad.

At least I know you didn't come to class|because I'm my father's daughter.

That small one's the editorial he wrote|when he won the Pulitzer Prize.

The Bulletin's front page, the last one.

That was on his desk|as long as I can remember.

What's the matter?

Nothing.

It's just that I feel like|a would-be inVentor...

going through Edison's workshop.

People always talk about him|as if he were some sort of a giant.

You know something?

He was just a hard-headed Hoosier with|a way of putting his finger on the truth.

I think you'd haVe liked him, Jim.|I know he'd haVe liked you.

Of course, I neVer read his newspaper|but I certainly read about him.

I'Ve got stacks of old copies.

Some day we'll go through them|if you'd like.

BelieVe me,|this is an education in itself.

I'll bet it is.

That's what this book that|I'm writing with Dr. Pine is about.

To show why The Bulletin was so great.

It's sort of a blueprint of journalism|for students to read and follow.

I once asked you|why you took up teaching.

I can see now.

Yes, I want to get across his|ideas. What a newspaper meant to him.

Jim, I'd like you to keep it.

It should belong to|a good newspaperman. But you will be.

My father always said|I had a better nose...

for newspapermen than for news.

I can't take that.|Yes, you can.

Consider it a bribe, huh?

- Bribe?|- Yes.

For you to stick to the decision|that you made tonight.

I know it isn't easy to giVe up|a steady job for something...

that seems like a gamble.|But I haVe so much faith in you, Jim.

I'll help you get started-|No.

- I'll do eVerything-|- I can't...

But I want to. Don't you understand?

Jim...

this morning you were|just a Very talented pupil.

But tonight...

I think we're being whistled at.

How about some raspberries?

We haVe a little...

scrambled eggs?

Bacon and tomato sandwich?

Mr. Gallagher, you're pretty hard|to please, I must say.

Oh, dear, that's had it.

Say, how about some waffles?

If I do say so myself,|I make Very good hot...

Jim?

Good morning.

HangoVer?

Calling what I haVe a hangoVer...

is like referring to|the Johnstown Flood...

as a slight drizzle.

I'm sorry you missed that 8:00 class.

I may miss the whole semester.

What do you want?

I just wanted to see how you felt.|I was wondering if there's...

Do you mind if I haVe some coffee?

If you don't rattle the cup and saucer.

Please.

I'Ve tried some morning-after cure-alls|in my time, but this is about the most-

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