Teacher's Pet Page #5

MAN IN DISTANCE.

Slhut tlhat dog up!

Hmm. I guess it didn't work.

Oh, no, my human-eared friend?

Yes! Thank you!

I mean... awoooo!

Come on, let's go.

Thank you! Awooo!

Thank you! Awoooo!

Jeez, this could go on all day.

Lady!

Turns out she wasn't

really lost.

She was just, heh, kinda busy.

- DAD. My.

- GIRL. Olh. puppies!

How can we thank you?

Gee, I can think

of a hundred ways.

Oh, uh, I can't give you $100.

- But-

- That's OK, Leonard.

A good deed is its own reward.

You brought back five dogs!

So I'm giving you $500!

All right!

I knew you weren't

a big, fat cheapskate!

I'm sorry. Was that out loud?

- We're rich!

- We're rich!

Come on, bunky.

Let's go eat and buy pants...

and do all the stuff

you can only do...

when you're all grown up

and got $500 to burn!

# Though money may be #

# The root of all evil #

# Money, it might not

buy you love #

# Money won't bring you

happiness #

# Or grow new hair

or cure your stress #

# Or get you to

the pearly gates above #

# But there's a bunch of things

that money can do #

# Put a shirt on your back

and a shine on your shoe #

# When the cash shows up,

I don't say "Boo" #

# I take the money and run #

# 'Cause love can't buy

a fancy car #

# Or fill your tank #

# If you want

the finer things #

# You better break the bank #

# 'Cause if there's one

sure thing that money can do #

# Put the pedal to the metal

when the rent comes due #

# When the money shows up,

baby, don't say "Boo" #

# Just take the money

and run, oh, yeah #

# Take the money and run #

# Go, man, get your stash,

grab your cash #

# Take the money and run #

Mom, Dad, I am a prisoner

in this chamber of horrors!

The whole place is filled

with evil smells...

and moans

and ghastly shrieks!

There's lightning and thunder

and scary bumps in the night!

Come home? No way!

I love it here!

Ha ha ha ha ha!

DR. KRANK. Ian?

How many times must I tell you

to stay off the phone?

I want to call out

for a pizza.

DENNIS. Extna anclhovies

on mine. please!

Dennis! Adele! You're back!

Where is my dog-man?

Before we answer,

could we have our pizza, Daddy?

- Go!

- Aah!

And don't return without him!

And don't call me...

Daddy!

Uhh!

I betcha that little boy...

would've given his dog

some pizza.

Thank God the other mosquitoes

in the swamp can't see me now.

They all laughed at me,

but did I listen?

No, I was going to be

the world's first...

insect-to-human

transformation.

Hmm! And look at me now.

Stuck in the middle-

neither fish nor fowl.

You're also not a goat.

Or a pig.

Or a bucket of marbles.

Whoa-

Ohh, please,

just squish me now.

# Hot diggity dog #

So far this has been

the greatest day of my life!

And I've only been a man

for, what, like, five hours?

Five hours?

Shoot, we promised Mom

we'd be home by 6:00.

Whoa! Was that

just this morning?

Whew! Time sure flies

when you're changing species.

- What time you got?

- Uh, a minute till 6:00.

Let's go!

Wait! We forgot

one really important thing!

What?!

Who are you, sir?

- That.

- Oh, yeah.

Well, I'll tell ya.

I'm, uh...

Well, you certainly

look familiar.

Wait a ding-dang-doodle-doo

minute.

You're not one of

my fellow finalists...

in the Teacher of the Year

competition, are you?

Uh, why, yes. Yes I am.

Uh, I am a teacher.

And a darn good one, too...

who appreciates a fellow

darn good teacher enough...

to come all the way

down here...

to this lovely

Wentawaygo park to say...

"May the best

darn good teacher win. "

Well, isn't that kind of you?

- Honey, where's Scott?

- Uh...

And, uh, that's

the other reason I came.

Uh, to tell you that, uh...

Scott's family called, and he

had to go home after all...

and he needed

a grownup to help...

and I obviously

am a grown-up...

human man person.

Ahh! Obviously.

Ah ha ha!

You know Scott Leadready ll?

Do I know Scott Leadready ll?

Only better

than I know myself, ma'am.

You're pushing it.

Well, any friend

of the Leadreadys...

is a friend of mine.

I'm Mary Lou.

And I'm Scott.

Just like Scott Leadready.

Oh, uh, right. Heh.

Common name.

Lots of Scotts.

Scotts R Us. Heh heh.

But I'm Scott, uh...

- Manly!

- Manning!

It's a hyphenate.

Scott Manly-Manning.

Well, Mr. Manly-Manning,

it's a pleasure to meet you.

Yeah, sorry you gotta

leave so soon.

Great gettin' to know you.

Just a little...

but not too much. Bye.

Leonard! Where did you

park your manners?

Ha ha ha. After all the trouble

Mr. Manly-Manning has gone to...

the least we can do is invite

him in for a cup of coffee.

Coffee?

I've always wanted

to try coffee.

Boy, it's true what they say!

What a beverage!

Who'd believe that little

brown bean from Brazil...

could pack such mellow,

rich-roasting...

good-to-the-last-drop flavor?

By the way...

were you aware that

it was our 26th president-

Theodore "Teddy" Roosevelt-

who originally coined the phrase

"Good to the last drop"?

Little-known fact, but true.

Yes, I think one of my students

mentioned that once.

- I can't remember which one.

- You can't remember which one?

For cryin' out loud,

it's obviously-

Time for you to go now.

What a shame.

Thanks for stopping by.

See you later.

Hey! What's the hurry, junior?

I'm still on

my first cup of joe.

If you don't get outta here,

you're gonna blow it.

You're gonna say something

or do something...

or drink something and just

blow it! Well, see ya!

MARY LOU.

Leonand Amadeus Helpenman...

we don't just put our guests out

the door like the evening trash.

Ohh, now, now, Mary Lou.

Don't be upset with Leonard.

- He's just a boy.

- Oh, come off it!

Mister, you are out of control!

Now, you go straight to your...

curtained-off section

of the Wentawaygo...

until you're ready to rejoin

polite society for dinner!

Ha ha.

Speaking of dinner,

are you hungry?

Hey! I'm always hungry.

I'm a dog... gone hungry guy.

You are so gonna blow it.

Ahh! I couldn't eat

another bite.

Care for a chocolat?

Ohh. Chocolate

is poison for dogs.

I know. Aren't we lucky

we're human?

Yes, we are!

Oh, I'm sorry.

Did you want one?

# Someone has a sweet tooth #

Ahh, what can I say?

Tlhene's sometlhing about

eating unden tlhe stans...

at a table, sitting in a chair,

using a fork...

that just makes everything

taste so good.

Well, to me, it's not the food,

it's the company. Heh heh heh.

I don't know why,

but it's as if...

I've known you

for a very long time.

You'ne just so comfy

to be witlh. like an old slhoe.

Oh, I mean that in a good way.

Hey, nothin' I love more

than an old shoe. Woof!

Uh, to wear, I mean.

Ah ha ha ha ha!

You say the most unusual things.

But I like it.

Golly gosh, I wish there was

someone like you back home.

You do?

Hold that thought.

I'll be right back.

Well, he did drink

a lot of coffee.

Leonard!

You are gonna be so proud of me!

We can stop worrying

how I'm gonna live...

and where I'm gonna sleep...

and how we're gonna

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