![Find Teardrops in the Snow: The Making of 'The Saddest Music in the World' on Amazon](https://static.stands4.com/app_common/img/no_image.jpg)
Teardrops in the Snow: The Making of 'The Saddest Music in the World'
- Year:
- 2003
- 22 min
- 89 Views
You are a very sad man,
Mr. Kent.
Nothing gets me down, sugar.
Put your hands on the ice...
next to mine.
Just a second.
Stand behind me.
For moral support.
My other pocket's lonely.
Let 'er rip.
Keep moving your hands
until you feel something.
She's a wise old woman.
Look into the ice.
I'm looking.
Closer.
Look into your soul, Mr. Kent.
As your wise old fingers
will tell you,
I didn't cry at my mother's funeral,
and I don't cry now.
Look to your own miseries,
Mr. Kent.
Otherwise, you are a dead man.
Narcissa,
do you have another nickel?
Give her a tip.
A dead man!
Dead!
See how much happiness
your money can buy.
Now, what possessed you
to take me there?
Well, when I first saw you,
my tapeworm said, ''Fortune-teller,''
and that settled it.
I never go against my tapeworm.
I don't believe
in this tapeworm of yours.
Most tapeworms
are chewers, not talkers.
Oh, yes. He's got a very strong will.
He's irresistible.
I'm cold.
Let's take a streetcar.
We can't pay.
It's the 23.
We won't have to.
Are you an American?
I'm not an American.
I'm a nymphomaniac.
As long as you're not American,
you can be whatever you like.
Well, he's an American.
You're mistaken.
He may have
but I assure you
he's Canadian... 100%.
- You lied to me?
- No.
It's like I said.
I'm a producer from New York.
Just down on his luck.
A real-live, Yankee-Doodle boy.
Then you're no son of mine.
Muskeg beer hall.
End of the line!
Get up
Get your boots on
Hurry up, hurry up
Time's a wastin'
if you're not tastin'
Lady Port-Huntley Beer
Can't wait to drink
One down, two down,
three down, four
Along this town
we want to be true
Lady Port-Huntley's beer
It's for me and for you
It's for me and for you
The Muskeg beer hour
is still gushing!
I'm Duncan Ellsworth,
and I've got
major key news for you...
a contest,
ladies ard gentlemer.
The most exciting in our history.
for some spondoolicks?
Here to explain how
is Her Serenity herself,
Lady Port-Huntley.
Thank you, Duncan.
Listen to the sounds
of Winnipeg.
The white breathing of a nocturnal city
in this sad, sad world.
We at Muskeg beer
are proud that Winnipeg
has been chosen
four years in a row
by the London Times
as the world capital of sorrow
in the great depression.
In recognition of this honor,
we will be hosting
a world-wide contest
to determine which nation's music
truly deserves to be called
''the saddest in the world''.
Aspirirg virtuosos
of tearful melody
and lay claim
to the jewel-studded crown
of frozer tears...
and $25,000 in prize money.
That's right...
I can already see
that return ticket to Manhattan.
Come on, let's drink fast.
The Lady Port-Huntley's
Saddest Music In The World cortest.
And they're off!
What do we really get
for our money?
Listen.
Within a few months,
Congress will end prohibition
and America will be
saying goodbye to bootleggers
and be running...
and I mean running...
back to the neighborhood's bar.
Imagine a hundred million drinkers
willing to pay top dollars
for legal booze,
even if they can't make the rent
We, Canada, that happy
suds buddy to the north,
open the flood gates
and makes a killing.
If you're sad
and like beer...
I'm your lady.
Maybe you should make
yourself scarce for a while.
Wait. Don't disappear on me.
How long will you be?
If I'm not thrown out,
under half an hour.
I'll just curl up here
and take a nap.
We will be going for countries
with the highest rate of depression
'cause this is where
people drink the most.
Excuse me for interrupting,
the ''American Ambassador
of Sadness''
says that you wish
to see him immediately.
He can take a seat in the
waiting room like everybody else.
He refuses to wait.
He said if I didn't announce him
instantly, you'd have me fired.
And what does
this buffoon look like?
Well-tailored,
wears spats,
clean fingernails,
clean-shaven.
Spats?
Would you call his hair slippery?
Chester Kent.
Okay, everybody.
Fifteen minutes.
Teddy, stay here.
Lady P.
Had a few hours between trains,
thought I'd drop in.
For what purpose?
Well...to see
how you're getting on.
It's a bad time for me.
I'm devoured with guilt
about the obscene amount
of money I'm making
at a time where so many people
have nothing.
I'm sure you do what you can.
And I am heartsick
about poor Teddy over here.
With a wonderful wife
and two beautiful children,
and has to make me...
sing in a seesaw
whenever I ask him,
just to keep his job.
Don't be embarrassed, Teddy.
Idealism and business rarely mix.
May I?
But I console myself
with the thought, Chester,
that if I hadn't met you,
anything to be ashamed of!
is my philosophy.
Look at the pictures
on the wall! Look at them!
Tell me what you think!
You're everywhere.
I'd say you qualify
as the star of your own life.
When I had a life,
that was true.
You got a new dolly.
It's nice.
Teddy, have you ever wondered
where my legs went?
He's been a dear.
Well, let's be fair, Helen.
You can only hang one
- What is it that you want from me today?
- I want a crack at that prize money.
And how do you intend to do that?
By serving up
the saddest number you ever heard.
I've got schmaltz routines
that could ring sobs from a moose.
Really? And you'll be
representing America, right?
Yeah. Tears, Helen, for all
those blubbers in the old melting pot.
I doubt there is anyone on Earth
than you do.
Nothing makes a dent.
Sadness is just happiness
turned on its ass. It's all showbiz.
You got an orchestra handy?
I'll prove it to you.
Actually, I do.
- Great. Haul 'em in here.
- Teddy, the orchestra.
They're very genteel.
They play blindfolded.
A novelty act, huh?
What's the kicker?
When Teddy and I
sing on the seesaw, they play.
That's a hard act to follow.
Your audition
will be much simpler.
I want you to tell
about my ''accident'',
No, Teddy,
you've been spared today.
Go back.
Start the music.
Play not too fast,
and with feeling.
So, where do I start?
Why don't you start
with your father?
And end with him...
full circle.
Well, he was in love with you,
but there was a problem...
you loved me.
Yes...
Yes, I see it.
- So long ago.
- It feels like yesterday.
I was flattered.
A beautiful woman...
paying attention to me.
He suspected me.
He had good reason to. Right under
his nose, every chance we got.
- We drove him to drink.
He thought himself...
a cuckold by you.
- Oh, yes, I see it.
- So long ago.
It feels like yesterday.
Translation
Translate and read this script in other languages:
Select another language:
- - Select -
- 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
- 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
- Español (Spanish)
- Esperanto (Esperanto)
- 日本語 (Japanese)
- Português (Portuguese)
- Deutsch (German)
- العربية (Arabic)
- Français (French)
- Русский (Russian)
- ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
- 한국어 (Korean)
- עברית (Hebrew)
- Gaeilge (Irish)
- Українська (Ukrainian)
- اردو (Urdu)
- Magyar (Hungarian)
- मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
- Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Italiano (Italian)
- தமிழ் (Tamil)
- Türkçe (Turkish)
- తెలుగు (Telugu)
- ภาษาไทย (Thai)
- Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
- Čeština (Czech)
- Polski (Polish)
- Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Românește (Romanian)
- Nederlands (Dutch)
- Ελληνικά (Greek)
- Latinum (Latin)
- Svenska (Swedish)
- Dansk (Danish)
- Suomi (Finnish)
- فارسی (Persian)
- ייִדיש (Yiddish)
- հայերեն (Armenian)
- Norsk (Norwegian)
- English (English)
Citation
Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:
Style:MLAChicagoAPA
"Teardrops in the Snow: The Making of 'The Saddest Music in the World'" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 5 Jul 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/teardrops_in_the_snow:_the_making_of_'the_saddest_music_in_the_world'_17331>.
Discuss this script with the community:
Report Comment
We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.
If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly.
Attachment
You need to be logged in to favorite.
Log In