That's Not Me Page #6

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but apparently the studio

didn't think I

was gritty enough.

So, I just gave them

a deskful of gritty.

Oh.

People in Hollywood

love this sh*t.

Man, it's a great story.

Like the other day, I was

reading about how Sean Young

got the role of Catwoman,

just by showing up at the

studio, dressed

as Catwoman.

I don't think Sean Young

ever played Catwoman?

No.

What?

Really?

I don't think so.

(Hmm) Well, let's just

see how this plays out.

Anyway, I gotta

go see my agent.

You should probably go

do my shopping, ey?

Yeah, cool.

I'll drop you off.

Great.

(cheerful electro

pop music)

Do you want a top up?

No, thanks, I'm

still on my first.

So my agent wasn't too

happy about the whole

fish guts thing.

Really?

She's pretty angry.

I was doing some reading, on

the whole Sean Young thing,

that did not turn

out well for her.

I just want one

good role, you know?

I'm sick of playing

f***ing pretty girl.

But dude,

you've made it.

Let me tell you about "making

it", Polly, the best

role I've been offered in the

past year was as a hooker

on True Detective, and they

gave it to a porn star instead.

Yeah, but like, you were

like, dating that guy

from OC, and you've been on

like, the cover of Cosmo

and sh*t, that's

pretty cool.

Really?

That's what you

care about?

Well, no.

But like, why do

you do it, then?

Because I love acting.

I want good roles.

I wanna work.

Yeah, totally.

(inspirational music)

Why do you do it?

Well, for me, it's just,

it's all I've ever wanted

to be, since I was a kid.

Who cares?

Sorry?

That's not a reason,

give me a better one.

What?

You're an adult

now, Polly,

not a f***in' child.

Every kid wants to be a movie

star, because every kid

gets told by their parents,

they can do whatever they want.

So, why do you now

wanna be an actor?

I mean, do you

even enjoy acting?

(splash)

(retching)

(coughing)

[Polly] I'm so sorry,

this is so embarrassing.

Oh no, shh, just

get it all out.

[Polly] The customs

guy from Sex and the City

was right. (cries)

What?

I'm a fraud.

No wonder Amy's

beating me.

Everybody just loves Amy.

You like me, don't you?

Sure.

Hey look, maybe you just

need to go home for a bit,

you know, do you your

homework, get a bit of a,

bit of a profile?

Maybe do Summer Street

or something, they love

that sh*t here.

(snoring)

[Mom on Phone] Hello?

Hi.

[Mom on Phone] Polly, oh,

it's very late to be calling.

Oh, I forgot

about the time.

[Mom on Phone]

Is everything okay?

I kind of need some

money to get home?

[Mom on Phone] Home?

Where are you?

At Zoe's?

[Mom On Phone]

Where's that?

We can come and

pick you up.

In Los Angeles?

[Mom On Phone] Los Angeles,

what are you doing there?

I thought we

discussed this.

I don't know.

[Mom on Phone] Well, I think

you should come home.

Yeah, me too.

[Mom on Phone] Alright, well

stay there, I'll call you

back, oh dear, I have to wake

your father, he's not going

to be happy about that.

But I think we should

be able to transfer

some money, alright?

Thanks Mom.

[Mom on Phone]

Bye darl'.

(soft alternative music)

No sweeter word's been

sung, and I'll see you there

At one by the river,

at the bend

Something sparkles

in your eye,

There's something in

your smile, when yousay

We're just friends

And I know I'm here

too early,

I know there are all those

girly things we've got to do

The sky's bright and clear,

the bank is getting busy

I'll wait here for you

Someone else's

friends are on the bank

Someone else's friends

have met in the right spot

Maybe the right spot

was somewhere else, but

So, how was LA?

Um, productive.

I had a really interesting

meeting at a big studio, yeah.

It's just good to get seen by

the right people, I suppose.

Wow, you weren't even

gone for that long.

Yeah, well my agent, ah,

potential agent over there,

thinks that I need to be coming

off the back of something,

she said it'd be easier if

I had more of a profile.

So, I'm just back for a bit

to land a couple of a gigs,

and then I'll go back.

[Ariel] (Laughs) Wow,

that's so good, Polly.

Yeah, but I'm

wrecked, can we go home?

Oh, we, we

filled your room.

Sorry, we just thought?

I was gone for

less than a week?

All my stuff is

still there.

Well, it's in

the garage, now.

Actually, I need to

talk to you about that.

You need to come and get

your stuff, because I think

the roof is leaking, so you

know, the sooner the better.

(sighs)

Can't you just crash

with your parents?

Yeah, totally.

I mean, I won't even be back

for that long, I guess.

[Ariel] Yeah.

Excuse me?

Can I grab the bill?

Do you have any money?

I only have

American money.

[Cafe Manager]

It's on the house.

Okay?

For you Amy, anything.

Now look, what would be really

good, if you don't mind,

could you maybe like,

check-in here, or maybe tweet

something about the

place, if that's okay?

I'm not actually...

Oh, she will,

absolutely.

Oh, thank you so much.

I don't really tweet.

Can I grab an

eclair as well?

I don't even

have an account.

(laughs) Stop being

so goddamn funny, Amy.

She has tens of

thousands of followers.

So cool, Amy, sure

you don't want anything?

Another flat white,

I guess, to go?

[Cafe Manager] Yep.

And a lamington.

Absolutely, it's

my pleasure, big fan.

Oh, me too.

(laughs)

(funky pop music)

I think it's perfect, it's

definitely formal enough

for an awards ceremony.

Not many women could pull

this off, but with your

complexion, Amy, you

just look stunning.

Suppose I could see

Cate Blanchett wearing

something like this.

What do you think, Amy?

Amy?

This was how much?

Oh no, Amy, just make sure you

credit us on the red carpet.

Tonight, we go out, we get

a sh*t-ton of free drinks.

'Scuse me, can I

have your autograph?

Oh, I'm actually not...

Um, of course you can.

Do you want a photo too?

Come on, you want a

photo, don't ya?

Let's go for it.

Say cheese!

She's gonna be a famous

actor, just like you, Amy.

You've really

made her day.

Ooh, dancin', dancin'

Ooh, dancin', dancin'

[Mom] Oh,

you're all fancy.

Big night planned?

Yep.

What time'll

you be home?

I don't know.

Just a rough time?

You don't have

to wait up, dad.

I know, I know, but it's

good to have an estimate

and then we won't worry.

Not a hotel, you know.

I'm not a child.

Do you need

money for a taxi?

Yes please.

(cocktail shaker)

[Bartender] Fries.

Brilliant, thank you.

[Bartender] With the wine,

that comes to $21.50.

Right, I can just

check-in, if you like?

[Bartender] Sorry?

You know, I can tweet

to my tens of thousands

of followers

that I'm here?

I'm from Summer

Street, on TV.

I don't care if you're

Angelina f***ing Jolie.

You need to pay for

your chips and wine.

Of course, of

course, I know.

I wasn't, I was just, you can't

blame me for trying, right?

[Ariel on Phone] Yeah.

Dude, where the

f*** are you?

[Ariel on Phone] What?

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