That's What I Am Page #7

how Cary Grant might kiss Mary Clear.

That turned out to be discouraging...

... because Cary Grant and Mary Clear

looked really good together.

And I suddenly felt more inadequate

than I did before.

"'The Maid of Orleans taken.

Joan of Arc a prisoner.

The savior of France lost to us.'

And would keep saying that over as if

they couldn't understand how it could be.

Or how God could permit it,

poor creatures."

Perfect. We'll finish the last chapter

on the last day of class. Class dismissed.

Oh, I almost forgot.

I will need all of the final team projects

on my desk before you leave.

And remember,

tonight is the talent show.

I want complete attendance.

No excuses to the contrary.

Thank you.

Mr. Nichol.

I look forward to your

and Stanley's report.

Yes, sir.

I spent sixth period P.E. Class

trying desperately not to sweat...

- ... for Mary's sake.

- Come on, Nichol, hustle up, would you?

This whole body odor issue

had begun to consume me.

It occurred to me

if God created man in his own image...

... did that mean

that he too used deodorant?

Or did he simply add sweat

and body odor to us...

... so he'd be the only guy

without sweat rings...

... when the world

was coming to an end.

It was time.

I moved with purpose and yet it was clear

that my mind was not in control.

My body, governed by some force,

previously unknown to me...

... was calling the shots.

This, despite the fact that it was my body

and not my mind...

... that Ricky Brown

would ultimately beat unmercifully.

Hey, Nichol.

We running workups after school today?

- No.

- We've been planning this for a week.

Seriously? Nichol.

I walked quickly.

Not because I was anxious so much

as I was extremely intimidated by Mary...

... and didn't want to upset her.

She commanded respect.

After all, at a time

when every move a young boy makes...

... breaks some personal sexual boundary,

Mary Clear was like a beacon of light.

Even the other girls respected her.

After a boy made out with Mary

they could rest easy...

... in that boy's firm embrace, knowing

one of them knew what he was doing.

Andy.

Where you going?

Bike rack's the other way.

Thanks for all the help today, Dan.

Now I know who my friends are.

I'm your friend, Andy,

but I'm not a moron.

What was I supposed to do?

Get beat up with you?

That makes no sense at all.

Would you be friends with a moron?

Forget it. I'll see you later.

Where are you going?

To meet Mary Clear.

Are you insane?

Ricky Brown will kill you.

I know. But I can't stop myself.

Finally, up ahead,

I approached the tunnel.

Mary would be waiting

on the other side.

You lost, Nichol?

They say your life flashes

before your eyes prior to death...

... but that didn't happen to me.

I took it as a good sign.

All I could think was how painful it felt

when Ricky punched me in the stomach.

And that was just a warning.

- Let him go, Ricky.

- Shut up, Mary. This ain't your business.

You let him go or I'll tell Principal Kelner

who stole $32 in quarters...

...out of the Pepsi machine.

You're the luckiest butt wipe, Nichol.

First, a freak bails you out. Now a girl?

Am I gonna have to fight your mother

next?

I bet the house on my mother, Ricky.

You'll be alone next time, Nichol.

I promise.

Having cheated death once more,

I marched on.

At this point, I wasn't sure

who I feared most...

... Ricky Brown or Mary Clear.

Whoever chose this particular spot

to make out...

... knew a lot more about symbolism

than most eighth graders.

Although no one knew the origin

of said tradition...

... my guess is that

it was Mary Clear herself.

She alone would understand

its meaning.

Hi.

We're gonna have to do this after the

talent show. Bus is leaving in one minute.

Meet me back here.

Doris, have you seen Big G?

Yeah, I passed him

sitting out in the parking lot.

Thank you.

Stanley?

Hello.

You know that time Ricky Brown

was squirting you with a water pistol?

Yeah.

I should have done something.

I should have tried to help you...

...and I'm sorry.

That's okay.

Are you scared?

Yes.

I think you may be

the bravest guy I know.

Or the craziest.

Yeah.

Did Norman come?

I don't know, but I'm sure he will.

Yeah. It's funny.

The smallest kid in school

protecting the biggest.

Yeah.

I'll see you after the show.

Yeah.

See you after the show.

I wanna thank everyone

for this marvelous turnout.

The children have worked very hard.

And I think you'll be surprised

at the wonderful variety...

...of different acts

that we have for you tonight.

Our first act is Doris Gebben...

...who will play a lovely Beethoven piece

on the standup bass.

Doris?

Wait, wait. Sorry.

As Doris droned on...

... I searched the crowd for Norman,

but he was nowhere to be found.

I knew how much it meant to Stanley

for him to be there, so...

Let's hurry.

- Collecting for the paper?

- How come you're not at the show?

- Why aren't you?

- He wanted to know if you were there.

When I didn't see you, I just came here.

You know those western movies where

bad guys are gonna hang the good guy?

But the posse shows up

to save the good guy just in time?

- Yeah.

- Well, I guarantee you...

...there's no posse out looking

to save Stanley.

He'll feel bad if you're not there.

I don't know why he does it.

He just won't give in,

no matter what they do to him.

He'll be on soon.

I just don't wanna see their faces.

I don't wanna hear them laugh.

Look, If he's brave enough to do it...

...you should be brave enough

to be there for him.

I mean, maybe...

- Maybe we're the posse.

- You don't know what it's like.

No, but I do know you and Stanley

are best friends.

- Besides, maybe he can really sing.

- Yeah, sure.

And maybe

they'll vote me king of the prom.

You know, you were right about him.

He's not like anyone else.

My mom says Stanley has something

most people will never have.

Stanley has dignity.

Yeah.

Well, I gotta get back.

Next up is Janet Piccolo

who will twirl her baton...

...to the stirring

"Stars and Stripes Forever."

Janet.

There you go.

Hey.

Hello, Norman.

Good luck.

Thanks for coming.

You okay?

Yeah, I think so.

- I'll see you after the show.

- Okay.

Just... Can you tell me

why you think you have to do all this?

Because, Norman, I'm a singer.

That's what I am.

Okay.

Well, that was certainly interesting.

For our next act...

...please welcome Tommy Kenner

and his swinging drum solo.

He's after Kenner.

I didn't know he played drums. Gotta be

doing something in his spare time.

- He doesn't study.

- The guy can hardly walk and chew gum.

Maybe he'll stink and Stanley

won't seem so bad in comparison.

Holy crap. If Kenner could read as well

as he plays drums, he'd be president.

He doesn't stink nearly enough.

Let the hanging begin.

My goodness gracious.

That certainly was something.

All right. All right. All right, folks.

Calm down.

Our show isn't over yet.

For our last act of the show...

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