The 'Burbs
- PG
- Year:
- 1989
- 101 min
- 5,642 Views
Watch it, you miserable little...
[Dog Yips]
[Yips]
Queenie!
- [Yips]
- 'Morning, Walter!
Good girl. Their lawn
needed fertilizing anyway.
[Electric Guitar Blaring]
[Continues]
I am your war machine
Yes, I am your ghetto scene
Well, I am your love of money
'Cause I found me a little honey
- I'm working for the machine
- Good morning, Lieutenant.
Mrs Rumsfield.
- Hi, Ricky.
- [Continues]
I'm working for the machine, baby
Oh, Mr Rumsfield, be careful. Queenie...
[Steps In Poop]
- Goddam
it. - Uh-oh.
Walter. Walter!
- Walter!
- I love that dude.
- Walter! Walter!
- Mark!
[Sighs] What are you doing up?
Walter's dog just took a dump
on Rumsfield's lawn again.
Good, honey.
I know you're in there, old man!
- Honey, honey, the neighbours.
- Listen up, mister.
That piece of scum,
barking rat of yours...
has just taken his last dump on my lawn!
I find one more... just one... I'm
gonna catch him and staple his ass shut!
[Yipping]
- No, no, no! Honey, don't.
- Come on. Let's go home.
- [Yipping Continues]
- Hey, honey, I think we should move.
- [Cartoon Over TV]
- [Mumbling]
- [TVContinues]
We got an arms dealer across the
street and a crazy person down it.
- [Lowers Volume]
- All they do is fight.
Is this sweet enough?
Now these new next-door
neighbours... What is their name?
- The Klopeks?
- Mm-hmm.
- Is that a Slavic name?
- I don't know.
They've been here a month. Think they're
gonna do something about their yard?
Are you gonna eat any of this?
Oh, no. I got that thing
with my stomach again.
I wonder what was going
on over there last night.
- I knew this was gonna happen.
- What?
- Nothing.
- What did you know was going to happen?
It's started already. Look at you.
You're gonna sit around
all week doing nothing...
get bored out of your mind and go
back to work worse than you are now.
No, I'm not.
Please, let's pack up the car and go
to the lake. Just get away and rest.
You should see yourself. You were
up at dawn watching a dog poop.
You call going up to the lake resting?
It is four hours of driving on
the tollway in holiday traffic...
to sit in some dank, wet cabin...
and wait for that neighbour
with the enormous head...
to get drunk and fall down.
He's a hydrocephalic. I don't think
that you should make fun of him.
Honey, that's not my idea of restful.
This is restful:
Hanging aroundthe house, just being lazy.
That's what I want to do.
I just wanna... hang around.
Be lazy, listen to the ball game...
and drink a couple hundred beers.
Smoke an occasional cigar... outside.
I'll fix the barbecue in
the backyard. I'll do that.
This is what I need,
Carol. I need... this.
And at the end of the week,
I'll be a brand new human being.
It's your vacation.
- [Crow Cawing, Bushes Rustling]
- [Growling]
[Cawing Continues]
[Growling]
- [Growling, Barks]
- Shh! Quiet.
[Crow Caws]
- [Gunfire]
- Art's got a gun.
- [Vince Barking, Gunfire Continues]
- [Cawing]
- Art!
- [Gunshot Shatters Porch Light]
[Art] Hey, hi, Ray. Are
you guys eatin'in there?
You know how Suzette is
about her bird feeder.
These crows start
showing up out of nowhere.
She's all over my back to get rid of'em.
"The crows are too big for
the bird feeder," she says.
- I don't remember seeing crows around here before.
- Oh, big bastards too.
That's why I got the
gun. I'm gonna pop a few.
Why didn't you go with
Suzette to her mother's?
Hey, I'm eating here. Can you imagine
me and the two of them alone for a week?
Uh-uh, this is gonna be a
big week for the bachelor kid.
[Carol] Vince.
- [Vince Barking]
- Vince.
How come you're not at work, Ray?
- I took the week off.
- A week off?
That's great. Are you guys
going to the lake or something?
- No, the backyard.
- Backyard?
I just want to hang
around the house and relax.
Relax? Good luck with those
maniacs you got living next door.
- Have you met the Klopeks yet?
- No.
No, I haven't. Nobody on the block has.
But I did talk to the real estate
broad that sold them the place.
Apparently, their last house
only burnt to the ground.
- Really?
- Yep.
A hideous, raging inferno. [Sniffing]
Neighbours from hell.
Maybe.
Whatever it is, I'm glad I'm not
the one who lives right next door.
Come on, let's face it.
These Klopeks are strange.
I've been watching that house
No one goes in. No one comes out.
No visitors. No deliveries.
What do you think they're eatin', Ray?
want to keep to themselves, Art.
Remember when the
Knapps lived next door?
How many conversations did you
have with the Knapps? I had two.
- Oh, come on.
- They didn't even say goodbye when they moved.
Oh, please. Don't even compare the two.
At least, if they
weren't conversational...
the Knapps were semi-normal.
They worked in their yard. They mowed
their lawn. They had a lawn to mow.
These Klopeks... We don't even
know how many of them there are.
[Boy] There are three of them.
They only come out at night.
Ricky Butler says
they're nocturnal feeders.
Last week when I was up on
the roof with my telescope...
I saw them in their backyard.
- What were they doing, honey?
- Digging.
- Kind of like grave diggers?
- Maybe.
All right, that's enough
of this conversation.
I want you to stop spying on
the Klopeks with Ricky Butler.
And I'd like you to stop filling his
head with such half-cocked theories.
- Where you goin'?
- I'm gonna change into my vacation togs.
Are you done with your eggs?
with the rest of the flowers.
The man at the nursery said...
- Boy, that really burns my ass.
- What?
[Rumsfield] That old fart. He's
got the best lawn on the block.
And you know why?
Because he trains his
dog to crap in my yard.
- [Rock Blaring]
- Hey, Mrs Rumsfield.
No tan lines this morning.
Looks nice.
- [Continues]
- That kid next door is a meatball.
[Rumsfield Sighs] Peterson.
He came out in his robe last night when
the foreigners were making that racket.
He didn't do one thing.
- [Continues]
- So, what are you gonna do first?
I don't know.
- Hey, did I show you my new tools?
- No.
These are great. [Clears Throat]
Carol's father gave
them to me for Christmas.
[Grunts] Huh?
- Look.
- Oh, those are beauties.
- You gonna build something with those?
- I think so.
Probably.
Hey, what time does the ball game go on?
You want to go down to the deli and
get one of those beef sandwiches?
No. I'm thinking of getting one of
those electric garage door openers...
- [Door Creaking]
- And installing it.
[Creaking Continues]
- [Crow Cawing, Insects Buzzing]
- [Door Shuts]
[Softly] Ray. Ray!
Ray, come here.
What is it?
It's my neighbour.
Hey, one of the Huns
came out of the cave.
Why don't you go say hi?
Well, yeah, I guess I could.
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"The 'Burbs" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 5 Nov. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_'burbs_19610>.
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