The Addams Family

FADE IN:

A1 EXT. ADDAMS MANSION FRONT STEPS - CHRISTMAS EVE A1

A GROUP OF CAROLERS, their eager faces upturned, SINGS anendless and cloying roundelay of "Little Drummer Boy."

They sing with self-righteous good cheer. As theypompously begin their umpteenth verse,

THE CAMERA SLOWLY PANS UP THE ADDAMS MANSION -- pastthe black wreath on the front door, past broken windows,

weather-beaten shingles, a creaking shutter.

THE CAMERA CONTINUES TO PAN TO THE ROOF

where the Addams Family members, GOMEZ, MORTICIA, GRANNY,

PUGSLEY, WEDNESDAY, and LURCH, their faithful butler,

gleefully POUR a CAULDRON OF BUBBLING, STEAMING PITCHover the edge.

AS THE CAULDRON TIPS, THE CAMERA PUSHES INSIDE, THE

BLACKNESS OF THE PITCH FILLS THE SCREEN. TITLES BEGIN.

DISSOLVE TO:

1 INT. DIM HALLWAY - SEVEN O'CLOCK A.M. 1

C.U. AN OVER-SIZED "CUCKOO" CLOCK -The

clock is a perfect REPLICA OF THE ADDAMS FAMILYHOUSE, down to the creaking shutter. It chimes the hour.

In ONE WINDOW, a LITTLE MECHANICAL GOMEZ bends a

MECHANICAL MORTICIA back until she's almost off her feet

and plants a kiss between her clockwork decolletage.

One, two, three mechanical kisses, counting towardseven o'clock.

IN ANOTHER WINDOW, A MECHANICAL PUGSLEY hangs aMECHANICAL WEDNESDAY from a noose on a gallows, up anddown.

Meanwhile, little BURSTS OF FOG float off the rooftopwhere a little MECHANICAL GRANNY cranks her fog machine.

The front door of the house pops open, and a MECHANICALLURCH appears and begins sweeping.

Just then, THING, the disembodied hand with the

full-bodied personality, CLIMBS into view over the backof the clock.

Thing leaps to the floor and SCAMPERS down the hall.

LOW TRACKING SHOT

follows Thing along the hallway.

(CONTINUED)

THE ADDAMS FAMILY - 11/28/90 2.

1 CONTINUED:
1

He runs past a couple of doors, past a pair of LEGS inpajamas, feet in bedroom slippers. He skids to a halt

and BACK TRACKS to the legs. He pulls on the cuff ofthe pajama bottoms. They belong to GOMEZ, who standsin the doorway to

A2 INT. FESTER'S ROOM A2

Gomez wears a fez and a smoking jacket over his pajamas.

Even at this early hour, he puffs on his trademark cigar.

Gomez is all enthusiasm or all despair. At the moment,

he radiates unfathomable woe.

GOMEZ:

Think of it, Thing. He's been gone

for twenty-five years. For twenty-

five years we've attempted to

contact Fester in the great

beyond...

The room is a dusty, cobweb-filled, long-unoccupied shrineto Gomez's lost brother, Fester. Gomez drifts in from the

doorway.

The room has remained untouched since Fester's

disappearance as a teenager. The thick coating of dustand cobwebs adorns the mementoes of a rapscallion's youth

-a football pennant from Alcatraz, headless sportstrophies, a high school photo with all the other studentskeeping as much distance from Fester as possible.

As he lovingly and morosely surveys the room:

GOMEZ:

... And for twenty-five years,

nothing. Not a whisper, not a

clue. I'm beginning to think my

my brother truly is lost.

Gomez sighs. Thing TUGS at his cuff, pulling him towardsthe

B2 INT. HALLWAY - SAME TIME B2

Galloping ahead of Gomez, Thing leaps onto anold-fashioned door latch and the door swings open INTO

2 INT. GOMEZ AND MORTICIA'S BEDROOM - SAME TIME 2

Gomez approaches the bed. Asleep on scarlet satin sheetsis...

MORTICIA:

(CONTINUED)

THE ADDAMS FAMILY - 11/28/90 3.

2 CONTINUED:
2

GOMEZ:

(gazing at Morticia)

Look at her -- I would die for her.

I would kill for her. Either way

-- what bliss.

Low-voiced, incisive, and subtle, with Morticia, smiles

are rare. The ghostly whiteness of her complexion isoffset by the red of the pillowcase upon which her hairis spread like a diabolic halo. A dark Garbo, sultryand remote, she's a ruined beauty.

Morticia OPENS HER EYES.

GOMEZ:

(adoringly)

Unhappy, darling?

MORTICIA:

(passionately)

Oh, yes, yes. Completely.

CUT TO:

A3 OMITTED A3

3 INT. PUGSLEY'S ROOM - SAME TIME 3

Pugsley crouches on the floor, playing with his kid-sizedchemistry set.

The walls of his room are covered with road signs he'scollected -- "Bridge Out!", "Detour! Excavation Ahead!",

"Dangerous Undertow!", "Keep Clear! High Voltage!"

SAWED-OFF STOP SIGNS, still on their poles, are stackedin the corner.

In another corner stands a CYLINDRICAL FLOOR-TO-CEILING

FISH TANK, FILLED WITH PIRANHA.

This tubby energetic monster of a nine-year-old boy hasevery chance of growing up to be the public monster hisparents would be proud of.

He MIXES chemicals in a beaker. The brew steams. Grinning

wickedly, Pugsley SWALLOWS it down.

He contorts, undergoing the beginnings of a transformation,

then SHRINKS to the size of a mouse. Laughing, hecrawls out of his human-size pajamas.

CUT TO:

4 OMITTED 4

THE ADDAMS FAMILY - 11/28/90 4.

A5 INT. ATTIC - SAME TIME A5

Solemn and mournful, ten-year-old Wednesday has blackhair and white skin like her mother. She sits on a stool

among the stored Addams' family objects, ONE END OF ASTRING TIED TO HER TOOTH, THE OTHER TIED TO A TRAP DOOR.

The trap door is flung open, GRANNY pokes her headthrough. She's a giggly hag who looks like she was inthe bathtub when the hairdryer fell in.

Wednesday's pulled tooth swings at the end of the string.

WEDNESDAY:

Thank you, Grandmama.

In a foul mood, Granny tromps up into the attic.

GRANNY:

You kids are going to have to kill

your own breakfast this morning.

Wednesday opens a cigar box. Inside the box are assorted

human and animal teeth, fangs and dentures, along with acollection of glass eyes. Wednesday drops her tooth inthe box.

CUT TO:

5 OMITTED 5

A6 INT. GOMEZ AND MORTICIA'S BEDROOM - SAME TIME A6

Gomez takes Morticia in his arms. As she languidlydrapes herself across his chest, she is caught in asudden shaft of sunlight. She squints. On the bedside

table beside her, Morticia's OVERSIZED CARNIVOROUS

ORCHID WILTS.

MORTICIA:

Gomez... the sun... il me perce

comme un poignard.

GOMEZ:

(wildly aroused)

Tish... that's French!

MORTICIA:

(nonchalant)

Oui.

GOMEZ:

Cara mia!

(CONTINUED)

THE ADDAMS FAMILY - 12/3/90 5.

A6 CONTINUED:
A6

He kisses his way up to her neck, then, suddenlybursting with enthusiasm and a sense of purpose, LEAPSfrom the bed, drawing his bedside saber from its sheathand BRANDISHING it at the offending beam.

GOMEZ:

En garde monsieur sole!

He thrusts and parries, pantomiming a duel with theshaft of light.

MORTICIA:

Gomez?

GOMEZ:

Querida?

MORTICIA:

Last night, you were... unhinged.

You were like some desperate,

howling demon. You frightened me.

Do it again.

Gomez, instantly aflame.

CUT TO:

6 EXT. ROOFTOP - SAME TIME 6

Granny delivers a swift kick to her fog machine.

GRANNY:

Lousy bucket of bolts...!

The FOG MACHINE, straight out of a Jules Verne nightmare,

is malfunctioning this morning, struggling to churnout its patches of fog.

CUT TO:

7 INT./EXT. MORTICIA AND GOMEZ'S BEDROOM - SAME TIME 7

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