The Art of Getting By

GEORGE:
Since the dawn

of recorded history,

something like 110 billion human beings

have been born into this world.

And not a single one of them made it.

There are 6.8 billion people on the planet.

Roughly 60 million of them die

every year. 60 million people.

That comes out to about 160,000 per day.

I read this quote once when I was a kid,

"We live alone, we die alone.

Everything else is just an illusion. "

It used to keep me up at night.

We all die alone.

So, why am I supposed to spend my life

working, sweating, struggling?

For an illusion?

Because no amount of friends,

no girl,

no assignments

about conjugating the pluperfect

or determining the square root

of the hypotenuse

is gonna help me avoid my fate.

I have better things to do with my time.

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

I've got a cupboard with cans of food

Filtered water and pictures of you

And I'm not coming out until this is all over

And I'm looking through the glass

Where the light bends at the cracks

And I'm screaming at the top of my lungs

Pretending the echoes belong to someone

Someone I used to know

And we become

Silhouettes when our bodies finally go

Do you have your work, George?

- No.

- Why not?

- I was depressed.

- (STUDENTS CHUCKLE)

Oh, yes? Why was that?

Because I realized I'm gonna die one day.

We're all gonna die one day, George.

I don't think that's a reasonable excuse

for not completing

your trigonometry exercise.

Well, I was trying to.

I just couldn't shake

this awareness of my mortality.

Everything seemed meaningless,

- including the assignment, unfortunately.

- (STUDENTS LAUGH)

I want you to go to the principal's office

and find meaning in the homework.

Bring it to me completed

by the end of the period.

- You're late.

- I was so engrossed in my work.

Boy, I wouldn't wanna be you right now.

- I haven't done anything.

- You've always done something.

You better go.

Bill.

Even though you have

off-campus privileges as a senior,

if you are seen

anywhere in the city smoking,

you have your privileges revoked.

Automatic probation.

Why are you telling me?

- You think I can't smell?

- You can smell all you want.

Shall we get down to business?

Yes, we shall.

In a way, your future depends

on the next few months.

Not just for college.

I mean, it sets the tone

for everything that follows.

Now, I know how you think and I know

you're thinking it's too late

and you're gonna be a fatalist

and let it all go to hell.

But, George, if you keep performing

the way you are,

forget about college,

forget about graduating, even.

So,

this counts as your official warning.

Suspension is next.

I thought probation was next.

Don't play the angles, George.

They won't work.

Neither do jokes.

I wasn't joking.

I know you're capable.

I have a real problem with motivating.

But I think I can do it.

I'll try.

All right, go.

And don't make me regret it.

DOUGHERTY:

Who's smoking up here?

George! What do you think you're doing?

Sorry. I...

I was having a tough day.

I guess the stress finally got to me,

Mrs. Dougherty.

George, why do you do these things?

(MOUTHING) Thank you.

Now, what do you mean by stress?

- Hi.

- Hi.

- I got an e-mail from your school.

- Oh, Jesus.

Some kind of academic probation?

Can I help you?

Can I get you a tutor

or a private college advisor?

If you don't get into a decent school,

then I don't know

how you're gonna get a job.

I have it under control.

Honey, if you don't get into

a decent college...

- I'm gonna go watch TV.

- No, you will not watch TV.

You will stay here

till we can come up with a plan

for getting you into college.

I had a hard day at school, I'm tired,

and I'm gonna go relax now

for half an hour.

Then I will do my work. Okay?

HARRIS:
George?

The f*** are you doing?

I'm drawing.

Are you sketching your subject,

you little sh*t?

Yes.

- I don't have a subject, Harris.

- Why the heck not?

I don't know.

George, you're going to have to start

digging around in there,

so you can develop that talent of yours,

so you can start to use that brain of yours

to express that beautiful heart of yours.

So, figure out what you want to say,

and say it.

- Harris.

- Yes.

I don't have anything to say.

(SHOUTING) Find something!

- Hey.

- Hey.

- I'm Sally.

- I know.

Thanks for covering for me.

No problem.

Why did you?

I don't know.

You were doing something so renegade,

I thought you deserved to get away with it.

I run afoul of the authorities so often,

I figured I could handle it better than you.

You're really weird.

SALLY:
So, why don't you ever

do your work?

There are so many more important things

to think about,

homework ends up seeming like

an afterthought.

ADD?

No, they tried everything.

Ritalin, Lexapro, tutors, therapy.

Nothing worked. I'm the Teflon slacker.

No, it's more like,

we're living in a dying time, you know?

I mean, you got global warming, wars,

terrorism, tsunamis.

- Okay...

- We're definitely on the downhill side.

So, what are we working towards?

What's the point?

I thought I had fears,

but they're pretty run-of-the-mill.

- Pain, death.

- Not me.

I fear life.

(LAUGHS)

Do you have any friends, George?

I'm kind of a misanthrope.

Not a choice, just a fact.

Okay, handsome.

Mom! Jesus!

Hi, banana!

You wanna come up?

I'm sorry about that, chicken.

We had a really late night.

I think we got home right before

you left for school.

Mom, this is my new friend, George.

- Well, George.

- Hello, Mrs. Howe.

- What a genuine pleasure.

- Very nice to...

Sally, do you know

where our stemware went?

I'm drinking wine out of a tumbler.

What do you want, George?

CHARLOTTE:
And this was before

we left the sticks.

So, I cock one eye, look down,

expecting to see a giant water bug,

or a water moccasin, or...

Water something. Something I had to kill.

But it was the pilot's hand!

Oh!

Ticklish, this one!

(CHARLOTTE GIGGLING)

Let me get you a paper towel.

You know,

ticklish people make great lovers.

Everything is erogenous.

My God. She's amazing.

Not if you're her daughter.

How'd you end up in New York?

My mom had me when she was 16.

My dad was a truck driver,

and one day he took off

and never came back.

And this was?

Clarksburg. It's a small town in Tennessee.

This rich guy from New York,

who owned a textile plant,

started coming down, and it was like

we were castaways and he was the ship.

But I ended up here,

eight years old, new school,

new friends, fancy new clothes.

My mom divorced him a year ago,

and now she's back on the singles scene

with a vengeance.

I do think I should

get some homework done, though.

I should get going then.

Got work to do myself.

Yeah, right.

Thank you.

Goodbye.

(CLICKING LIGHT SWITCH)

JACK:
It's not the first time it's happened.

VIVIAN:
I know.

But you never think it's gonna be

the people that it's gonna be.

- JACK:
They've been together for 15 years.

- I know. It's certainly ridiculous.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes