The Batman Superman Movie: World's Finest

Hang on there, Clyde!

Sorry, miss, we're closed.

Just look at what I'm selling!

You'll plotz!

Good work, Harley girl.

Now, what would be a suitable trade

for our joke in the box?

For some reason,

this just speaks to me.

What do you think, Harl?

It's you, puddin'!

Awfully nice

doing business with you.

Thanks.

What a pleasant fellow.

It's weird. All this junk and the Joker

only takes one lousy statue.

Especially since we've heard on the streets

he's desperate for cash these days.

Things are never what they seem

with the Joker.

I guess the night

brings out all the wackos.

It was made of jade,

worth maybe one hundred grand.

I'd like a closer look.

Hey, he can't leave

a crime scene with evidence.

You want to stop him?

Be my guest!

According to this, the Laughing Dragon

has own reputation.

Ever since it was carved in China,

nearly thirty years ago...

...it has passed to several owners,

all of them died prematurely.

And I can tell you why.

This so called jade is admitting

low level radiation.

Alfred, isn't Bruce Wayne about due

for a trip to Metropolis?

Yes but do you think

this is a appropriate time?

I'd say the timing

couldn't be better.

Ladies and gentlemen of the press,...

...if you stay calm, you may

actually live to write about this.

Is the president secured?

Copy. We've already informed him...

...about changing flight plans.

Let's make an example of this hero.

A very tragic example,

I'm afraid, Miss...?

Lane.

Lane? Lois Lane?

The one Superman always saves?

Afraid, so.

Thanks for strapping me in.

Happy I can help out, Mr. President.

I hope I didn't shake you

and the others up too bad.

I had to say,

I've got used to it.

Um, Superman?

Yes?

Um, how can I put this:

I was just thinking...

...it might be nice

to see each other...

...when I wasn't, I don't know,

falling out a window or something.

Not that I'm not grateful for all the times

you've helped me, you understand.

- I understand.

- You do?

- It's the First National Bank.

- You better go. People might...

...get hurt.

"I understand, Lois."

"Really, you do?

Yep, you're a complete moron."

"Why thank you, Superman,

I think I'm a total loser, too." Jeez.

"A grateful president

with stocks heartfelt thanks...

"...to Metropolis' favourite son,

Superman."

Favourite son of a...

Mercy!

Start the car.

I'm coming down.

Right away, Lex.

The office, now.

Swell, Mr. L.

Mr. L.? Mercy?

Oh, yeah. She had a little accident.

All right, missy.

I don't know what your game is

but I promise you,...

...you'll pay dearly for this!

You're dead!

Do you hear me?

Blah, blah, blah.

Whoa, momma,

check out the cute hitchhiker!

Joker.

Lexy, you old kid.

Do I have a deal for you.

Rich Corinthian leather.

What do you want?

I sense we are kindred spirits,

you and I.

Oh, there are differences,

to be sure... like hair.

But underneath it all, we are both

entreprenuers, men of vision.

We see an opportunity, we grab it.

Am I right?

Right.

But in the past few weeks,

I've had run a bad luck.

Bad luck that it wears a cape.

Thanks to that miserable

pointy ear rodent Batman...

...all my operations in Gotham City

had been shut down.

But you too, have an over-growned

bully in long underwear...

...which brings me

to my little proposition.

I'm listening.

Pay me one billion dollars,

and I'll kill Superman!

What makes you think

you can kill Superman...

...when you can't even handle

a mere mortal in a Halloween costume?

There's nothing mere

about that mortal!

Besides, I have read up

on your fly boy.

I know his weakness.

See? Solid Kryptonite.

You know, I can't be connected

to this anyway.

Oh, you'll be Mr. Clean, I promise.

Deal?

Deal.

LEXCORP AIR FIELD

PRIVATE:

I hear Wayne's deal with the Lexcorp

could run into the billions.

- He is a high roller.

- I hear, he's nothing but Gotham trash.

Rich, spoiled and...

...absolutely gorgeous!

Mr. Wayne!

- What brings you to Metropolis?

- How long will you stay?

Quick, is my hair straight?

Excuse me.

Aren't you the famous Lois Lane?

Me? Famous? Well, hardly.

I mean... This is Clark Kent.

Mr. Wayne.

I've read all about your adventure

on Air Force One.

You are quite a news maker.

No more than you.

Which brings up the question,

why you are in town?

Mr. Wayne, your car.

Maybe we can discuss it

over dinner, if you are available.

Totally. I... I mean, I think so.

I'll have to check my... Ok, yes.

Great. I'll pick you up at eight.

More to figure, a guy named Weasel,

can cook this good?

Ceasar Carlini, my old pal!

Why I haven't seen you since...

Wait, I've never seen you, have I?

You need to get out more.

- Who is this clown?

- Not clown. Joker.

I'm in town on business

and I need a place to hang my hat.

Try a motel night.

But it will be so much cosier

at your place, like a sleepover.

Are you nuts? Kill him!

Can I play too?

Carlini, all that spicy food.

You look a little gassy.

No! Stop!

Holly guacamole.

Looks like you need a new leader.

I nominate me.

I'm sec in the nomination.

All apposed?

They found him like this

at the city dump.

- The lights are on, but nobody is home.

- But we know who did it.

He is telling us right now.

As you can see, WayneLex T-7

contrives the most difficult terrain...

...never losing sight of

it's ultimate target.

14,8 seconds.

- Congratulations.

- This is your project too, you know.

Well, I'm proud of the work

both our teams have done.

These robots are gonna revolutionize

unman space travel.

Actually, they're maybe useful

closer to Earth.

The Joint Chief has showned

tremendous interest.

It doesn't take much imagination

to invasion these robots on the battlefield.

Except I won't allowed.

- What?

- I don't like guns.

Well, Bruce, I think

I have something to say about this.

Not according to our deal.

All technological applications

need my approval first.

Blame it on me, Lex.

Tell your pals at the Pentagon

I just don't have the magination.

So he just appears

when there is trouble?

No special signal?

He's not like your Batman,

thank goodness.

Then how do you contact him?

Committing a felony helps.

Listen, you seem awfully

interested in Superman.

Do you want me to fix you two up?

Sorry.

No, I'm sorry. It's just that

I was hoping to get away from...

...the subject of the "Man of Steel"

for one night.

I've been a little too consumed

with him lately.

Maybe we could change subjects.

- No more men in tights.

- Deal.

So just keep your ears open.

Let me know if you hear

any buzz about The Joker.

Sure thing, Mr. Kent.

Eh, but, eh, which one?

There's lots of jokers around here.

Hey, sweetheart!

What are you, dead? Come around!

What's going on?

Who is he?

It's been a long time, Binko.

I heard your boss Carlini

has been replaced.

We need to talk!

Get him!

Where's the Joker?

Who knows?

Makin' ha-ha with Harley Quinn.

I don't know! Honest! I never

went back after he muscled him!

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