The Carpenter's Miracle Page #3

---

Thank you. I appreciate that.

I'm glad somebody did.

So embarrassing.

...and it's only gonna be,

like, another week of hardwood

floors, right?

And then

she wants to do windows...

oh, hey, hey!

There he is,

the miracle man himself!

Or should I say

"the new messiah"?

Okay, guys, give me a break.

That was quite the halo

they had on your head

last night.

Nah, it made you

look like a pinhead.

Careful, or I might smite you.

It's "smote". Smote.

No, "smote's" past tense.

- Oh, is it?

Thanks for trying to help.

Ray, what would

you like me to fix?

This faucet over here.

Can't get any water

out of it, not a drop.

Water out of your faucet.

Let me take a look.

Want a coffee?

I'd love a coffee.

Uh, Luther? Coffee for Josh?

Yeah, you just turn it,

it goes round and around,

nothing comes out.

Hey, candy, take care of

those people over there.

I was thinking about

getting me one of

them halos, Josh.

Where did you get it?

Josh wasn't actually

wearing the halo, Luther.

The TV people, they

superimposed it on his head.

What, like, hung it on a wire?

No, no, no,

it was a special effect,

like they do in movies.

Oh.

Oh, like...

Like that Gollum guy.

Yeah, I think

that's the idea, Luther.

Something like that.

I'm gonna need

to get a part for this.

I'll be back this afternoon

to fix it, is that okay?

Sure, that's no problem.

Uh, Luther? Coffee? For Josh?

Right.

I'll be right with you, Morton.

Well, my, uh...

My dog still isn't

doing too good.

Toby.

That's too bad.

Yeah.

Ever since, uh,

he got his foot caught

in that squirrel trap,

his leg just hasn't

been the same.

Aw, I'm really sorry

to hear that.

Sure do wish somebody

could do something.

Uh, and

what do you mean by that?

Well, you know, fix him.

Like you did

with that Quinn kid.

You were praying.

No, Luther, I was not praying.

You were praying, I can tell.

Luther, listen,

I'm really sorry

about your dog, I am,

but you have to understand

that I'm not a miracle-worker.

That ain't what I heard.

Well...

Luther!

Don't believe everything

that you hear on the news,

and get Josh sugar, a napkin,

cream, a spoon.

Come on.

You were praying for my dog,

I know it.

Can you believe this weather?

Hey there!

Hi!

Staying dry?

Oh, goodness gracious,

what a day.

Yes, indeed.

Oh, those look very nice, Josh.

I love the new cabinet doors.

That's really nice. Good work.

Thank you, thank you.

I'll be done in a bit.

I just have a few more

doors to put on.

You are truly a gifted man.

Are you all right?

Yes, it's just this cold,

it's got my arthritis acting up

something terrible.

I can't get my hands warm.

Feel.

Oh, God, they are cold.

Your hands

are really warm, Josh?

Uh, just good circulation,

I guess.

I, um,

I changed the plugs

back here by the stereo,

so everything should be

working just fine.

Okay.

That's odd.

What's that?

This is the first time

they haven't hurt all day.

What did you do?

Nothing, Lydia,

absolutely nothing.

I didn't do anything.

Well, you must have.

Is this another

one of your miracles?

No. No, Lydia. It's not.

Okay, 228 fig street.

It's supposed to be here

on the left.

That is not 228 fig street.

Where am I?

Wait a minute.

"J.C. Handyman services"

Josh Camden!

Mr. Dudley do-right himself.

Okay, I'll follow you.

Trying to give me

the slip, huh?

Well, you have to get up

pretty early in the morning

to fool old Delia Tynan,

I'll tell you that.

You don't know it yet,

but all of your wildest dreams

are about to come true.

Okay...

My kind of guy.

He's hot.

Hot guy... in a bar...

Possibly a drunk.

Things are lookin' up.

Hmm.

Yes, things are definitely

lookin' up.

Oh! Oh, I am so sorry.

Oh, my goodness.

Are you okay?

Are you all right?

You are really good-looking.

Ex-excuse me?

Have you had work done?

Have we met?

Delia Tynan.

Josh Camden.

Your nose...

your nose is bleeding.

It's what?

It's bleeding.

You've got blood...

my nose? Oh, my nose

is bleeding?

I'm so sorry about all this.

Oof! I'm so sorry.

Okay, take it easy.

Sit down. I'm so sorry

about all this.

You have huge muscles.

Uh...

Can I... can I get you

some ice or anything?

Sure, yeah.

Okay. You sure? Okay.

And a dry Martini, please.

I'm sor... a Martini?

Yeah. Gin.

Dirty. Extra olives...

unless they're the canned kind.

Okay.

And from the shelf,

not the well.

Okay.

Thank you!

Oh, you've certainly

got a feel for the ladies...

bopping them in the nose?

It was an accident.

Yeah. That's what

the abusers always say.

It was an accident.

How's that Martini coming, ray?

Dirty, dry, with extra olives.

Sounds like that reporter lady.

She was in here the other night.

Yeah.

Nice-looking filly.

- Your Martini.

- Oh, thank you.

This is for your blood.

You can put that

on your nose there.

Somewhere in the world,

it's 5:
00.

You look so familiar.

Oh, people think they know me

because I'm on TV.

Oh, you did that show

about the quintuplets.

Sextuplets, but who's counting?

Sextuplets. You're famous.

Actually,

you're the one

who's famous, Mr. Camden.

I don't know about that.

I think I used up

my 15 minutes.

No, no, no,

that's why I'm here.

I came to interview you.

Look, um, Ms...

Tynan,

Ms. tynan,

this has all been blown

way out of proportion.

What, you don't think

what you did for that boy

was a miracle?

I have no idea

what it was, actually,

and I have no idea

why everybody's making

such a big deal about it.

Well, it's simple.

I mean, you give people hope.

That's a rare commodity

these days.

That's good.

Listen,

let me explain why people

can't get enough of this story.

May I?

Of course.

Hello there.

Would you like some company?

Hello.

How are you today?

Well...

Look.

What?

There, right there,

on the pane,

three raindrops.

They're in a race.

It's marvelous.

You see, those two

are in the lead,

neck-and-neck.

And then there's the little one

in the corner,

lagging behind.

See?

Uh, yes. Yes...

Come on, Seabiscuit.

Oh, my. Look.

You see, those two

fast ones there

that joined together.

How's our little...

He's catching up.

Aw, isn't that lovely.

He's joined them.

One raindrop from three,

all winners.

Lovely.

It's remarkable.

I, um...

I got an offer to be interviewed

on national television.

I love television.

So you think I should do it?

I don't see why not.

Nothing bad ever happens

on television.

I'm sorry,

I don't recall your name.

It's Josh, mom.

What a nice name.

I've never met anyone

with that name before.

Hey!

Hey there!

Hi!

How are you?

- I'm good. How are you?

- I'm great.

Good.

I haven't seen you since...

The miracle.

Oh, uh...

Engagement party.

One of the guys at the station

is getting hitched.

I don't drink. At all.

Oh.

That's nice.

Yeah.

So, you, uh,

you seen your friend lately?

Yeah, all the time.

We work together.

Right. First prairie, right?

Yeah.

Why don't you come in?

Come in out of the cold.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes